The Deep Secret

“Jason, don’t forget your backpack! I can’t get another call about your missing assignments. I have enough to worry about!” Mom yelled from the kitchen.

“I’ve got it…” I muttered from under my breath. She’s been relentless lately. Ever since Dad disappeared. It’s like she’s replaced the void of him being gone with an incessant need to monitor my every move.

You see, just last week my dad went missing. No one seems to know what happened to him. There was no note, no call, nothing. Mom thinks he abandoned us and isn’t coming back, but something in my gut tells me she’s wrong. Things between my parents weren’t so good before his disappearance. They were fighting a lot and Dad was acting strangely. He was coming home late almost every night and on edge in a way I hadn’t seen before. It was like I didn’t really know him anymore.

The cops have been by the house a few times to talk to us since he went missing last week and they don’t seem to have any leads. Aside from his car being gone, there are no signs of him having actually gone anywhere. No phone calls or outgoing messages, no signs of his license plate on any cameras or bridges, no activity from his debit or credit cards. How does someone just disappear into thin air?

I don’t know why my mom even expects me to go to school right now. Are we just supposed to forget that Dad is missing?

I let out a big sigh as I opened the front door, barely making it in time to sprint across the damp grass to the end of the driveway where the bus was patiently waiting for me. I bustled through the rows of already seated kids back to an empty seat against the window and watched my house fade away into the distance. With my head against the cool glass, I closed my eyes, just for a moment, trying desperately to forget about the last few days, praying that when I opened them again things would be normal…whatever that meant. Nothing was normal about what was going on.

When the bus arrived at school, I stepped out, but something stopped me from proceeding through the doors. How could I just sit idly by and wait for an answer that may never come? Couldn’t I at least try and figure out where Dad went? There’s got to be something left behind that could tell us where he is.

I turned quickly to the right and began running back toward the house. Thankfully home was only about a mile from school. Easy enough by foot. As I approached the house, I ducked quickly behind a set of boxwoods to avoid my mom’s gaze as she backed out of the driveway. Close call.

When she was far enough down the road, I ran and unlocked the front door, slamming it quickly behind me. Something about skipping school always made me paranoid. Like she “knew” I wasn’t at school and would come blaring home in her Jeep to read me the riot act. Get yourself together Jason…

Now where to even begin? Dad worked for an accounting firm in town. He didn’t have much of a home office, just some scattered personal and business files mixed with moms in a room in the back of the house. I guess I could start there. I rummaged into the back room, hoping and praying that something would provide a clue as to where he could have gone. With most of his personal items (car, phone, keys) having gone with him, there wasn’t much hope of finding anything significant. Not to mention the cops had already looked here. Why am I even bothering?

I threw down some papers and turned aggressively toward the window, tears starting to flow down my face, and stubbed my toe on the heat grate on the floor.

“Dammit!” I yelled out in pain. I looked down and noticed the grate had slid sideways out of alignment with the duct. “What the...” I crouched down on my hands and knees to put it back in place and spotted at the bottom what appeared to be a small black notebook. I reached down and grabbed it. It was clean and smooth to the touch. Considering it was at the bottom of an air duct it looked remarkably unscathed.

I opened it up not expecting much. It was probably just a piece of office supply that slipped down the vent when Mom was cleaning. I opened it and to my surprise there were details to a safety deposit box, box number 111 at the local bank along with a key, carefully taped to the adjacent page. “Why would this be here?” I said out loud to myself. Could this be Dads?

Something told me this was important and given it was my only lead at the moment, I had to check it out. I shoved the notebook in my back pocket and proceeded to the garage to get my bike. Thankfully the rain died down, I thought to myself. Going to be a long ride to the bank. I pulled out my phone to enter the bank’s address in my phone’s GPS and noticed two missed calls from Mom.

“Shit.” I muttered under my breath. She likely got a call from the school. I dismissed the calls and messages, entered the bank’s address, and proceeded on my way.

