My Father's Inheritance

I have had the utmost privilege to have known the man for 20 long years. As a child, I’ve always looked up to him and strived to become the man that he was. I reminisced the nights when he would read me tales and parables as I tucked in for a good night's sleep or the times I went past my bedtime to watch Jason Bourne on the Sony box television beside him or the cold early jogs we used to do every sunrise on the weekends. I thought I was going to follow in his footsteps, but little did I know that life had other plans for me.

My dad passed away on the 8th of April, 2020. His passing was one of the roughest patches my family had to go through. It tore us when my brother and I could not visit his grave nor be there for his ceremony due to COVID-19. Many of those who knew him came to offer sincere condolences and gave bouquets of freshly picked roses. Some knew him as a friend, a relative, a brother, a mentor, and a great businessman, but I knew him as a father.

Bob Marley was once asked: "Are you a rich man? Do you have a lot of possessions?" and he replied: "Possessions make you rich? I don't have that type of riches. My richness is life." My father wasn't Elon-Musk-rich nor Jack-Ma-rich; he lived a simple yet meaningful 48 years. He did not have much to give when it comes to possessions, just his beloved Honda 250 Rally. Instead, he inherited me with these three life lessons, something worth far greater than silver and gold.

1. Family comes first, always.

No matter where or who you end up being, your family has been and always will be your day one. Remember those times when you trampled and fell on the ground? Or when you got lost in the middle of a crowded mall? Who were the ones looking for you? Who were the ones who picked you up? Your parents. Be grateful to have known your parental figures even if it were just a short while for some; they gave you their world to help you create the future they never had.

2. It's okay to cry but do so in your own time.

Only recently did I realize that throughout the entire time I have known my old man, not once (believe me when I say this) have I ever seen him shed a single tear. This still boggles me until this very day, like how??

Every child gets raised differently. My dad’s dad taught him to be rooted, independent and gritted. He had to be tough and be the stronghold that his family can lean on, especially when they don’t have the strength to stand up for themselves. That was what my dad wanted me to be, only this time, he wanted me to also be comfortable in my skin. I am undoubtedly an emotional person. At times, I would weep or tear up over petty things said to me growing up, whether it be things like a quarrel with my brother or a C- in my report card. My dad saw the person I was and still am, and those were the words that helped me grow stronger and gain control over my emotions.

His passing shook us all to the core, but amidst those raging and stormy nights, these were the words that swooped in and grasped on my weary heart. I had to be tough, even when I know damn well that I, too, can be vulnerable. Some people struggled more than I did, especially my mother, who lost a husband and her mother at the time. If my dad was able to teach himself how to stay composed when everyone around looked up to him, then wouldn’t he want me to do the same?

Life is unfair; it always will be, no matter how hard you try to tip the balance. Some things are just beyond our reach; we can't have all the things we dream of in life, but let me tell you something that we can do: appreciate. Appreciate those who stood by you through the seasons, appreciate the food on your table, the clothes you wear, as well as the roof over your head. We often overlook the little things, forgetting the fact that it is the small things that count.

3. Those who humble themselves shall be uplifted, and those who uplift themselves shall be humbled.

A modest life. That was all he ever wanted, and I am happy to say that he achieved that. As I said, my dad wasn’t filthy rich like Bezos or Warren Buffet, but we had just enough to afford the simple pleasures in life and still be content with what we were capable of.

Like any clueless child, I was always ever-curious about the world, my dad's world, to be exact. Occasionally, he would take me on a 2-hour drive to where he worked, he worked as a Chief Business Development Officer at B&B Inc at the time. He would show me around the factory, how products were made from scratch, introduce me to his colleagues, and teach me professional courtesy and formality. It didn't matter if they work at a level above or below him; he still gave equal respect with a firm handshake and a genuine smile.

“We don’t rise by stepping on others, but by uplifting those around us.” Everyone has silent battles going on inside them, whether it be financial struggles, relationships, or even personal ones such as physical or mental health issues. So just like what Cinderella said: Be kind (literally the first thought that popped in my head). You have no idea how powerful one handshake, a smile, or even a simple nod can be to anyone around you.

Small things accumulate to great things. Long after my dad's passing, heck even long after he resigned from his 15-year-job, his former colleagues, employees, and partners came to his funeral. That shows just how far humility can reach and hold on to people, something I aspire to achieve when I leave this world for good as my dad did.

I have a lot to learn, but also a whole lot more to give. I still have a long journey ahead of me before I can get to where I want to be, and I am sure everyone reading this does too. But I will forever keep these words close to my heart, I pray it guides me through this unforeseeable path I'm on and I hope they can do the same for you.