My Mother

My mother is the most inspiring woman to me because she is fearless yet so loving. She's a proud Filipino, 62 yo, born in Davao and the first of 10 children.



She's a Sagittarian, with a Scorpio rising and Pisces moon, astrologically, this means she is destined to be a visionary, with deep-churning, magnetic emotions and wild dreams.

Mum always achieved anything she set her mind to. While growing up on a farm in Digos, she never experienced a proper childhood because she was up to her armpits with many responsibilities.

These responsibilities included seeing all of her siblings go to university and completing their studies while she couldn't quite complete her own.

This is because she fell in love and had my sister with a mysterious man. Only problem was that this secretive gentleman was hiding another family. Heartbroken and traumatized she fled to Australia with my dad who she met not too long afterwards. He was holidaying in the Philippines and took a shine to my mother's work ethic and exceedingly good looks.

He knew he found an elite woman. A true keeper.

My mother isn't just hardworking, but she is also charming and can turn on much magnetism when she wants to.

She could have had any man, but settled for my dad who treated her very poorly. He was Egyptian and was traumatized from the second world war. He carried a similar story where he felt much responsibility and avoided his own needs to take care of his family, as well coming out of a divorce. He was also an alcoholic, which made his behaviour worse than what he could have been mentally.

He was always in and out of court because he got a thrill from suing anybody he went into business with, vice versa.

Here we have two heartbroken and traumatized individuals that met at the centre of the earth before getting married after three months to end up in a marriage for 33 years.

My father died early this year on January the 27th.

I had just come back from helping out at the Wangaratta showgrounds during the fires only to find out that my father had cancer.

One week later he past away and this is when I had seen my mother stand in her power like she never had before.

While on the phone to me she announced his death and bought both my sister and I tickets to Sydney for the funeral, post haste.

Post haste was no understatement.

The next morning we flew over and arrived an hour late. Because of the delay we had to speed to the mosque. We just caught the service in time and he was buried that same day.

No wake, speeches, last goodbyes - nothing but prayer from a segregated part of the mosque where I could merely see his coffin.

Here was where I completely lost my composure.

Islamic cultures are strict on keeping burials as clean and efficient as possible. I never got to see my father's body, it was too late. Plus I was not allowed to stand near his burial as he was being buried because I am a woman.

After the service, my mother started arguing with my father's earlier children (who are now adults well in their 50's) with much valour as they are trying to take her to court for her house, which they don't need.

I've experienced a cross-cultural upbringing. My father's side was Muslim and my mother's was Roman Catholic. Although my mother had sent me to private, catholic schools, this didn't deter my father's offspring preaching Islam to me.

This conflict caused much tension within the family dynamic hence why court matters are still lingering after my father's death.

In Islamic culture, when it comes to will matters, everything needs to be shared equally. However the only two people that worked their butts off building a life together were my mum and dad, together.

These offspring were well established with their own lives before dad got remarried and therefore had nothing to do with the growth of their business or the exclusive family mum and dad raised with my sister and me.

Mum's life to summarise was a constant battle, trying to maintain a relationship with a mentally ill, alcoholic; as well trying to maintain a good relationship with her two daughters; while running a business; as well as governing the farm and remaining the matriarch of her family back in the Philippines.

When my father passed away my mother did not cry because at this point she was relieved to see him go. The only grief she openly expresses is the loss of younger siblings and other family back in the Philippines.

There is one soft spot she will always have for one of her brothers who drowned while fishing. He was the teddy bear she protected because he was constantly bullied growing up, never finished university, nor got married and became an alcoholic.

Now that my father has passed away all she needs to worry about is keeping her house away from the inlaws, who have completely underestimated her input in sustaining my father's health their entire marriage especially in his last moments.

My mother's visit down to Melbourne post the funeral really encapsulated the essence of her strength, pride and joy she carries for us daughters.

This came through especially when she took care of me while I mourned the loss of my father. She cooked, cleaned ensured I was still on track with my routine for uni. She made me laugh and even wiped my tears whenever she caught me crying.

Despite having such a busy schedule I did not want to leave her side even though I had much resistance towards reconnecting with her.

The reason why I carried much resistance was because there have been some mishaps during my upbringing that have happened that was neither of our faults, but it didn't result in us seeing each other in the best light.

Without going into too much detail, it involved sexual assault, but this is another story for another gloomy Melbourne day.



What inspires me the most about my mother is that despite the hardship she went through, and is still going through, she always has room for me and my sister.

My mother's love is truly the deepest, irreplaceable, unconditional and honouring connection that I've ever experienced.

After witnessing her bravery with my father's death I now feel a deeper purpose to serve her and ensure she retires peacefully.

I'm the luckiest person in the world to have a mother as resilient, as inspiring and as beautiful as her.

I am so blessed.