Full Circle

When I was seventeen I was living on the streets, working at a deli in Mesa, Az. Some how I met a drug dealer from Utah, yeah fucking Utah, go figure. Through this drug dealer I met a man, a father and a husband, says him. I am not sure yet, since we just met, but what he says sounds great. This could be it, possibly a way out. What should I do, lie and say I know Spanish? Then without warning I heard myself say, "I can help you, I can be your nanny." So with that and just like that my life changed.

For almost a year I lived with this family of three husband, wife, and son. I took care of all three the best I could but mostly I learned by watching them, how to be a functional family. At seventeen I didn't know much, spending most of my time on the streets or getting high in hotel rooms with god knows who. So far I was able to stay away from prostitution, although my drunk girlfriend and I did attempt to once and failed miserably. We were so drunk we could hardly stand and we couldn't stop laughing. The guy thought we were laughing at him so he got pissed and left but not before he paid us. Maybe we didn't fail after all well, in the sex department we did but that was fine by me. My "real" momster was a whore and I was trying not to become like her.

After almost a year of living with and taking care of my new family they informed me they were going to move. His parents lived in Indiana and they weren't doing too well so they needed to go back and take care of them. What was I going to do? I mean was I suppose to go back to the streets? I wanted to throw myself at their feet and beg them to take me with them. I was born in Indiana so I knew better. Instead they found me another family to live and work for! Oh happy day! They were a family of four father, mother, brother, and baby sister. They were even better then the first family I worked for. Unfortunately the drugs and booze became more important to me. But not before things came full circle.

When I was adopted at the age of twelve my adopted Mom took me to the dentist because some kid chipped a bottom tooth of mine with a Pepsi bottle. The dentist was very nice and I remembered his secretary's name was the same as my momster's, Rosemary. I only mention this because the lady that I nannied for her father was a dentist. I had met her mother and father before at family functions but none of us put it together. That is until we all got in the car mother, brother, sister, and me to go get our teeth cleaned by grandpa. When we entered the parking lot I knew but couldn't quite find the memory. While sitting in his chair, Rosemary came in and said something to him. He came back over looked down in my mouth and tapped my bottom tooth and asked me, "Who fixed this tooth?" I looked him in the eyes as mine filled up with tears and I said in a squeaky voice "you did". With that the tears came cascading back into my ears because I was leaned back so far in the dentist chair. He sat me up, gave me some Kleenex and asked me what had happened to me adopted mother, Phyllis. I told him that she didn't want me any more, that she had met a man and they got married. He had three daughters of his own, one my age, that they wanted there instead of me. He gave me a hug and said how sorry he was that that had happened to me. I shrugged it off like I always try to do, uncomfortable with all the emotions and feelings and crap.

It was a trip to the dentist I will never forget.