grief

Losing a family member is one of the most traumatic life events; Families must support one another to endure the five stages of grief and get through it together.

Only The Good Die Young
Only The Good Die Young By H. M. Zike The moment that changed everything I had always struggled to get my siblings attention. I was more than ten years younger than each of them. They had more important things to do than play with their baby sister. They had jobs, spouses, and children to take care of and look after. Don’t get me wrong they came to our family dinners, attended every Christmas and Birthday. Even when they were there in the same room with me, it was like they were a million miles away.
By MissyMarie 4 years ago in Families
Shaken but Not Brocken!
https://createmycookbook.com/store/show/215841_233058_1538861266 booksamillion.com/product/9781365786563 It All started with the Loss of the pillar of my life, My Mom. I was Lifeless and felt like I was living in an empty hole. I began sinking deep into the pit of a dark place. Nobody felt what I felt, nobody understood what I was dealing with; and it seemed as if Heaven had Closed its door on me. As much as I had siblings who were grieving the same Mother, I still felt like I was alone in this. Since everyone grieves at their Own pace, the grieving process was definitely different for each one of us. I felt like an outcast and it seemed as if no one could relate to me nor quite grasp the magnitude of my sorrow. There was a feeling of emptiness and lifelessness all mixed in one. I was dead yet still alive, and for a long time I did not have the purpose to live anymore. This picture summarizes that phase of my life. I knew deep down my heart that I would not live to see the new year or better yet, my 27th Birthday. I felt Brocken beyond repair…. My Sisters fought endlessly to get me to go see a therapist, but their efforts were in vain. I was pressured to go talk to this so-called therapist to appoint they even volunteered to accompany me during the sessions. But again, their efforts were short-lived. I knew they cared and wanted me to get the help that I helplessly needed; but I just did not think I was repairable. The Scripture says: “Take everything to the Lord in Prayer” and if God could not help me, I did not see how another human being was going to help me. I blamed God for leaving me behind and allowing such anguish in my Life. I Prayed every night for God to take My Soul Like He took my mothers’ soul. And every day I would wake up disappointed that I was still alive. I knew I was in a dark pace but just did not know how to Get Out. I had a hard time viewing her body for I could not fathom seeing my mother’s body inside a casket. However, I did see her the day of the burial only because they were about to bury her, and I had not yet seen her. That image repeatedly played in my mind, and each time I would cry myself to sleep. I convinced myself that the only way to move forward was to glance through her casket pictures over-and-over again until the day I could look at the pictures without shedding a tear. It took exactly 2months for me to be able to do that. In the meantime, I continued to pray for God to help me cope with it, but to my surprise; help had yet to arrive. After many failed attempts for God to answer my Prayers, I decide it was upon me to jumpstart the process. I figured if I placed myself in harms way then it is human nature if nature takes its course. I began driving to local recreational parks in hopes of running into a veteran. It was brought to my knowledge that they have morphine (for emergency usage in case they run into enemy grounds). I waited at the park hoping to spot a former veteran or ex veteran and possibly secure this antidote. To my dismay I was unsuccessful. I soon resort to ordering it online but soon remembered it will trace back as pre-agitated murder if it delivers to my address. Besides my family were already going through enough, and the burden of being found lifeless in our family home would have been traumatic. Nobody knew of my plans even though they were forever worried about me. If I left the house for more than an hour, they would bedazzle me with phone calls. I soon realized I needed a different plan outside the house and immediately began job searching. Since I was unemployed at the time, I figured I would need an alibi to cover my whereabouts for a long period of time. And what better way than to use work as an escape-goat. I was able to secure a job a week after and proceeded to carry on with the plans once again. This job entailed reporting to work at 5am daily, and since I lived 30mins away; it was the perfect alibi. I would have to leave the house at 4am to make it to work on time. And so, I figured if I suppressed my lungs then, my heart would die out by the time the sun rises. Since there were not too many people on the road at that time, I would be lifeless by the time anyone noticed me by the roadside. My only worry was someone coming to my rescue and being resuscitated too soon and having to live with the consequence. And the other