advice
It takes a village to raise a family; advice and tips to make the most of yours.
Being Grateful
I cannot tell you how great it feels to hit that “Write” button after so many months of having a mental creativity block. Recently I was inspired to recreate the look of my blog and, when I did, I remember how I felt when I first created it…optimistic and motivated. Writing again, I feel as if I am in my comfort zone, sitting in front of my brightly lit computer screen at roughly 3 AM, listening to the clicking and typing of my keyboard, pouring out all my thoughts and feelings that have been kept inside of me for these past four months and, let me tell you, it feels amazing. As I am sitting here, trying to think about what I could possibly write about next, one thing in particular hits me, it was a conversation I had today with my mom and little brother. See let me start from the beginning. Growing up, I was extremely outgoing, friendly, and not one shy trait in me, basically carefree, but as I got older I became more conservative and really cared about what people thought of me. See growing up in Rosedale is pretty difficult, because a majority of my friends lived in large homes, had extraordinary birthday parties, and had a large selection of material objects you wish you could have, but realistically you know you cannot, so you say and do things to help you fit in. I was one of those children. See in fourth grade, I had a crazy, active, creative imagination. I kept my parents away from the school because little did they know, I was living a double life during school hours. I wasted a school year telling my friends I had my own Build-A-Bear workshop, McDonalds, and ferris wheel all in my larger than a millionaire's house backyard. Everyday during groups, everyone would lean in close to hear my stories about how I got to travel and I made so many friends…. I was the center of attention. Then, one day, my mom showed up at the school to surprise me and well, you can probably guess what happened… “Oh my gosh, are you Amanda’s mom? Can we go to your house? I want to build a bear! I want chicken nuggets! I want to ride the ferris wheel!” and let me tell you, I will never forget the look on my mom's face. As a child, you don’t know any better than just wanting to make friends and wanting to fit in, but that look on my mom's face made me feel ashamed and I knew exactly what I did was wrong. As you get older, you just stop caring about what people think and you start living your life, because, in reality, people are going to reject you no matter the choices you make. Looking back, I didn’t have to lie, we lived in a beautiful gated community with a home that my parents built together from scratch. We take these things for granted and we don’t realize we have these things until they are gone. It’s sad how society can turn an 8-year-old girl insecure about things she already has, but doesn’t realize it. I now see this happening in my youngest brother who is 12. Although, I started lying at a younger age, I can tell he doesn’t want us around as much as he used to. The idea of my parents and I coming to his school events makes him cringe and he slowly slips away. He stops giving us the school event papers and he doesn’t get excited for future days like his 6th grade party, Bulldog day, and graduation. He could still be lying and embarrassed, kind of like I was when I was younger, but that might not be the case here. I guess his friends at school believe it's uncool and weird to bring your family to family events like open house and things like that, and it’s sad, ya know? Society ruining my little brother's head like that… he is the last baby in the family, the last child for my parents to watch grow up. You may not believe me when I say his friends say these things, but we’ve been attending this elementary school for 15 years and the attendance rate for tonight’s open house was the lowest my mom and I have ever seen… and we’ve been to every single one, since 2002. Going back to the conversation that influenced me to write today, I found myself holding back tears as I explained to my brother that my biggest regret was not appreciating my parents being as involved in my life as they were. My parents showed up to every school event, or at least tried to, to the best of their ability, and now here I am, going to be 20-years-old next year, wondering where time went and realizing the only family event I get to look forward to is my college graduation. I no longer get to walk my parents around campus to show them my classrooms, my handmade art projects my teacher hung on the walls, my own desk I kept so clean with my FREE educational books. I no longer get to show them my Valentine’s day boxes, my AR reading goals, or take them to my Honor Roll Banquets. I am still a child to those who are older than me, but in reality, I am not. I just hope he and other kids realize… time flies. Don’t be ashamed of yourself or your family. You can feed into the ways of society and your friends, but remember this… “Friends come and go, but family is forever.”
By Amanda Ante8 years ago in Families
A Letter to New Moms
Where was my time? What had I been doing all day? I thought this as I sat on the couch slumped in a heap. I reminisced on my day with a groggy mind. Diapers, diapers, diapers, feedings, feedings, feedings, laundry, laundry, and more laundry. I wanted to do so much more than just those things today. I was motivated to get dressed in an effort to not stay in the house all day.
By Nothing New8 years ago in Families
We All Kinda Suck
My bad. I am totally the worst. A hypocrite to the MAX. I spend my entire time worrying about how moms are being judged or shamed—trying to give okay moms a voice. Trying my hardest to tell moms from every walk of life that it’s okay to be okay—to ignore the perfect instagram mommies because there’s a lot we don’t see behind their perfectly filtered pictures.
By Hannah Howard8 years ago in Families
What Happens If Your Baby Is Born Earlier than Expected?
My friend Karen discovered this when she went into labor several weeks before her due date. Her husband was at work at the time, so she took a taxi to the hospital. After a substantial wait at the hospital, staff told her that she was several weeks too early. They sent her home.
