Fiction

Just look at me.
"Just look at me. I wish I remembered what happened to me." I was sitting on a blanket with my child and all of a sudden a big something came after me. "I kind of remember sharp teeth, but who did the teeth belong to I wondered. While looking around I saw my kid who seemed to have tears running down her face and all I could not help her. What was happening to me and the sharp teeth. They did hurt, but I knew that my kid well I hoped would start yelling just a little louder. Mommy help!
By Mark Grahamabout a year ago in Critique
Just look at me 2
Mommy came a running out of the house and yelled at the thing that had me with its' teeth. The thing dropped me right then and I saw that my leg seemed to have a hole, and I felt funny a few other places too. The mommy and my kid were now going into the house and the mommy was getting ready to do something. I hope whatever doesn't hurt. My kid started to smile a little and mommy said "Mr. Bear should be good as new in a few days and we will check his hurts in a bit."
By Mark Grahamabout a year ago in Critique
Wyoming
Here is my critique on 'Wyoming' the third installment of the Wagons West series by Dana Fuller Ross. This part of the series picks up when the wagon train is just about to enter the Rocky Mountains right in time for the winter season. Whip, Cathy, and all the others will have to learn how to survive the season and how to deal when one feels 'cabin fever' along with meeting a few new people joining the train. There is on woman who can see the future at times, as well as two that come up from California way. There are various relationships that will see differences during this winter season in a place named Little Valley. The train is very close to their objective now.
By Mark Grahamabout a year ago in Critique
Where Are We Going?!
"Where do you think you're taking me?" he said. Just want to share that my arm is really hurting. "Can you hear me?" "I do not think this adult can understand me." I know I was out in the yard a long time, and I hope you are taking me back to my kid. I really miss him. Bear and adult kept walking and walking. Bear looked around and around no kid yet. The adult said something, and my kid came out of the house and a big smile was on his face so big that I smiled at him.
By Mark Grahamabout a year ago in Critique
Why me?! 2
Yes, I am still here on this post. Wait, I hear a car. I try to turn my head, but I can't for I am stuffed. I hear voices and it is my kid. He sees me and he says he is sorry for leaving so abruptly. He said he had to go to the dentist for a checkup and he smiles and says, "No cavities!" My mom was in a rush, and I didn't have time to untie you for I could have used you at the dentists' office. He untied me, hugged me and went in the house.
By Mark Grahamabout a year ago in Critique
Why me?
Oh! why me. Why is it always me that gets into these kinds of predicaments. Well, I guess I better share how I got here. I was picked up my kid and he said, "I have a game to play." We ran around for a while he said a few lines and Bang, bang his toy gun went off. The next thing he was tying me to this post and here I am. I wish he would hurry back, but he and his mom jumped in the care and off they went. Hope they get here soon I'm getting stiff.
By Mark Grahamabout a year ago in Critique
Hey, Look At Me!
Betcha, you are thinking why am I hanging here on this line by my ears. Well, I am going to tell you in a very short story. This afternoon I was with my kid, and we went for a walk. It was a beautiful day, so he decided to walk down his mothers' garden path, when he saw that she was watering her vegetables. Wouldn't you know it my kid did not see the puddle in the middle of path and slipped and down we went. His mom saw, laughed and hosed us off and hung me out to dry.
By Mark Grahamabout a year ago in Critique
Sitting Bear 3
It's me again. I'm going to finish my tale. Me and my boy walked to this small lake to go fishing, then he forgot his lunch, but he did come back, he ate and shared with me, then he caught a fish and smiled a lot. He put the big fish in something to keep it and he picked me up and we went home. He shared his fishing trip with his mom who cleaned the fish and said this would be great for dinner tonight. My boy was so proud and I could tell so was his mom now.
By Mark Grahamabout a year ago in Critique
Sitting Bear 2
My owner came back and he brought lunch for himself. I am not really real so I cannot partake of his sandwich, but he will pretend to give me some. It does look good though. Before he (we) ate he prepared his fishing rod and through in the line. He said that he likes to use doughballs to catch fish. I looked for that is really the only thing that I can do. He's very quiet for a little while then it happens, he catches a fish and it's a big one. He has a big smile on his face.
By Mark Grahamabout a year ago in Critique
Sitting Bear
I bet you are all wondering what I am doing here sitting on this what looks like an old branch about to break away. Well, it is not a branch, and I am sitting on an old wooden dock waiting for my person to come back for he said we were going fishing and that he forgot something, and he would be right back. That was a little while ago and I am getting a little worried that he forgot about me. I hear something coming I hope it's him. Branches and grasses crunching and then I see him there.
By Mark Grahamabout a year ago in Critique
Waiting!?
Who really likes to wait on things? My name is Teddy, and I like to swing, but I have to wait for my little kid to come back from getting his snack his mommy wants to give him. I hope he comes back soon I miss him. I think he is coming back now and there is a lollipop sticking out of his mouth. I hope he doesn't make my fur all sticky with that thing. Here he is and gives me one big push and WEEEEEE! That was fun now hope he joins me on the swing mommy pushes.
By Mark Grahamabout a year ago in Critique
It's me again.
Look into my eyes what do you see or what do you think you see? I know that my eyes are brown, and I believe that most bears' eyes are brown. Could I be thinking about something? I was thinking about going to the river for dinner and a bath, but that is a dream of mine for I am a teddy bear not a real bear and teddy bears really do not eat or drink, but we do dream about things, and we make great listeners for our owners even though at times our owners talk too much now.
By Mark Grahamabout a year ago in Critique