worry was where I was going to secure this morphine. Amid it all, a dear friend would call to check on me. Unaware of my plans as well, we spoke briefly daily. Out of the conversations, the one thing I recall them telling me was to take one day at a time and not worry about anything else. And so, I did just that. I figured nobody understands me nor gets me, so the only thing left to do was to write down what I was feeling. I began writing down what I was feeling and the more I wrote, the more I felt a sense of relief. I soon began having dreams/visions, and each time the voice told me to “Finish what you started’”. At the time I thought that meant to carry on with the plans, but I soon realized God had better Plans for me. One day of writing turned into a week, and before I knew it; I had a manuscript depicting my transition during that grieving process. Anytime I would relapse I reflected from the previous days’ writings and convinced myself that things were starting to get better. If I could survive the previous day, then I was able to survive the current/present day as well. That is how my self-titled book “Memoirs of A Dutiful Daughter came about. It is then that I came to realization of what my dream truly meant, finish what you started was a reference to me launching and publishing my book not what I assumed it meant. It dawned on me then that someone out there was enduring the same pain I was dealing with but just did not know a way out. And in the blink of an eye, I had a light-bulb Moment. I knew I had to publish this book. Writing became my Therapy session, and I knew I had to bless those who are in the same predicament as me. Around the same period, arrangements for Her One-year anniversary were ongoing. I was barely learning to breathe again and knew I could not attend that gathering. I made the decision to stay and not attend her anniversary that year. That decision did not sit well with the family. They repeatedly stated that ‘If you have the ability to travel Home, why wouldn’t you Travel?”. For me it was never about the ability to travel or not travel, it was the ability for me to be mentally, emotionally, and physically prepared to see her headstone and Grave in person again. In order to live again, I had to stay away till I am mentally and emotionally in-synched. I have since seen her grave in pictures, however; It has been two years since I last saw her grave in person. I am still not sure if I am ready to take the leap to go revisit that scenery in person just yet. And for a long time, it seemed as If I was all alone in this, but reality of things is, you are never quite alone. God was with me all along, I lived to see my 27th Birthday and currently coping with my mother’s loss for 3years and counting. There is no timeframe for grieving, for every moment brings new memories. There are days you can reflect and laugh, and then there are days you cry like she just now died. If I were to summarize what the process has been like I would probably say bitter-sweet. No, it does not get better with time You just learn new ways of coping with it. Anything and anyone can trigger your emotions; however, there’s life after it all. You will find a reason to live again. Trust me I know. I have seen 100 so everything else is 99.
By Pam Zee4 years ago in Families
Cancer & My Papap
Cancer is a writhing, slippery demon. Snaking its way through the body wreaking havoc from start to finish. It begins as a microscopic cell then it spreads across a whole organ, 0nly to spread even further bringing anguish to each cell that it so much as grazes. And it will keep going because cancer never dies, the pain never ends, it will steal every bit of joy it can as you claw at your own body wondering why and how such pain could exist.
By Lucy Richardson4 years ago in Families
Fresh on 18
That day started like every other day -depressing. I had been running from responsibility and hiding at my cousin's house when I got the call that changed my life forever. I was fresh on 18.
By Jasmine Belle Jordan4 years ago in Families
That April. First Place in Dads Are No Joke Challenge. Top Story - August 2022.
“Take my air, take my lungs, my heart and my liver,” I prayed. There were mornings that April where time sped up, and I couldn’t keep up. What followed was a soundtrack of crashing and yelling and pulses keeping beat with the chaos. Tick-tick, tick-tick, tick-tick. Fragments of movements mixed with slow motion falls and quick-thinking recalls. The latter always followed by defeated phone calls.
By Christina Hunter4 years ago in Families
Love Can't Save Her
I don't know how it happened. I don't remember many of the details, but somehow I arrived at school for the fall semester. I unloaded my car into my new "home away from home", the big plantation style home on Sorority Row at LSU known as 'the house'. I didn't even really know my roommate. We had been introduced a short time before the room selections last spring and decided to give rooming together a shot. It was a leap of faith in the moment that led to one of my longest and most supportive friendships.
