advice
It takes a village to raise a family; advice and tips to make the most of yours.
What is wrong with Indian parents and society?
Indian parents and society should protect children like a cavity instead of criticizing or demolishing them. Mostly, Indian parents always compare their children with others, thinking this will motivate their children for better results. However, they don’t realize that this indirectly instills jealousy and competition in the child's mind. I see this behavior in many parents and teachers, where they scold children by saying that you is bad in study, your mind is week and you will never achieve anything in life, repeating it often. This behavior feeds into the child's subconscious mind, and eventually, the child believes that they truly won't achieve anything. I want to relate this to the story of Thomas Alva Edison. As a child, his teacher sent him home with a letter and asked him to give it to his mother. When Edison gave the letter to his mother, he asked what was written in it. She replied that the letter said, "Your child is very intelligent, and my school doesn’t have any scholar teachers who can teach him." After his mother's death, Edison found the letter one day and became curious to know what was actually written in it. When he read the letter, he found out that it said, "Your child is very poor, and we can’t teach him." So here, you see the power of words and the intelligence level of his mother, how she changed Edison's life just by changing a few words. This shows the power of small words, which we often don’t give importance to. Parents never ask their children about their happiness and desires. They always think about others first—like what stream the neighbor's child is taking—so that, accordingly, their own child should also take that subject to maintain reputation in society. They emphasize their child to take that stream, irrespective of their desire, which is why children quickly burn out from their studies. Many of them even commit suicide. In Kota last year, approximately 20-25 students committed suicide, which is why Kota is called the "Suicide Capital." When making decisions about their child's career, parents shouldn’t emphasize too much on what career their child should choose. They should give their child the freedom to choose a career based on their interests so that they can enjoy their studies, have curiosity to learn more, and think and analyze about it. This can't happen when a child is forced into a stream by their parents because they aren't interested. In that case, their mind is always focused on finishing quickly and escaping from the situation. If later on, they fail in their career or in that subject, they will have more potential to overcome the situation because it is their passion, and they won’t quit easily. Parents should teach children to accept failure from a young age so that they build patience and the ability to handle failure and know how to overcome it. Failure is a part of life, which you can't remove, but you can certainly decrease it through past learning experiences. In India, on TV channels or in newspapers or magazines, there should be at least one program that teaches parents how to behave and build a bond with their children in a psychological way. This way, they can give suggestions, even negative ones, in a positive way—like Edison's mother. Parents should also spend some time with their children, trying to understand their feelings and thoughts. Many times, children are in trouble but are unable to express it to their parents due to restrictions. At such times, they find themselves alone and may take wrong steps. The ultimate aim of parents is to keep their children happy and successful, but their wrong approach and the pressure they put on their children—because of society, relatives, and colleagues—only pushes them in the opposite direction. Instead, parents should handle that pressure themselves and protect their children from it. That’s what real or "hero" parents do.
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