grief
Losing a family member is one of the most traumatic life events; Families must support one another to endure the five stages of grief and get through it together.
I’m the reason he’s dead….
Dear Mom, I can’t sleep, I haven’t slept fully through the night in almost 4 years. But you know that already, you seem to always know everything one of your kids is going through. Usually you have some magic words of wisdom that makes everything seem a little less scary, a little less painful, magic words that conquer the monsters in our brains and fills our hearts with love and protection. Isn’t that what a mom is supposed to do? I know bc of you and how I grew up, I’ve tried to be that kind of mom to my own kids- I’m hoping I’m doing an ok job. I want them to alway know they can tell me anything and writhing and it doesn’t matter what time of the day it is. Us Richardsons have this weird habit of epiphanies showing up at around 2-4am when when the rest of the sane world is asleep. This time though I don’t think it’s anything I can share with you. This time the thoughts I have aren’t anything your magic words can fix. This time you might never talk to me again if I share this with you, and still I have to tell you bc it’s eating me up inside and my life is slowly unraveling. I thought this would be my secret that I took with me to the grave, that no one ever had to know about, that I could just swallow and go about the rest of my life But I’m not sleeping even more than before, I’m probably going to lose my job soon bc I can’t keep my eyes open during the day, but if I try to sleep at night I’m met with horrific nightmares of the last thing he said to me. Of the last choice I made, the choice that ruined our entire family. The choice that left blood in my hands that I cannot wash off. The blood red mark that will forever be all over my palms, engraved in my heart, burned into my soul. I killed my brother mom, I am the reason that he is dead. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you sooner, I’m so sorry that I didn’t save his life.
By Jessica Richardson4 years ago in Families
Dear Mommy
Dear Mommy, The glare in your eyes scares me. Is it because I left the broccoli on the plate? Is it because I told you I hate your always-too-salty cooking? Is it because I jump out of the chair, run around the table, and feel disgusted by the salad you’ve put together?
By Deborah Angevin | Story Writer4 years ago in Families
A Message for Noah
Once upon a time, there was a little boy, Noah, and his sister, Faith, who lived in Heaven a very long time ago. They lived there with their family waiting for the day when they could be born and live on earth with their mom and dad.
By Rebecca A Hyde Gonzales4 years ago in Families
Letter to the woman that use to be my mother
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom, It has been a few months since we last talked. I hope wherever you are, you are doing well. I know things between us have never been perfect, but I still miss you despite everything that has happened between us. I miss your hugs, smiles, laughter, and questionable taste in television shows. I miss talking with you, getting advice from you, sharing stories, and hearing about Grandma. I miss having you around, but I know that woman is gone, at least for now.
By Jackie Mallery4 years ago in Families
Sometimes I Cry
Hey Mom, I never told you this before, but sometimes I cry over you. Sometimes when I am holding one of my babies in my lap, stroking their hair back from their forehead, I cry. Tiny, wispy hairs, slightly curly, which we inherited from you. I look at their face, their tiny nose, their pursed lips. I dot my finger in the little hollow between lips and nose, soft soft soft, like the petal of a petunia. I look at their perfect fingers, their chubby toes, their clear, trusting eyes. I whisper, “I love you big and big.”
By Ferne Pierre4 years ago in Families
There Were Good Times
Mom, To say I kept secrets would be a bit of an exaggeration. I omitted things I knew you didn’t care about. If I told you I cried on the bus everyday of junior year you would’ve told me I was being hysterical. Or if I had told you I felt like my life was going nowhere I would've gotten the generic parent speech. Or worse, a comparison to how trivial my problems were compared to yours. When I graduated high school you eagerly flipped through my overpriced yearbook, and you were disappointed with my picture. I hadn’t put a senior quote or done any of the electives because I hated school and I just wasn’t that kind of person. At the time you called me a loser. I never told you that when I'm at my worst your voice comes and pierces my rational thoughts with that word. You hadn't meant it as severely as I took it.
