Shane.

2/27/19 was one of the hardest days having to say our goodbyes to our third baby. He was expected to arrive to this world on July 12th, 2019 but instead he arrived February 27th, 4:30PM. His name is Shane.

On February 20th, 2019, My husband & I was hoping to finally share the news with the rest of our friends & family that we are expecting baby #3. I was already 5 months along. It was the day of my ultrasound to find abnormalities & find the gender. At the end of the ultrasound, the sonographer stepped out for a bit & when she came back in the room - our nightmare began from there. She explained that the ultrasounds are always live to a radiologist & they spotted abnormalities right away & there was a doctor on the phone waiting to talk to the husband & I to explain more in details. She left the room so we could chat in private. The doctor informed us that it looks like our baby’s brain & skull is not developing correctly & we needed to see my primary doctor right away in the morning to figure out a “plan.” My heart shattered to the ground. All I could do was cry and hope that they are making a mistake. My doctor visit was at 9am the next morning. It was only 1pm. It was seriously the longest 20 hours of my life waiting for this appointment.

The next morning we went into the office and my doctor stated that she believes it is Anencephaly. It is a defect in the formation of a baby's neural tube during development. This causes the baby to have an underdeveloped brain and incomplete skull. She sent us to the U of M Maternal-Fetal Medicine Center to get another ultrasound & confirmation. It was finally confirmed that baby indeed has Anencephaly.

I decided to get induced February 27th. Baby was so good to me... my induction started at 11:30AM & I had him by 4:30PM... we got to spend the whole night and morning with Shane. We were discharged this morning & handed our baby boy to the Chaplin as we said our final goodbyes today. He was wrapped in a tiny cloth & had a white stuffed puppy along with him.

Shane, although the pain will never go away & I only carried you in my tummy for 20 weeks and 5 days, I hope you know how much I loved you. I loved your little strong daily kicks. I loved the future thoughts of you with your siblings. When you came out it didn’t matter how you looked like, you were perfect to us. Your legs were so long, you would’ve been so tall like your daddy. You had such a cute button nose. You had the perfect hands & feets... Now you’ll just forever live in our hearts.

While everyone else are having healthy pregnancies and healthy babies, we are grieving our stillborn baby boy. Kiss & hug your babies a little tighter today. ❤️