Holding Out for a Hero

When Bonnie Tyler wrote the song "Holding Out for a Hero" , she really hit the nail on the head.

After two marriages to two narcissistic men who were both cruel to me and my son and who both failed to be a father and a stepfather to him, I realize how true the lyrics to her song are in my life. The days and nights that I have prayed for a man that would sweep me off of my feet. Not that I am out there searching bars, dating sites, or hitting up my friends for single men.

At this point in my life, I refuse to settle for anything less than what I deserve. I do not consider myself to be a princess or a woman without flaws or imperfections. I know I have my own share of baggage just like everyone else in our world does; however, I will not create more drama in my life by bringing in a warm body that does not belong there. I am not a queen vampire collecting human specimens. I am a regular woman with needs, wants, and desires. I look back at people's stories from World War I and World War II, and I see the sacrifices these couples made for each other and their family. They fell in love and married and somehow were able to keep their love alive until the day they died. The love and commitment they found is what I am looking for in my life. Knowing their life was not going to be easy, they fought to keep their love alive and some of them experienced severe struggles and loss. Caroline Thomas lost her husband during World War II. He had shipped off to the Pacific and she last saw him at a train station on Valentine's Day. After his disappearance, she visited that same train station each year on Valentine's Day.

Many adult children could share stories from their childhood about how their parents were able to keep their love alive. I know that couples do not always see eye to eye and there are times they need space from each other to work through their issues. Some couples may argue more, but still love each other and they are able stay married to each other for many years.

The TV shows I watched growing up did not always portray couples like they are in the real world. Archie and Edith Bunker had a very unique relationship to say the least. Archie was the bread winner and was the dominant one in the marriage. Edith was the stay at home mom and was there to cook and clean during the day. Archie would insult Edith and she would always dismiss his comments and still say loving things to him, cook his food, and take care of him. She could be a little annoying, though, in her on way. Then there were the Jeffersons. They were the complete opposite of the Bunkers. George was also the bread winner, but his wife was not the quiet, meek type that was there to cook and clean for her husband. She did love her husband, but she was also very opinionated and would share her opinion with her husband. They also had a maid named Florence who was there to take care of the cooking and cleaning for Mr. and Mrs. Jefferson. Both of these shows portrayed marriages as being loving and faithful. There was no cheating, abandonment, or divorce. The couples certainly had their issues, but they always came back together as a couple.

What has happened to marriages over the years? I remain faithful that one day my hero will come to sweep me off of my feet. I have read many fairy tales over the years. Even though fairy tales do stretch the story a bit, what is wrong with the thought of being rescued by a knight or prince on a white horse? I am an educated, independent woman who is capable of living on her own and taking care of herself. But why should a man expect me to take care of him? Why should a man expect me to change my career for him? Why would a man want to come into my life and be mean to me or my son?

Bonnie Tyler sang it best when she said "I need a hero. I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light."