Growing Pains

Who can really decide the perils of injustice or justice, the guilty vs the innocent. Does one size fit all or are sins subjective. Do the laws that proclaim our nation's tell the truth; With some countries stoning to death, legally, for having sex out of wedlock and other Government leaders creating laws that has led to mass genocide of its own people. The self proclaimed judges of the land, if any trial is held at all, sign the death certificates and the witnesses “Hail Republic”, willingly or not. Is there justice in the eyes of a loving Mother who must condemn her child.Can we ever speak of love and justice as the same. How about God’s justice, although many do in his name, what if judgement day is real and we do meet our maker of kind. Would we get what we give or will compassion prevail. Maybe judgement is just in the minds of our self and we alone, bear the weight of our own doings.

It’s Summertime and although the sky is blue and the sun is shining, a dark mist eats the atmosphere; the city lives next to the water which houses one of the biggest ports in the country; the industrial mechanics sailing past collecting and producing cargo, leave their cloud of charcoal all day, every day. The rain can be frequent but always welcomed as the heat brings the already small walls of the residents even closer. Among the residents are children, among the children are two siblings; 14 year old Michael, although no-one but teachers call him Michael, he prefers Mickey, and 12 year old Charlotte, who like Mickey, is only ever called this by her teachers. Charlotte answers to Charlie. The two this morning are on a square, stone porch waiting for the door to open. They’ve been out all night and are tired and hungry. Food isn’t found in the house often and sleep can be unachieved at times, other times successful, today the children are hopeful. After what seems like forever and with the warmth increasing in dust, they decide the reward is worth the risk and begin to bang rapidly on Mr Mathew’s door. The loud sound would surely visit him in his dreams as a ghost of horrors past, sending the blood to his heart and his eyes to awaken. It works and the door swings open. Expected or not, the sight of his Children waking him up at eight in the morning is usually met the same way each time, quite brutal. Not for the behaviour of staying out all night alone on the streets at such a young age, but for waking him from his deeply hangover state. The plan devised is Mickey will stand in front and do the hammering, whilst Charlie stands right behind him, she knows to run straight past them both when her father grabs her brother. The old man can’t beat them both together any more, well not in the mornings anyway.

Not far from the Mathew's home is the Bellerive family. A God loving, if not slight fearing household. Their son, who is contrary to the latter, has been in bed before the day’s sunrise. His Father lets out the cat, says prayer, makes coffee and then checks on his Son, John Bellerive senior and his habits have become John junior’s clock after being caught a few times too often after sunrise. His Wife works the late shift at the local care home and requires a lie in on her after work days. Only one parent at a time to creep past, little John had also learned. This was the family’s routine four mornings a week. The other two days were spent together as John didn’t start work until 10am at the post office and Darla enjoyed making breakfast and eating with her husband. John Senior was the one who insisted on Darla sleeping until mid morning to upkeep her rest. The family spend every Sunday morning together in church. Their 18 year old daughter sleeps soundly in her pop-starred poster room with too many mirrors and slogans to care and her 14 year old brother begins his rest in contrast to the day; which is the final day of the school holidays and so last night was the final of owl meetings until next Summer. John and his friends find it easier and more enjoyable to play at night with the air cooler and less tar filling it than in the day. The mystery of the night and its dangers are no secret to the children; most children survive in the environments they’re given with the conditioning starting at birth. The young ones learn to use their speed and agility for protection. Predators are vast at night and often want to play with the children, and not like the usual games.

Along with the other kids is Jake, he is also 14 years old but doesn’t have anything to do with sneaking. His Mother works nights three times a week and collapses on returning home. She hasn’t checked her son's bed in years and his Father isn’t around to check. Each child at some point sleeps throughout the afternoon in whatever cradle they have. Although stimulation from the outside world is a challenge, their youthful energy nevertheless sees them through and they awake once again ready and present in the moment before them. It is the last day before school of course.

