Dialogue
A YA Story Looking for Input
*** This is basically an excerpt from a YA/Upper Middle grade story looking for critique.*** My main questions would be - from the perspective of a reader of this genre - does the story grab your attention? What needs to be added to make it more interesting? And, of course, if you notice any grammatical errors or clumsy sentences, feel free to point them out also. Add any critiques to the comment section, or PM if you would like it to be kept more quiet.
By KJ Aartila2 years ago in Critique
Builderall 5.0 vs. Rapid Profit Machine: Choosing the Perfect Digital Marketing Duo
In the ever-evolving landscape of digital marketing, having the right tools at your disposal can make all the difference in achieving success. Two powerful contenders that have been gaining traction are Builderall 5.0 and Rapid Profit Machine (RPM). These platforms promise to transform your digital marketing endeavors and take your business to new heights. In this comprehensive guide, we'll delve into the features, benefits, and user experiences of Builderall 5.0 and Rapid Profit Machine, helping you make an informed choice for your digital marketing needs.
By XcellentWrite2 years ago in Critique
A Sapphic Story I wrote in 2008
Carol Patience sighed as her back was fixed against the purple sheets on the bed. The seventeen year old thought it was a very strange way to celebrate her birthday. Lying on her bed, semi naked whilst her girlfriend, was somewhere around the flat. Carol stood up and stared at herself at the rectangle shaped mirror on the wall. She certainly noticed that her changes from two years ago. Never would she have thought that she would have a girlfriend, around twice her age. Carol was fourteen when she first met Grace Butterfly, after being bit by a snake and found her self out of planet earth.
By Chloe Gilholy2 years ago in Critique
A Christmas Story Review
Since the Holidays are coming up, I thought I’d review a film which I think is perfectly appropriate for the occasion. And what better title to review than the timeless classic known as “A Christmas Story”? Since this movie was released in the year I was born in, this is yet another film that I’ve known pretty much my whole life. And I have seen this movie at least several times during my childhood. Now, what made this movie so special is that it wasn't really a Christmas story as the title implies, but rather, it was a drama with a few moments of humor here and there. And once you start watching it, you will quickly realize this isn’t your typical Christmas themed movie. It doesn’t revolve around the legend of Santa Claus and the myth about him traveling across the world to bring toys to children. No, this is a more realistic story that tells us that sometimes what we want isn’t really what we need. Originally released November 18th, 1983, this film is set in the 1940s, long before the time of the film's release, and long before digital age which we live in today. Anyway, the story in this film is basically a drama story told in the form of a narration by Ralphie when he has come of age, as he shares his childhood experiences with the audience about what happened to him on that particular day during the Holiday season. And needless to say, it was a Christmas that he would remember for a VERY long time. And let me tell you, this movie sure has left quite an impression on me that lasted for just as long. I watched this movie 30 years ago as a kid. And 30 years later, it’s high time I did a review of it. Though, keep in mind, I haven’t seen this movie in ages despite that I remember very specific parts of it by heart. So forgive me if some or all of these scenes are not in the correct order.
By Kylecovey Smith2 years ago in Critique
Fiction Critique Request
I woke to a lot of changes on Vocal again. I was not on Vocal a lot yesterday, Thursday, so I didn't see the new communities, Writers, Chapters, BookClub, and, Critique announced until today. I Only just found out the winners were announced for the Pitch Your Pilot Challenge. I didn't place - that's fine!
By Paul Stewart2 years ago in Critique
Requesting the Ultimate Critical Thoughts of Others.
Remembering the life that I led the controlling asshole who took everything from me. I don’t know what I will do with all this, it feels like nothing really mattered just getting out of there. All of my dreams had come true like the blink of an eye, writing my memoirs is what started it all. Finding the courage to leave Logan County, Florida. It wasn’t until Uncle Elijah died the many years of therapy that would follow me all the days of my life.
By Emily Curry (Rising Phoenix)2 years ago in Critique



