NEVER SAY NEVER

It was a Wednesday afternoon and I felt at my lowest money was tight I was behind in my bills my social life was none existent, my relationships were..mmm well what can I say yh there's nothing to say I just felt my worst even though I give my everything to everything I do in life from work to friends, family and strangers. I found peace most of my life but as the years went by after every fail and mistake I made life did start to hack away at my soul so it felt. I still tried to shine everyday regardless of what life threw at me. Well this one particular afternoon I was called to the office.  It was like saved by the bell the tv programme I use to watch as a kid. Laughs aside after I was slaving away cleaning day in day out fingers sore to the bone id had enough. I no there's a lot worst in life that could happen but I felt alone even though I felt ok deep down there was a gap, something missing a feeling of not quite belonging no matter how hard I tried to figure it out, the many faces I put on or how many times I tried to find the courage to smile when I was crying deep inside. So you can imagine the anxiety I got as my name was called threw the mic but as I got to the office my boss Terry told me to take a seat. He said to me “iv got some sad news for you” me thinking iv been sacked and that was all I needed in life right now. He continued “iv just received a call to say that your grandmother has passed away and you needed to go home right away”. My grandmother was the only woman I was ever actually close to, the one person that understood me was no longer with me I wasn't sure whether to speak talk cry or scream all I could think of was getting home to my mother and father. I got home to what seemed a pretty calm environment it didn't seem morbid at all if anything it seemed quite normal. 

My parents were cooking, the music was on it seemed really cosy which felt odd to me as my grandmother has just died.. but as I walked threw the hall way to the kitchen I notice a chest in the corner of my eye which I was drawn to straight away  like a bee to honey so I go to open this box then my mother's slams it shut “Teas ready” she says so we sat down at the table and had what seemed to be a very normal dinner. With me been the only child and still living at home at the age of 34 dinner time is normally quite. But they didn't shut up wow iv never seen my parents this way I didn't understand at all what was going on. So I asked them if they were ok and assumed it was just the shock . My mother says to me “your grandmother is still here within spirit” Obviously that's what they all say so I didn't think nothing of it. My mother left the table and went over to this bizarre chest blocking my view with her body so I could not see. The box seemed like it had a built in magnet and it was pulling my body towards it.  She opened the chest and pulled out a little jewellery box and placed it on the table behind me and said “this is what your grandmother wanted you to have so make sure you cherish it forever” Me thinking Wow this family really is different. I hurried to my room with the box in my hand curious to what id been left in memory of beautiful kind Nana. To my amaze she had so much in this box along with keep sakes , photos and little love notes between her and my Pa pi ❣️ it was beautiful to see I can't believe she never showed me. In a daze whilst reminiscing about fun times we had I managed to knock the jewellery box onto the floor and it went every where smashing the box itself ..As I was panicking aswel as crying barely seeing what I was doing trying to pick everything up I noticed an envelope so I leaned over to grab it, as I turned it over my name was on it so I opened it and it said “may the force be with you love nanni xx” it just made me cry I couldn't believe she was gone. As I continued to pick the remains of this broken box feeling confused about my letter and why it said what it said but as I picked up the broken box it just felt odd like something was sticking out so I moved onto the bed and started to mess about with what seemed like a black something I didn't no what it was so I eventually pulled the back off and out fell a little black book. To my amaze it was a blank book but it had my name written on the inside along with another message it said “you are what you feed” so I was really confused at this point maybe she was meant to write a diary for me I don't no. I went to bed that night sad missing my best friend.. tossing and turning wondering why this was happening to me why would someone take the only person I felt truly connected with but eventually I did fall asleep. During the night a sudden noise woke me up, as I sat up I saw a glowing light coming from my dressing table. I sat up rubbed my eyes not knowing what day time or week it was. Im staring at this light thinking did I leave my lamp on but then I realised I didn't have a table lamp. So I got out of bed and walked over to the light then I realised it was the little black book open with a beam of light shining from it. I just froze wasn't sure what to think. After a few seconds of shock I walked closer towards the book and as I got closer I felt this pulling feeling again but stronger and it didn't scare me nor did I want to turn around, as I got closer the pull it got stronger and stronger and as I went to close the book the force was that intense it pulled me into the book.

Next thing Iv woken up in a bed in what seemed like a palace so I hurried out of bed over to the window to see fields of grass, meadows with fruit trees music playing people singing. I was thinking am i in some crazy dream whilst trying to pinch my self so I did it again just to see if i woke up.. so I decided to try leave the room and as I walked threw the door it seemed like I was in some glorius lands. As I'm walking threw the corridors I can see all beautiful flowers everywhere and there were little faires watering the flowers little bunnies running around on the floor, birds tweeting and butterflies fluttering it was such a beautiful place it was like heaven. As I walked for a few minutes I came to what seemed like the main Court room. I heard voices so I moved closer and closer inching my way to hear and see these voices.  As I peaked threw the banisters I could see a small crowd of people which seemed like half humans half animals along with very tall people with like a grey skin, white auras with wings I could not believe what I was seeing I had to rub my eyes and rub them again knowing full well this was a dream It had to be. Me been me and as clumsy as I am I fell off my own feet and landed in a heap in plain sight to these strangers.  Staring at them and them staring back at me in shock.. you could hear a pin drop it was that quiet. The pause seemed forever then an almighty cheer erupted resulting them rushing over to me then threw me up in the air and carried me like a bag chanting in some weird language id never heard "Ooohh stala Mish dai canto" they carried me to what looked like a king's quarters then placed me on a chair whilst Bowing to my feet. I was so confused. Then a soft voice appeared “hello we've been waiting for you golden child” I replied to what seemed like a lady with horror asking where I was, why I was here or if it was all a dream. She replied to me saying “you have been the chosen one for thousands of years before you were even born you hold great powers from your ancient ancestors” I just laughed, I couldn't believe what I was hearing. As she appeared in front of me my eyes glew as she was the most beautiful lady id ever seen. She was tall with greyish skin white hair an jewels all over her, with big beautiful wings. She looked at me and told me to close my eyes and think of a gem deep inside my soul and wrap myself around it clearing all doubt s.  I opened my eyes up like id been in a deep sleep. She then told me to think of moving something In the room. Wow this dream just gets better. So I went along with it and I thought of closing the windows but nothing happened she then told me to breath deep open up to the unknown and feel free . So I did and I repeated the same action and before my eyes the windows shutters slammed shut. My face Must have been a picture. she then said “what treasure do you wish” so I wanted 20k for this new book that id been writing and wanted to go world wide with it so I imagined 20k and to my amaze it appeared. She explained that my family history has many hidden secrets and my mission was to finish what they started to unlock the hidden powers of my family book by completing each page as it opens every night. I'm to travel threw dimensions fix past life karma's then it will result me unleashing my families hidden powers that I can use and change the world for the better. I am to use them for the good and the balance of humanity then she passed me an amulet. It was beautiful. Next thing my alarm was going off and I stumbled to turn it off. Not sure what dream id just had. But as I was on my way to work I felt different not my usual self. My day was slow, boring and repetitive wishing I was back in my dream. On the way home something made me put my hand into my pocket to my amaze it was amulet. As I got home I ran up the stairs to grab the book. The first page was full with codes, scripts and equations it was so amazing to think I wasn't going mad and it wasn't all a dream. I looked to my left to see the big chest in my room so I walked over to it to see it full with money, I just dropped back onto my bed staring at the ceiling thinking never say never ey. I couldn't wait to get into bed that night to see if the book opened again.