My Bebes Spot

When you think of home, what truly matters in reality is what makes your home.

What is home? home is different for everybody. What this life has to offer, the cards you are dealt in this life will determine what you call home.

Growing up in Wyoming at My grandmas house playing with no worries on my mind is what I considered home once upon a time. where and how I grew up has a lot to do with who I am today, yet, I will not call it home.

My life from birth until I was 16 was in the same town, same friends, same church, same everything, and still I do not consider Casper Wyoming My home.

Loveland, a cute little town in Colorado, the Land of Love. This town is the place I choose to call home even though I do not live there anymore.

I gave birth to my two children in this lovely little town. A town that brought me my fondest memories and the ugliest pain that will never go away. Still I choose to call this town My home..

Why, why do I choose to keep coming and tormenting myself most people seem to think. I dont see it as tormenting my self. Loveland Colorado is where My children were born, this is where they considered they're home.

Life was good, life was full of love, softball, martial arts, bowling, fishing, you name it, it was part of our everyday life. I never in a million years would have thought that this town would become My children's final resting place. I have no choice but to call this place Home.

For me, this is the place that will always bring me the most peace because this town has not only brought me the best times of my life, it has also brought me the most pain. Pain that will never go away.

The 13 and 14 years they spent here on this Earth was just a moment, a moment I replay in my mind over and over. The years they spent with me is when I ever really had a Home.

Having my kids next to me the moment they took there last breathe was the moment that nothing else mattered and I needed to be with them, They, they alone is what I called home. What and how can I ever even consider a home. Nothing, absolutely nothing will ever feel complete.

I found myself at there spot every single day for the first 3 years after they had parted. laying in the grass trying to grasp at the fact that they were really gone. My Son, My Daughter was my home. Spending my time in a graveyard was the only place for me to be. I know there souls are in heaven, yet when your trapped on Earth, not wanting to be here, why would you even consider this place home?

I spent so much time at there spot that I have met many other parents who consider this graveyard home also. different ways, different circumstances took out children out of this world and yet we had something in common. We are lost looking and waiting for that peaceful feeling that makes you feel at home.

It's been 12 years 11 months and 1 day Since My Bebes left Me and I still find myself making my way up North to spend time at My Bebes Spot which I will now consider my Home.

Seasons have come and gone. Every birthday, holiday, death date I find myself sitting at the spot speaking to my children as if they are still here.

I am sharing this to make people realize that home is a feeling, not a place. Even if you are one of the lucky ones and your children get to live and you watch them grow. When they move out your house, it is no longer a home.

Anyone reading this be aware of the blessings that you have. When I say blessing I am speaking of your children. Children are your future, children carry on your legacy. Children are the true meaning of having a Home. enjoy them while there little and all the time they take to raise. In a blink of an eye the will be gone living there own life, a phone call away.