Darla Bellerive, along with her own children’s strength, maintains that of the Mathews children by feeding them one large meal a day with her Family ever since their Mother passed and today is no exception. The family, plus two, say grace and then tuck into homemade vegetable pie with potatoes and a rich sauce served in small yellow jugs. Dessert to follow is Darla’s speciality, apple crumb and custard; served also in the small yellow jugs. Mickey finishes what Charlie doesn’t, much to the Mothers delight. John senior, with a cross floating above his head, informs the children of how one day they’ll have husbands and wives of their own and will eat their own food at their own table, with their own families, and the Lord too, of course. The children after dinner clean the pots and pan used by Mrs Bellerive so as to not ‘spoil them’. Next they spill out the house full bellied with high voices. This continues down the road; along past the row of shops including the post office where John's father works, next to the convenient store, a laundrette which houses more occupants than the homes around it and a sad looking library whose insides tell a different story. Mickey, Charlie and John continue onto the swollen patch of brown grass opening to the north side entrance of the park that connects each estate. Hands grab silver and black rusted railings as they push their way through the gates, wasting no time heading towards more silver and black rusted railings as they leave the park at the south side entrance. The three of them have been making this same trip for nearly seven years. Although the park and its adventures are tempting, this isn't where they play today.

You can see the tall flat that Jake lives in with his Mother as soon as you leave the park, but the distance between is not quite as close. Hot concrete, within a sphere of brown brick homes, sits between the buildings resembling those adjacent to the park. But Unlike the north side area, the south displays a thick block flat with a near height of a skyscraper, sporting the same brown brick like the homes below; no glass windows here to see through. The flat is a station house for mostly people passing through and then some staying, from different cities, countries and backgrounds, usually coming in by boats but if not, by any means possible The waters aren't always safe. The echoes from the conversations within the corridors of the flat can be mistaken for those at a United Nations conference, to the children it sounds like a familiar song. Lena Orlova and her son Jakub; after fleeing their previous family home, moved into the high-rise flat just over seven years ago. The Polish Mother worked two jobs to provide for her small family in a new country and her son was accepted into friendship after starting at the local school, which is run by the Church. Funding is thin but the teachings are full and Jake, as all call him, along with his friends found security in the walls of the Church School. Jake finishes his sandwich and juice before going to put on his shoes. What his Mother lacks in presence, she provides in service for her son; He is alway, fed, watered and clothed; but mostly alone in a sea of hundreds of people. Except for when his friends come to visit and the tower becomes their castle. It's the flashing visuals of computer games in his bedroom during the wintertime, and after a heavy rainfall, it's on the rooftop of the 70 metre building on these summer days and nights. The complete open, wide surface offers up el fresco playing for the children and is as popular as the swings and slides of the playground. The carefree hearts, if not already a little bruised and battered, remain open to no surrender and slight menace. The hazardous area brings the children comfort at times when hiding up high on the roof is safer than whatever is down below.

The local School, sitting in the marble walls of St Luke’s Parish offers what it can to the students although few are in a state of mind to receive. One who is able and smart enough to see why, is Mickey. For him school meant less beatings at home for one but he also recognised the teachers extra interest in his intelligence. His growing charm and resilient attitude added to the attention and he privately enjoyed it. His small sister got the hand me downs of the affection too; if not at times patronising to the young growing girl, but she accepted them nonetheless. John and Jake, by no means illiterate, devoted their time to sports, especially football; that small round piece of material, resembling the hearts of many working class men and boys. John was great, Jake was gifted and repeatedly acquired championships for the team throughout the school years. They were heroes to their classmates and even the priests, who had hopes and dreams of their own for the boys. They knew of the light at the end of the tunnel and encouraged them to walk down it.

Seasons changed as did time but what remained consistent was the polluted air and the rumours of intentionally leakages of toxics in the water. The outer city areas pay an ugly penny for the trade-ship, as the ships arriving and leaving provide payment for the fruit and vegetables from the harvest, when the soil began killing the crops and the farmers struggling to produce a healthy spread; the business men decide it would be better to stop the arrangement, seize the local land and instead build factories creating food that would never go off, which meant neither would profit; a high rise in chronic obstructive pulmonary disease within the local communities was a small price to pay for the shareholders of the ever growing industrial revolutionists, and as the years passed, so did many people of the disease, with no preference, It took the old and the young.The children, even in the middle of a stale, steel time in life, blossom into the city's slum flowers, growing in the debris to soon become young adults. The final summer of the school year was approaching and with the boys turning 18 and Charlie celebrating her 16th birthday their lives were to change forever.

