Today

The day started as every other day. She woke up, too sweaty to even breath. Her skin shining under the morning sun that was almost inside the tiny Chicago apartment. Her fingers brushed gently the flower that was sitting patiently next to the window. Next to it was an old black notebook. The black cover was teared on many places. The pages half ripped inside. The only thing that was left from her past. The only evidence that somewhere before, years and years she existed. Maybe under a different name, working a different job, dating different guy, but she did exist. Somewhere between times maybe. The warm water hugged her tiny body.

-Zara? -someone yelled.

But this isn’t her name. Or maybe it was?! The front door opened and closed. It was probably him. She was hoping it was him. The guy who she met the night before and wasn’t important enough to even remember his name. She took the purple towel sitting next to her and put her hair inside. Her phone rang loudly somewhere from the kitchen.

-Oh, I am so glad I caught you. Listen.. The police called me. They have more information about your case! -his voice was old, tired. -I can give them a call if you don’t want to do this anymore.. But the thing is I am waiting for you downstairs right this second. -he laughed.

Her short, blonde hair fell freely through the window. The old man was looking in her direction, waving his abnormally big fingers at her. She wasn’t sure why he asked her, It’s not like she had a choice. Not with him. Since the accident he was more like her father, her only family rather than her psychologist. She appreciated him so much, maybe even too much, but he deserved it.

-It’s still not 100% sure if you know what I mean. -he kept talking in the taxi. -Maybe what I am trying to say is don’t get your hopes high…

The girl kept staring at her purple dress. The first thing she brought herself. Her white bag was sitting next to her, she unzipped it and triple checked if her black notebook was inside.

After she woke up from her accident, the doctors told her that she has only 12% chance of remembering anything from her life. She didn’t know her name, her age, if she had any family or friends or maybe a lover or a dog. But deep down she wasn’t scared, she was profoundly calm. Something that even the doctors were surprised with. Next to her hospital bed was sitting the notebook. Nobody seemed to remember anything about it. When she opened it inside was a yellow envelope full with money. $20,000 exactly. No one knew where it came from. The only people that came and went in her hospital room were the doctors and her psychiatrist. She got Henry assigned to her case. And for 8 weeks after their first meeting she kept calling him Harry.

He gave her the idea of giving herself a new name instead of being called Jane Doe. But she thought that this was quite boring, so she decided not to. And every time she met someone new, she would give a different name. And like that every time she had a new identity, every morning she had a fresh start. Henry loved the idea, making names for her every time he saw her. For the official documents she gave the name Samantha Sage, and she was using the name the most, but when meeting new people she would give the first name that came to her mind. She liked that game, maybe because she hoped that one day she will meet someone who will recognize her, give her back the name she was born with. But as this was her biggest dream, it was her biggest fear too. Since she woke up from the coma, she had this bad feeling crawling in her spine like a tiny spider stuck under her skin. She shouldn’t know who she was. Ever. She wasn’t sure why or from where this feeling was coming. But she didn’t want to find out either, so it just stood there on the back of her head, inside her legs, inside her veins that feeling that was crawling every minute, every second.

The taxi stopped. Henry paid the guy and held the door for her to get out. The only living and breathing gentleman left in the world. The person who met them was this extremely handsome man, who kept staring at his fingers. Maybe he was shy or maybe he just started this job?! He invited Henry and Sam inside a room. No windows, just four walls, a metal table and four chairs that didn’t know their age. He instructed them to wait so he could call his captain.

-Can i get you any coffee? Water maybe? -he asked before leaving the room, his face was now very red. He looked at her and smiled awkwardly.

After 20 minutes, an older guy came into the room. Sat down and placed a laptop in front of them. Samantha couldn’t see what it was saying on it. She was trying to avoid even looking. She kept her eyes on the man in front of her. His face was quite young. His eyes had million stories to tell if someone asked. He kept talking, but the words couldn’t reach her. They were going through her like bullets. She noticed the look he was giving her. The pity look, she called it. The look that said: ‘She is so young to go through such trauma.’ The look that she kept receiving the first couple of weeks of her new life.

-So you want to tell me that you wasted our time, with something that you could've told me on the phone? -Henry was angry now. His face looks funny when he gets angry. Looks like it’s going to crack any second now. -When i got a call this morning, they told me that you might’ve found who she is. That’s what I was told. -his voice started rising.

-I am profoundly sorry about the misunderstanding, Mr. Beck, really, but there is nothing that me or any of us can do about this.

It wasn’t something she wasn’t prepared for. She had accepted the fact that she would never know who she was. She didn’t want to know who she was. But Henry was insisting, even though he knew that the truth would never come out. Ever.

While Henry was yelling at someone on his phone, Samantha was waving at the taxi that stopped immediately next to her. She pushed Henry inside, kissed his cheek for goodbye and closed the door. The car disappeared. She started walking towards the theater that was only fifteen good minutes walk from the police station. The summer weather was too good to be missed.

The cello was her newfound love, or maybe it was an old sweetheart of hers. She wasn’t sure but she didn’t mind not knowing as long as it gave her the right peace of mind in her chaotic brain.

-Cello Concerto in A minor, Op.33. -the woman smiled. It felt like some kind of code that only them two knew.

The melody just started flowing above the high ceiling, going through the thick walls in the small room. Music that can make every deaf person hear again, and every blind person see again. The door made an excruciating sound that made the girl stop in the middle of the piece. Her eyes focused on the man sitting next to the door, his face still red from earlier.

-I am really sorry, I didn't mean to disturb. -he said and looked awkwardly.

-It’s okay, darling. Sammy, take five. -the teacher said and left the room.

-I.. -he crossed the room and now was standing in front of her. -I don’t know what made me do this, but.. I was on my break and saw you going inside. -he laughed. -I honestly swear, I have no idea what happened, felt like some kind of power took over my body and I just had to come inside. My name is Peter Grennan, we erm.. meet earlier in the police station.

Sam was now laughing, her cheeks slightly blushed.

-Well, I am already here and I already made myself look like a total idiot so I’m just gonna ask. Would you like to grab a drink with me? Not now of course I still need to go back to work, but maybe like Saturday? -he couldn’t stop talking, and every word was said faster and faster. She shook her head with approval.

-I am Samantha. -she said in return. That was the first time she told her real name to someone she didn’t know. -And i would love to grab a drink with you.