The Mystery of the Missing Teacup Poodle

Prologue

The Max Flummox series revolves around flummoxed private detective Max Flummox, who has attention deficit disorder, and his bumbling but loyal assistant Benny Bloop, who is prone to malapproprisms and getting himself into awkward situations. They investigate mysteries, hoping to give those who need it a boost.

Here are links to the other two stories in this series, targeted at the young and young-at-heart.

Part 1: Mrs. Vanderpuff

Private Investigator Max Flummox, in his rosewood-furnished office, began his day by spreading a few cases all over his desk.

A man of good taste, Max’s office was expensive, to say the least. In one of New England’s most expensive districts, Max had filled it with fine rosewood furniture, each chair and table intricately carved.

The supreme sleuth didn’t know which one to begin with, so his ADD-powered brain came up with a solution - all of them.

“Mr. Sam Smith was in the grocery store at 10 a.m., so it couldn’t have been him….”

“Who could’ve accompanied Ms. Flora Flower to the garden?”

And his mind skimmed over a few more.

“Surely Barney Butcher couldn’t have been the one who stole the steak!”

His scattered mind went over each until there was a knock on the door. As his equally scattered assistant, Benny Bloop, opened it, it swung backwards and hit him on the head.

“Benny…” Max sighed. He’d hire another assistant if this one wasn’t so ready to do as he asked.

“You have a visitor, sir. A Mrs Eloise Vanderfluff? Vanderhuff? Vandermuff?”

“Vanderpuff, silly man. I was expecting her. Please let her in.”

A finely dressed lady, whom one could only assume was a socialite, entered his office, distressed written all over her face.

“Yes, Ma’am. Do you need the services of a private detective? I am Max Flummox, PI, and this is my - “ he glanced at Benny who was wrestling again with the tape recorder- “capable assistant, Benny Bloop. Benny, please.” He gave his bumbling assistant a nudge.

Benny finally unravelled the tape recorder, and the interview began.

“My teacup poodle, Fluffington, has mysteriously vanished. He is usually in his five-star kennel, but it was empty the last time I checked.” She sounded frantic. “I need your help to look for him. He only eats reindeer and certain types of caviar.”Her voice trailed amidst tears. “Mr. Flummox. Mr. Flummox!”

“Eh?” Max said,his ADD causing him to forget to ask crucial questions and instead inspect the dog memorabilia Mrs. Vanderpullf had brought with her. “Sorry, Mrs. Vanderpuff. I was interested in the information you have in your bag. It may give hints about where Fluffington might be.”

“My husband, as you can surmise, is worth some money. Do you think-”

“We’ll certainly find that out. I can see from the pamphlets in your bag that Fluffington secured the top prize in the New England dog show! Congratulations!” He chorused heartily, then reverted to professional mode. “We’ll need to question the dog owners who took part in the dog show, especially those whose dogs came in second and third in the event. Fluffington clinching the top prize makes him a target for jealousy.”

“I want a quick resolution. Please don’t disappoint me,” She eyed him carefully. “Fluffington’s practically family.”

“Don’t worry, Mrs. Vanderhuff.” Benny chimed in with his typical bumbling faux pas. “Max is one of the best in the private eye business. And he has me to help him!” He cried, sticking his chest out.

“It’s Vanderpuff. I hope I haven’t made a mistake.” She shook her head. “Please find out who has got him.”

Max nodded. “We’ll be visiting your home to install a bug in your telephone and answering machine in about an hour. Go home and let us know if you receive odd calls or ransom demands.”

The refined woman left the room, shaking her head.

Part 2: Benny, the Bug and the Dognapper

Mrs. Vanderpuff’s home fit into the expensive district where she lived. With arched windows and manicured green lawns, its whitewashed walls were characteristic of the expensive homes in the area.

Benny struggled with one of Max’s newly acquired wire taps. It was too small for his rather large hands; he kept dropping it on the floor, and Max grew flummoxed trying to pick it up each time he did.

Mrs. Vanderpuff’s butler, named Mani, poured them cups of hot tea. “Have a drink, sir,” He said, politely, almost servile, in a thick rich, almost Bohemian accent. He made the quintessential helper.

They finally fit it into the receiver and waited for calls, particularly any related to Fluffington. After waiting for a few hours, with Mrs. Vanderpuff pacing and clicking her tongue impatiently, a call came.

“Eloise Fluffington?” A distorted, thick, accented male voice came over the phone.

“Yes, this is she.” She whispered into the phone tensely.

“We have Fluffington. We will give you further instructions to deliver $100000 to us. Wait for our call.”

The receiver on the other end of the line clicked.

“What do we do?” Mrs. Vandepuff sobbed. “Fluffington needs to eat. I’m sure they won’t feed him.”

“Don’t worry, Mrs. Vandermuff. Max will think of a way to locate them, “ Benny tried his best to be assuring.

Max, distracted by a paw print on a newspaper, finally broke his reverie after realising that it was just Fluffington’s and had nothing to do with the case. “We’ll need to interview the second and third place winners of the New England dog show Fluffington won. Mrs. Vanderpuff, would you have their addresses?”

After she scribbled names and addresses on a blank piece of paper, Max and Benny prepared to leave her home. “Thanks, Mrs. Vanderkuff,” Benny was ever-polite.

“It’s Vanderpuff!!! Fluffington’s disappearance and Benny’s constant plays on her name had taken the toll on the wealthy socialite. “Mani, show them the door.”

Benny blushed. Mani, wearing shoes wet with dog shampoo, closed the door behind them eagerly.

Part 3 : Who Dognapped Fluffington?

Max and Benny started the daunting task of interviewing and eliminating potential suspects from their list. They first began with third-place-winner Mr. Bob Benji.