By Evie's Mind4 years ago in Families
A Change in Trajectory
My dad died on August 26, 1997, and I wasn’t there. I could have been there because my mother-in-law at the time offered to let me use her frequent flyer miles to go to his bedside in a Tennessee hospital. I turned her down. Part of me just didn’t want to believe that he was dying, leaving forever. It’s hard to describe that feeling; it was overwhelming. My dad. Dying. I didn’t want to accept it, so I stayed home. Around 2 am, that morning, the phone rang. It was my step-mother calling to tell me that my dad had passed. I cried the rest of the morning, and that day completely changed the trajectory of my life.
By Mike Johnson4 years ago in Families
心への死 (Kokoro e no shi)
What is it like to drown? I hold my breath for as long as I can. I hope it is not some corruption in me that brings her flaws out. When the water and soap are up to my eyes, my mother closes the lid. I am tossed around in a small sea of soap and darkness that she calls a “farm bath”, hoping for the tiniest bit of light. She must think this is fun, but every time I hop into this large container, I don't know if I will die. My eyes sting and my lungs burn, but every time I survive such casual indifference.
By J.M. Moon4 years ago in Families
"Unacceptable behavior"
Memories of today are sorted in my mind into a file. It is titled "Worst Days of My Life," and this date belongs nowhere else. Today, the glow of everything being more or less OK in my life was blown clean away. One phone call changed it all, as I learned my mother has an aggressive form of a blood cancer that may take her in 18 months or less.
By Alice Freist4 years ago in Families
The Loss of a Loved One
Did you ever have that one friend that was always there ? The one that was your brother and had your back no matter what ? I have . Today I say goodbye to him even though I don’t know how. I’m writing down these thoughts to try and help me through this, and maybe help someone else in this situation. You live every day and never realize how short life really is till it hits so close to home it tears your life apart. You can’t think, eat , sleep , or move without thinking about the person in question. So many memories , so many plans , so many things left undone never to be finished. For me my best friends death did all of this and more as he was a huge part of my families life. My husband called him his brother and my kids called him uncle. We all planned so many things that now left a gaping whole in our hearts and life. I am starting this on the day of his memorial service so I can work through this as we go. We are preparing to have a memorial bbq and bon fire with other friends as it was Josh’s favorite thing , besides Dungeons and Dragons . No one however has the the emotional strength to play games today. I just keep playing the last conversation we had over and over . Could we have done something to prevent this. He was supposed to be home today he was a truck driver and today started his weeks paid vacation for being with the company for a year. Now we are all mourning Josh instead. This to unreal I just want to wake up as if it’s a dream. My husband is taking it so hard in our eight years of marriage I have only seen him this upset once and that was the birth of our first son Godryc. He was born premature and his heart stopped in my husbands arms . Although that story ends better he is now seven years old and healthy as an ox. He keeps asking how Uncle Josh died and why he died ? I’m not sure how to answer the why none of understand it. Josh was healthy and only twenty- seven years old . So how do explain a healthy young man going to sleep in his truck and never waking up ? I’m so tired of crying . I keep trying to laugh and joke but the tears keep coming. I cant talk without crying another reason for writing this all down as well. WHY WHY DID YOU GO? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE HOW DO WE ALL GO ON WITHOUT YOU?
By Rose Ulrich4 years ago in Families
Winter memory
Winter of 2009 late evening I remember the first time I’ve ever met my best friends. At first glance Taylor and Tyrone thought I was just another mute kid. I was with my older cousin at the time, they all had planned to go to a sliding party at their grandparents.
By Sebastian Harper4 years ago in Families
I Wish I Spend More Time With You
I come from a small but very united family. Growing up, we always did things together, like eating out, celebrate birthdays and more. My dad was mainly behind these activities, so we were slightly more fond of him.
By Diane Z4 years ago in Families