All the universities which Mickey applies for extend a letter of unconditional offer back to him, which brings with it joys and pain. His preferences are all far away from where he lives and with him being gone, Charlie is left alone at the mercy of their Father. They were not born into such violence but after the loss of their Mother twelve years before, the Father’s pain and shame turned to alcoholism and rage. With Charlie looking more like her Mum each day and Mickey's instinctive natural protection for his sister, over time the children sadly become the enemy to Mr Mathews. One evening at the end of summer, just before Mickey was set to leave for his studies, his young sister phones him up, with panic and despair in her voice. She tells the tale of how she is pregnant and her father has found out the secret and attacked her. Charlie explains how she escaped his wrath and ran quickly to her unborn baby’s Father, and that the unborn baby’s father is Jake; one of his oldest and closest friends. Charlie continues on how Jake got upset when he saw Charlie’s markings and went to confront her Father, much to her disagreement. The frightened, 16 year old School girl pleads with her older brother to go and intervene with the battle that was surely happening in their home.

A battle at the Bellerive family home was gradually building as John Senior along with his Wife spent many summer evenings at the bedside of their Son. It was subtle, yet his health was slowly decreasing. What started as a sore throat and extra muscle ache after football turned into profuse night sweats and extreme fatigue. The family fear John junior's health has become a product of their environment and call out the doctor with suspicions of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. The doctor returns to the Bellerive’s home within a few days holding results from tests taken and asks the family to sit down. John has tested positive, but not what they were expecting. For some months the teenager has been living with HIV. He would need treatment immediately to hinder the possibility of AIDS appearing. Although the doctor speaks the words of treatment, she along with the family know what obstacles lie ahead. The city and most of its citizens hold more of an anti-liberal stance. Medical treatment for a HIV positive patient, even one of their own, will cause disturbance.

Along the street, Mickey races against time to get to the aid of his friend. He knows all too well the actions of his Father when enraged and hopes he isn’t too late. Upon entering the house, Mickey first goes into the kitchen cupboard and checks the metal tin behind the empty cereal boxes and is relieved at what he finds. Picking up the contents of what’s in the tin, he makes his way to the living room where the loud voice of a game show host can be heard and the strong smell of alcohol and smoke present. His hand pushes open the half closed door and he clearly sees his Father’s large back facing him and his friend in between his Father’s chest and the wall. With a firm grip around Jake’s neck with his right hand and a smashed, sharp empty liquor bottle in his left, Mr Mathews is prepared to take the life of this young man who he feels has humiliated him. Mickey shouts over the television for his Dad to release his friend. This is met with a cruel laughter from his Father who informs Mickey that the young boy won’t see the light of day again and how little darling Charlie is up next. The left arm, holding the jagged bottle like a knife, begins to lift and then lower in the direction of the teenager's face. At the same time, In what feels like slow motion, but happens in a flash, Mickey makes a quick fire decision to orphan his sister, or have her baby be born with no Father. Knowing what Charlie would want, so without any hesitation, Mickey pulls the trigger of the gun in his hand; the one his Father had kept in a tin in their kitchen cupboard instead of food, and shoots the man with his back to him. His Father falls first to his knees and then fully to the ground, his limp hand dropping the bottle as he does. The room, still filled with the noise of the television and the vibration of the gun fire, seems to slip into a state of stillness and silence. The eyes meet of the two friends, and Jake steps over the dead body; This isn’t the first time either of them have seen a lifeless body, but this is the first one that has arisen such emotion. The boys embrace one another and begin to cry, fast and full tears fall onto them both as shock and terror binds them. Finally gaining composure Mickey tells Jake to get the smashed bottle from the floor and places it in a carrier bag with the gun. The two boys leave Mr Mathews on the floor with the smell of whiskey, cigarettes and the finishing credits of the program playing. Exiting through the back door and leaving it open, takes the boys onto the deserted back streets, they head to the one place that can offer them safety.