By Ariana Pelton4 years ago in Families
Goodnight, Nonna, Goodbye, One of The Main Link To My Family
My Nonna died on January 21st, 2021. Really, she had led a busy life full of many great rewards. She had six amazing children (sadly two had passed away before she died) and a plethora of grandchildren. She was a firm but fair, stern but loving Italian woman who despite moving to Glasgow when she was younger had never really kicked her Italian accent.
By Paul Stewart4 years ago in Families
The Train Home for Mother's Day
"Going home the weekend?" I had fallen into conversation with two boat captains while we waited in the terminal for the train. They had sailed down Lake Michigan, caught an Uber to Chicago's Union Station, and were taking the train home to Michigan in time to have dinner with their wives. It's Mother's Day weekend, after all.
By Lydia Stewart4 years ago in Families
So what remains?
My great-grandmother was born in 1924. I sit in a chair in my amnesic patient’s room. She can no longer remember who she was, but she remembers a hamburger joint somewhere near her Virginia house. So, we, her husband and I, spend half the night talking about burgers and the consistency of the burger places we each have visited throughout the years. He goes to sleep on a chair next to her hospital bed where she lays still and unbothered, like an Egyptian mummy. We turn all lights out and I’m left alone with my thoughts in the squeaky, honestly most uncomfortable chair I have ever sat on.
By Alejandra Marin4 years ago in Families
To you in heaven
My dear Joanne I must confess how because of you I am so blessed even when I right my wrongs my heart still aches that you are gone that cancerous disease that took your life all it does is cause me strife. From now until we meet again I pray for you not there but then. As long as you live on in me I hope you are pleased with your choice with thee I won’t disappoint I mustn’t decree because you sacrificed everything just for me. Alas the time to leave has come I bid you farewell but not goodbye for you have left your mark in me I pray that I can fill your need. Though that time has come and gone again I must accept I’m not alone , for your spirit lives on in all of us I feel your presence every day .you left when I was still a babe I cannot fathom that from you I was made. As days go by I think of you often though I feel at a loss I know it’s false as your always with me when I feel far and miss you so I just look deep in my heart and then I know there’s nothing that will separate me from you as you are the paper and Christ is the glue. Every day when the sun rises is a gentle reminder that life takes time. Time what an atrocity it can be when grieving a loved one thinking “why me”? Just as all seems to fail my faith in you will prevail. I know not why this happened to me but I believe in good spirits thy trust is with thee. I love you Joanne I know that much there is no hatred just bad luck but oppose to this I will not fret that your time came but mine just not yet . I say this now with a heavy heart I love you mom please don’t ever depart. When times get rough and I grow weary I’ll think of you and might get teary. So as I age and live my life you will be talked about as though you are here my kids nieces and grandkids too will know my mother is now not feeling blue. Your pain is gone and has been for some time now is a lesson learned oh how art thou that lesson being stay true to thyself your legacy lives in more than myself you longed to serve and help your neighbours I’m proud of you and all your labours as I think of myself and how you were I knew everything happens for a reason I’m just glad you chose me for that season I end this now with no demise as I finally think this is a reasonable compromise you out of pain and in god’s hands you will be with me no matter where I stand . Joanne Mary Martha how lovely you are your in my prayers near and far . Thank you for all that you have done if only we could partake in much more fun. As many can relate to such sorrow you made everyone feel special to each their own how you did it surely that is not known. Farewell again my dear sweet mother you taught me to love one another there’s nothing left I can think to say but that I love you especially on Mother’s Day so I will pick up my pen just one more time to say good bye until we meet and greet next time
By Danny Campbell 4 years ago in Families
Dreaming of Being Anywhere Else
My life has changed very abruptly. While it wasn’t an unknown change, and one to be expected, it was still rather sudden. What makes it even more confusing is that so many emotions have come to the surface. At first it is the whole ‘soldier on’ mentality when things had to carry on but the focus had changed slightly. Then it was the ‘we need to share the responsibility’ when things were not really improving but regular, mundane daily activities took a back seat to what was happening. Then the ‘we will get through this’ thinking about a time when a return to normal would gradually begin again. So the body kept moving through all these stages of thinking but the body became tired.
By Lynne Mitchell4 years ago in Families