By Andrea Dawson8 years ago in Families
Single Mum Survival at Christmas
As the Christmas season is upon us we find that it is required to go to the shops and buy other people gifts and suchlike. It is required that we attend social events and smile nicely. It is required we do all manner of things to make Christmas go smoothly. Here's a list of Do's and Don'ts for Yuletide cheer. 🎅🏻🎄
By Eve Tawfick8 years ago in Families
Wake Up Call
Have you ever watched the news and just asked yourself what it is that is wrong with this world? Or why people treat the planet and one another the way they do? Because I certainly have. It makes me feel down and depressed. Sort of hopeless, as if this world is doomed and there’s no point in trying to implement change. But if we all succumb to the sadness that tragic events bring and the frustration we feel when we witness the horrible situations that take place, nothing can ever get better. It’s our job to make a change. Though it may seem cliche, that’s not a motto to be taken lightly.
By Jenna Fanelli8 years ago in Families
Adventures in Motherhood (Part 2)
Well, I had planned on writing once a week more or less but it's only been three days and I'm ready to write again! Okay, parents, let's talk crying babies... I know, I know, it isn't a very uncommon thing for a baby to cry but what about a baby who, up until about a week ago, has been a fairly happy baby and is now up multiple times in a night and crying all day? This is what is happening to me and I think it is because of a number of factors.
By Erin Davie8 years ago in Families
My Little Blessings
I don't know what it is about children or babies (whichever word helps you imagine a cute little being) that has us adults considering creating these little creatures. Don't get me wrong; I love babies! I mean I should, considering the fact that I have three of them! (Wide eyed emoji). But what is it about them that has us under this spell to keep populating the earth with them? If you really think about it, children are the death of us. Point blank period! We make them, only to be subjected to their every demanding need, 24 hours of the day. I mean that's a job in its self. One that should be paying top dollar! I'm talking about presidential lifestyle. YESSS HONEY!!! I should be living like a queen. Bigger than Queen Elizabeth because I got babies! Yeah that's right. I should be richer than Richie Rich. Why? Because I got babies. Now you see, having these babies is not cheap and man do they take my sanity and turn it into insanity by the end of the day. I'm talking about not being able to shower until 1 PM, because when I'm forcefully woken up at 7 AM in the morning by the two energetic toodlers, I gots to get up and GO GO GO GO. Honey, I'm talking about not being able to brush my teeth because these kids got me running around in the kitchen like I'm on the red team of Hell's Kitchen preparing a meal to just get thrown back in my face because, "it's too cold", "it's not enough" or because they don't want it anymore. And Lord forgive me for wanting my children to just sit down and SHUT UP when 2:00 PM rolls around, because you know that's when momma gotta watch her Maury and Steve Wilkos show. That is if the baby doesn't demand my attention during this time. I mean, like it's not bad enough that right now at this very moment as I am typing, I cannot correct every spelling mistake I have or polish my grammar because these kids are driving me nuts at this very second as I'm trying to put them to sleep. You know what, I am feeling very compelled to start praying right now; here goes...... Lord, I love you. Lord, I thank you for each and every day that I wake up and am able to walk and talk, and just enjoy life. But Lord, I just have one question to ask you...... why in the world didn't you stop the clock when you saw that I was engaging in non-marital relations when my momma told me no? Lord, these children have taken me from 0 to 100 real quick and have caused physical damage to me. Lord, they have taken my once before sexy petite body and turned it, into a size 14 stretch mark, back fat, granny panty, fat armed walking machine. Lord, I used to take pride in how I looked and now my husband's lucky if I even draw on my eyebrows in the morning. Lord, I have learned my lesson. SEX is BAD!!! And I promise to spread the word of the consequences of having children to all the teenagers who are out of their horny adolescent minds. Forgive me for my sins Lord, amen. You know what? I actually feel a lot better now. I love my kids y'all, but I would be lying if I said I wish I had waited a bit longer to have them. I wish I really sat back and thought about the alter life change I would have by not taking the proper precautions when having intercourse. I wish I had really LISTENED to my mother when she told me "your whole life will change, you will change." But here I am and here I stand. A 25-years-old who has three beautiful healthy children, but who had to postpone certain things because she was having kids, when she should have postponed having kids to focus on the important things. Like the old saying goes; "you live and you learn," and boy have I learned. Nevertheless, I am grateful for them, because they have given me a completely new purpose in life and drive that I have never had before I had them. So to all the childless readers out there; really evaluate your life before contemplating about having children, because having children is easy; it's raising them and being able to care for them physically, emotionally, and mentally that's the hard part.
By Shebona fortune-Williams8 years ago in Families
My Father Hated Me
I’ve titled this article “My Father Hated Me” but in fact it was a lot worse than that: the truth is my father despised me and everything about me. As I write this I hope I’m not sounding too much like a victim, and to this day I still wonder if a lot of this is in my head, but then I remember: I know the truth, because this has been my life ever since I was a little girl. For reasons unknown to me, my father has always had an intense dislike of me, and that includes just the sight of me. I often wonder: What do I remind you of; or what was going on when I was a baby that turned you so against me? But, I don’t know the answer.
By Mari-Louise Speirs8 years ago in Families