I arrived at the bank and threw my bike down along the damp pathway. No time to waste. It wasn’t too busy inside, thankfully. I didn’t want to draw attention to myself. I scurried along to the back wall of safety deposit boxes and looked for box number 111. I soon found it and proceeded to pull the key from the taped page in the notebook. Such a strange way to store a key, I thought to myself. I inserted the key and ever so slowly opened the door, hesitant of what I would find. Heart pounding in my chest, I saw inside a stack of money and a sealed envelope sitting on top. Why would my parents store this amount of cash in a safety deposit box?

I pulled out the envelope and slowly removed the folded paper from inside, closing the safe door in the meantime as to not draw attention to the sum of money inside. I peered around the bank, expecting judging eyes from onlookers and bank staff. Much my chagrin, it appears no one noticed me.

I carefully opened the paper inside, fearing it may hold the answer to questions I wasn’t ready to see. I took a depth breath as I began reading…

Linda &Jason –

If you’re finding this letter than I fear it is too late. I’ve gotten myself in over my head. I tried everything in my power to protect you and I hope that you are safe as you read this letter. Through my accounting business I’ve gotten wrapped up with some bad people. People so dangerous I cannot make them known in this letter. Things went sour and in time they will come for me. I was able to swindle away some money undetected through the years, knowing that this day may come. Hopefully this $20,000 can help you. I know it’s not much.

Please, don’t come looking for answers. The people that did this will not stop unless they know all involved have given up looking for me. Please, know that this is not your fault and that I didn’t mean for this to happen. I wish so very much that I could take it all back, but the important thing is that you are both safe.

I love you both, always & forever.

-Dad

I stared at the letter in shock, not understanding or registering what I just read. My dad was an ordinary, average guy in every way. How could I have missed this secret side to him? How could we have allowed something awful to happen to him without even a clue? What happened to him? Is he…dead? I quickly became aware that I was standing in the middle of the bank staring at a piece of paper while tears poured down my face. In an effort not to draw further attention to myself, I quickly stashed the stack of money in my jacket pocket along with the now tear splattered letter and ran back out to my bike.

The cold air hit me like a ton of bricks as I threw open the double doors, gasping to catch my breath. I stood staring into the grey sky for what felt like an eternity, not knowing what to do next. Part me still felt stunned - how could this even be real? The other part of me recognized deep down in my gut that I may never see my dad again. Quickly my anxiety and shock turned to anger. How could Dad do this to me? He wasn’t a stupid man. He had to know the consequences of getting involved with these people.

My rapid-fire thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a tap on the shoulder.

“Excuse me, are you alright?” an elderly man asked with a great deal of concern on his face.

“Uh…yes… I’m fine.” I stammered while quickly grabbing my bike from the ground and taking off toward home. But I wasn’t fine. Not even a little bit.

The ride home was surreal. My legs were pedaling but my mind was in a completely different place.

I opened the garage and leaned my bike against the wall. I made my way to the living room and sat down on the couch. I sat for what felt like days staring out the front window when the sudden beam of headlights flashed across the room. Mom was home.

I watched as she swiftly parked in the driveway and sprinted to the front door. I realized I had four additional missed calls in the time I had been sitting here. I hadn’t even noticed.

“Jason, you’re here? You’ve been home this whole time! Why haven’t you been answering your phone?” She said exasperated.

I stared for a moment, not knowing what to say.

Her anger quickly turned to concern.

“Jason, are you ok? You don’t look well.”

“Mom, I found something I think you need to read.” I reached in my jacket pocket and pulled out the letter, simultaneously placing the stack of money and black notebook on the coffee table. The letter was still damp from my tears, the ink now splotchy.

Mom stared at the money on the table for a moment and then hesitantly unfolded the paper. The color drained from her face a little bit more with each word. She sat quietly for what felt like an eternity before muttering, “Jason, we can’t tell anyone about this letter.”

“But Mom, what if he’s still alive? What if he needs our help? You’re just going to forget about all of this like it didn’t happen?” I yelled back, stunned by her response.

“Jason, these people are dangerous and for both of our safety we need to let this go. Your father made his mistakes and now we need to worry about protecting ourselves from any backlash. You need to pretend you never saw this.” My mom said sternly.

I stormed off to my room and slammed the door. My intuition got me this far, and this was far from over. If my dad is still alive, I am going to find him. This is not where this story ends. Not if I have anything to say about it.