HERO COMPLEX

I had a hero complex. Maybe it stemmed from my battle with my own trauma and how I was

able to conquer it. So, when I met a person, and I saw figments of my previous traumatized self

in them, I couldn’t help but feel the need to intervene. I used to get this tingle, like a spidey-

sense, that they needed someone. Its not like I went searching for them, but they always seemed

to find me.

I am a firm believer in change, basing on the fact that if I was able to reinvent myself, it would

be condescending of me to believe that nobody else can. So, I always went down the same rabbit

hole, I meet a girl, she tells me her life story, I dub her “in need of rescue”, and so it begins.

Don’t get me wrong, I genuinely love to help people deal with stuff, so when someone bares

their soul out to me, I feel obliged to get them out of that dark place and lead them to the light at

the end of the tunnel just like I did. Like a tree shedding leaves only to grow back stronger.

But as I have matured and indulged in numerous experiences, I’ve understood that heroes only

exist in fiction. There’s a saying, “When a blind man sees, the first thing he’ll throw away is the

stick that helped him walk”. Helping people is not a bad thing per se, but in most cases, only we

can truly save ourselves.

Take the itsy-bitsy spider for example, as a kid I didn’t really understand the message behind it,

but now I know it was meant to teach us to get up and keep going regardless of what has

happened in our lives. Another key aspect from the nursery rhyme is that, no one helped the

spider climb the spout after the rain, it did so on its own.

Utilizing that same logic, I realize that in real life, the only heroes that exist are those that have

risen and saved themselves. You can only offer the bricks, but they must build the house. Getting

someone back on their feet does not entitle you to their love, devotion or anything in return. You

either help from the goodness of your heart, or don’t do anything at all, simply listen. I learnt this

the hard way. And in that life lesson, I found peace.