They quickly arrived at Mr. Benji’s home, which reminded onlookers of the Taj Mahal. With ornate pillars adorned with intricate floral carvings and a dome for a roof, it was luxury at its best.

The detectives got straight to the point.

Mr. Benji, an Indian national, was too glad to share the information he had when Benny pressed him for details.

“Yes,” he began a short tale in a very heavy, accented tone. “I heard about the great Fluffington.” The sarcastic stress on the word “great” caused Benny to raise an eyebrow and arms to release a tape he was carrying.

“You’re a bumbling buffoon.” Max chided.

“Sorry, sir, “ Benny was sheepish.

“Oops,” He retrieved the tape and continued interviewing Mr. Benji. “Did you witness anyone taking a particular interest in the dog?’ Max’s assistant eyed him meaningfully.

“Er..no. I don’t think so.” Mr. Benji shifted uncomfortably.

Amid this was Max, who had noted a pamphlet that read “New England Dog Fashion Parade.” His ADD-riddled brain fixated on the idea that Eloise Vanderpuff may have registered Fluffington’s participation. He excitedly put it in his pocket, having seen a similar pamphlet among the memorabilia Eloise Vanderpuff took with her to his office the day she told him about Fluffington being missing. Perhaps this had a connection to the dog’s disappearance.

They concluded the interview and conferred in Max’s car. “I believe Mrs. Vanderpuff had registered her participation in the New England Dog Fashion Parade. Benny, look into this as soon as we return to the office.”

“But sir,” Benny cut in. “Didn’t you notice Mr. Benji’s Indian accent? Remember our tape recording?”

“Ah. I see what you mean. Good work, Benny. You may bumble, but you are sharp. We can’t draw any conclusions, though. Not until we interview the second-place winner.”

Part 4: Of Dogs and Dog Breeds

They next headed to the home of dog breeder Mr. Rowena Chilton and her poodle, Duffy, which had come in second in the New England Dog Show. This was a spacious landed property; although not as fine as the others the detectives visited earlier, the sheer space alone hinted at someone with great wealth.

Duffy, with her uncut paw nails, scratched Benny in greeting. Max’s faithful assistant jumped around Mr. Chopra’s living room, emitting clownish shrieks.

“Your Doodle’s nails are too sharp!” He grumbled.

“Poodle, silly. What can I do for you?” Mr. Chilton spoke with an odd accent was as thick as Mr. Benji’s. It didn’t escape Max’s notice.

“Perhaps you have heard that Fluffington, Mrs. Vanderpuff’s prized Doodle -” Max immediately corrected himself -”Poodle is missing. Could you shed some light on the matter?”

“No, I’m afraid not.” Mr. Chopra shook his head. He appeared highly defensive. “The lady is both rich and pompous. Anyone could have taken the dog.”

“Including yourself,” Benny cut in.

“Young man, I don’t like that accusation at all. Now, I’m busy. Please leave.

He pushed Max and Benny out of the door and slammed it behind him.

Part 5: Putting it together

“It’s all so frustrating,” he said, trying as usual to unravel the tape recordings of their suspects and replace them in their cassettes. Long reams of tape lay on the table.

“We know that the dog napper speaks with a queer accent,” Max paced about the room. He began to hyperfocus, and Benny tactfully continued trying to reinsert the reams of recorded tape back into its cassette.

After an hour, a lightbulb shone above Max’s head. “Benny, I know who has Fluffington. And we should have thought about him all along. Let’s pay Mrs. Vanderpuff another visit.”

Benny willingly obliged.

Part 6: Now, who has Fluffington?

They arrived at Mrs. Vanderpuff’s home, with its well-manicured lawn, to witness Mani sweeping up some leaves.

“Come inside, my good man. You’ll want to hear who has your mistress’s beloved Fluffington.”

Mrs. Vanderpuff walked into the hall, her eyes red. The otherwise temperamental socialite had been shedding more than a few tears. “Yes, who? Please retrieve my dog!”

“We will indeed. But we’ll need the help of Mani here.” He patted the butler on the shoulder. He faced the butler decisively. “Mani, perhaps you can tell us where the poor little dog is.”

The abrupt question stopped Mrs. Vanderpuff’s tears. “How would he know?”

“Although Mr. Chilton and Mr. Benji both speak with thick accents, and have the motive of ousting the competition, no one has more access to the dog than he does. Besides, do smell his shoes.”

“Not that I want to,” Mrs. Vanderpuff said. “But now that you mention it, they do have the recent scent of dog shampoo. Mani, where’s my dog?”

Mani stuttered, expectedly, in a dense accent that was a little difficult to comprehend. “Ma’am, have mercy. I only wanted money for my family.”

“Well, you’ll be going home to your family. Please pack. I’m calling the employment agency.”

Mani left the room, well, with his tail between his legs.

Part 7: Max’s Next Case

Mrs. Vanderpuff, carrying a newly returned Fluffington, stood at her door, ready to bid Max and Benny goodbye. “Thank you so much, Mr. Flummox. You have my references. In fact -” She gave Max a piece of paper with a scribbled number. “Mrs. Dotty Fairweather has a troubling situation at hand. Her prized Russian Doll collection has gone missing from the display cabinet in her living room. Perhaps you can give her a hand.”

“Ah,” Max nodded. “Thanks Mrs. Vanderpuff. We’ll give her a call.”

“Goodbye, Mrs. Vanderduff.” Benny drawled with a yawn.

Mrs. Vanderpuff laughed. “It’s Vanderpuff. Vanderpuff, young man. But I have Fluffington, so I don’t mind.”

Everyone chortled.