6 Ways to Discipline Your Child Without Raising Your Voice

Why are you screaming at the baby? Does it help you?

How do you feel after screaming at the little one?

Did your parents yell at you? If so, how did you feel?

Do you think that the little one will understand better and correct his behavior if you talk to him loudly and loudly?

What do you prefer, the child to listen to you out of fear or respect?

Try to answer these questions and you will realize that things will not go well with screams. Of course, we are human and our emotions take over, especially when we have a very demanding and stressful schedule, we are angry or burdened with problems and the little one is stubborn to do everything the other way around, is capricious, makes a mess in the house or insists on listening to him. concerns, which from his point of view are the most important.

When you scream you feel cool and things start to get better. Everyone starts listening to you and they are tidy. But is that so?

What most people think happens when they shout:

• They cool down and discharge emotionally.

• Screaming is an alternative to behavioral correction.

• The child becomes disciplined and begins to listen to the older ones.

• The child is aware that he is not kidding with the parent and next time he will avoid repeating the mistake.

• The adult gains authority over the child.

• The adult thinks this is for the good of the child.

What's going on:

• The adult gets even angrier.

• After the quarrel, the father faces remorse - these are more important things than, for example, the clothes soiled with sauce. The washing machine has removed the stain, but the emotions after the quarrel leave deep traces.

• The child becomes stressed and begins to face certain fears, becomes nervous, aggressive, and complex.

• Bad habits in the family. It is a vicious circle through which everyone solves their problem by raising their voice to the others. Later, the child will shout at his parents.

• Problems are not solved, they are amplified. Usually, children, under stress, tend to do the opposite: either because they protest or out of fear.

• The scream does not mean authority but is a sign that the adult has lost control. When he shouts at the child, the parent does not gain authority over the child but intimidates him. Fear is not equal to respect.

Suppose a child hits his brother, and the parent starts yelling at him for it. In this situation, the screaming will not help the child to understand that he did something wrong but will intimidate him. So, instead of scaring the child, the parent should help him to manage his behavior and emotions.

Here's how to discipline your child without yelling at him or her:

Set clear rules

You will avoid screaming if you set clear rules for household responsibilities. If necessary, you can create a list of household rules and display it in a visible place.

Determine the consequences in time

Explain to the child in advance the negative consequences of breaking the rules. Eliminate certain privileges or use rational punishments to help the child learn from his mistakes.

• If you don't do your homework before dinner, there won't be a cartoon before bed.

"If you don't tidy your room, we won't go to the amusement park."

You will see that the little one will choose to be disciplined and you will not have to waste your effort screaming.

However, the consequences that work well for one child may not work for another. Therefore, it is good to establish what is important for the child and go to compromise. However, be careful that this approach does not take the form of blackmail. That is why it is good for everyone to know their responsibilities and rights.

Find positive ways to motivate yourself

If there are consequences in the family for breaking the rules, there should be rewards for following them. Motivate your child to follow the rules using positive emotional rewards, from applause to hugs.

Praise your child for following the rules. Tell her, "It's good that you did your homework as soon as you got home. I'm proud of you". You can praise him for certain facts in front of other children or friends, making sure the little one hears the conversation.

So find a reason to motivate your child to do good things every day. Try to create a reward system, which I wrote about here. In short, make a table with all the tasks and assessments entered daily and put it in a visible place so that the little one notices his progress.

Find out why you screamed at the baby

If you find that you often scream at your child, try to understand why you are reacting this way. If you've been upset and your child is a kind of lightning rod, you need to learn some strategies to calm down and manage your anger.

Domestic problems stay at home, those at work - at work. Delimit these two roles. And if you're too upset, take a break. Go to the park, or at least lock yourself in your room to order your thoughts alone.

If you're yelling at your child for not listening to you or for making serious noise, try taking a break. You won't solve anything at that point anyway. Shouts often lead to a power struggle. The more you yell at the child to do something, the more stubborn he will be to oppose it. It is best to wait until you are calm and then make a clear plan about how to talk to your child and what steps to take to correct inappropriate behavior.

Prove that you are consistent and have a clear position

Keep your word. If you decide to ban your computer for 24 hours, you will not have to give it up, but apply the penalty.

Consistency must be on both sides. If one of the parents has decided on a form of punishment, the other will have to support it. It is serious when the mother, for example, forbids computer games, and the father, overwhelmed by the child's flattery, allows it. In this way, the child manipulates the adults and can even put them in a situation of conflict.

Talk to the child

If the little one made a mistake, explain to him what the consequences are and how his mistake makes you feel. Do this without nerves, accusations, labeling, or threats. Talk quietly, without undermining or ridiculing the situation. Ask your child how he or she feels after making a mistake.

Children try to understand the world around them and to know themselves. They mistakenly discover the world around them. That's why they need the help of their parents. You will have to explain to him step by step, firmly and in his understanding, what the mistake was, what he should do in the future in a similar situation.

Explain to them what your expectations are without imposing certain things on them - this is very important.