Single Parenting

I heard a lot of young women talk about how hard is to be a single parent, and yet they don’t want to hear from other parents to help them. What I’m about to share is to help other single parents understand that it is hard, but you are not alone, and getting help is not a weakness. I was young about 23-year-old when I had my son and his father promised to stay with us. One day, when we were watching a movie, he told me that he was going out to get some bread for sandwiches and he never returned. I was mad at first, but I was pregnant at the time and made a conscience effort not to have negative feelings towards the father and whomever else got on my nerves. It was hard too, because I was a single woman, a singer in the church who got pregnant out of wedlock and some people were angry. They did not want to hear me sing in church and they went to the pastor to voice this opinion to sit me down. However, the pastor got up on a Sunday morning and rebuked the people who came to him about me, saying " we are people that should forgive like God wants us to forgive instead of condemning the young women, but to embrace her because that is the reason why she went outside church to find love because she couldn't find none is here this church" and he continued saying that he was embarrassed by the lack of love some people have displayed regarding this young women. Then, he preached about forgiveness and the fruit of the spirit. There was no one who said anything that day. Anyway, some of them appeached me with bad comments that I will not mention in this story. I will talk about a memory that I remember to this day that happened to me about one elderly woman who came to me when I was sitting outside the church getting some air. She mocked by saying “ha, ha, that’s what you get” and she physically poked my chest several times as she continued making the statement. I stopped her by putting up my hand to catch her hand, I looked her in the eyes with a share that startled her, I got up and walked away. She never approached me again because I wanted her to understand that I may be young, but I was not one to mess with.

I had my son in December 1986 in Minneapolis, Minnesota. We were homeless living in a homeless shelter, and only a few church people knew about my situation and they would stop by to give what they could and offered a pray for and my child. I found a place for us to live and I was so happy because I did not want to raise my son in a homeless shelter. I mean don’t get me wrong, the staff personnel were great and supportive and some of the families living there were nice, but I stayed to myself and prayed a lot. Anyway, when my son was three when he was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) and learning disabled (LD). I did not know about this condition. The only experience that I knew of is from a childcare personal who treated my son badly that when I picked him, they had him sitting down on the floor facing a corner by himself from the other children. They told me not to bring my son back again and to get him tested so that is how I found out my son had an issue. To me as his mother, my son was active, but I knew how to care for him and structured my day around to keep him busy and to teach him differently at home. I learned everything there was to learn about ADHD, LD, and the treatments, and I choose for him home treatments and herbal remedies, which worked well, but the school system demanded me to put him on Ritalin. Was parenting hard, yes, because I had to fight against men who called my son a menace to society because he was without a father, and other men who wanted to hurt my son and bully him because they thought since my son was without a father, and I, a single mother would not do anything, in which they found out the hard way I, a single mother was not having it. I got advice from other mothers and I used what was appropriate for me and I always called on God for wisdom to raise my son as well. Young mothers need to listen to advise, because it would help you be a better parent to your special needs' child. It does not make you look like a bad parent, but it helps you. I will continue my story later.