Around the time of the killing of Mr Mathews, Mr Bellerive finds himself in his own turmoil. He knows all too well the likely prejudice his young son will face for his life choices and the possible impact this can have on his health. He has spent all his life hearing and even repeating at times, the gossip that went with homosexuality. At that very moment John knew what he must do for his Son, and would stop at nothing until it was achieved. His life work as a Man of God and a Father was to be tested. Over time people kept their distance, whispers filled the post office and even Darla’s care home residents refused her care. The family’s determination to help their Son wasn’t shunned by all however, young John’s teachers and the Priests at school fight alongside the family for medical justice for him to get what he desperately needs.

Giant oak chapel doors with big brass handles lay at the side of the school. The boys have spent their childhood pushing and pulling their way through these large doors and this time as they walk into the main hall they know that childhood and laughter is long behind them. Walking towards the two, with his hands extended out in front, is the Head teacher of the School and St Luke’s Reverend, Christopher Peters. Although human just like the rest of us, Christopher, who is in his late 60’s, has spent his life doing what he believes is right by his community and sometimes holding onto secrets that are not is. This evening as he walks closer to his students' faces, seeing a picture of fear and upon hearing their story; with no details spared, he knows he must again make a decision on what he believes is right as the boys ask for his advice on the chaos that just unfolded. A calm, quiet moment follows the question as Reverend Peters sits with his eyes closed, he and the boys don’t move or speak for 10 minutes as his mind races with an answer to give the two shaken up teenagers. After consideration he asks Mickey to hand over the carrier bag containing the two weapons and to call his sister and ask her to make her way to the School. Next he tells the boys to clean themselves up and to meet him back in the main hall again once Charlie has arrived. It is easier for them to all know what must happen next, if they’re all together. When his sister appears Mickey tells her that her Father is dead and that it was he who shot him with his own gun. Charlie clutches to her big brother and starts sobbing. In between apologies for what she believes is her fault, she thanks him for saving the life of their friend and her loved one. Charlie tells her brother, if she had known of the gun sooner, she would have killed her Father a long time ago herself and that she would take the blame for this killing. The siblings hold one another in a tender hug of solidarity, like they had many times before. Jake proclaims that his sweetheart and Mother to be would do no such thing and he himself, will confess to the murder of Mr Mathews. As the three friends began to cry out that they all are to blame and won’t let the others suffer, Christopher Peters tries too tame the situation. He has for them an alternative idea if they all agree. The plan is to Marry young Charlie and Jake that evening with Mickey bearing witness. He explains how they came to him with the news of the secret pregnancy and was in fear to tell Charlie's Father the news. They asked the priest to marry the couple in confidential to possibly help with sharing the news to the angry Mr Mathews, which they would do following the wedding. After this, the young girl would return home and find her Father's dead body and call the Police to report it. When the police arrive at the scene and take the upset girls statement, she would state herself, along with her brother and friend, where at the church all afternoon getting ready for the secret wedding and that Reverend Christopher Peters can confirm the story. This is exactly what happened. The reputation of Mr Mathews temper and his drunk fights over the years created quite a list of possible suspects although no one ever charged as no weapon was ever discovered.

Just days later Mickey leaves his home city and young sister as he moves into his University dorm ready to start his higher education. His surroundings become fresh, even if his memories are still darkened. His Sister Charlie moves into the high-rise flat of fleeing humans, to live with Jake and his Mother, who is shocked but excited at the news of being a Grandmother for the first time. With her Son Jakub being asked to join one of the best semi professional football teams in the Country, Lena spends less time at work and more time at home assisting with the needs of her son's young wife, who continues her studies throughout pregnancy. It has been a while since Lena’s maternal affections have been on show and it fills the home with Love that was once absent. Across the park, John Bellerive Junior, not without a fight, begins his treatment with his loving family by his side and his close friends on hand.

Each night Christopher Peters enters his chambers alone, takes off his religious uniform and lies in his bed, he accepts that one day he will or will not have to answer for his own commitment to Justice. Correct or not in the eyes of the law, God or others, he goes to sleep believing that what he did was right, for the sake of the Children and their innocence.