Calling my bluff

It had been a long night. Anna had left. And now here I was with Nick, Seb the kid, and Diego. I did not know much about Diego, but he had money.

We were on the boundary of Saint Lazare, drinking rum and Kentucky bourbon, and hold-em was the game. Stakes were getting high, and it felt like I could part with Anna, just in my mind, and just for an instant.

Suddenly my focus is back on the game, Seb the kid is dealing. He hands out the cards precisely to each of us, as he always did. We put in our blinds, quick to start.

I peered at my cards, plotting my success. Diego spoke little English and was unknowable, but Nick had become easy to read because of his age. Sebàstien had the nickname of ‘kid’ through his inexperience, but he seemed to have endless blessings of luck.

Early in the game, it was clear that this would go high. In my hand, I had three queens from the outset and I was going to ride this till it got big. I already had the edge on them today and felt the luck in my hand tonight. Across the table, I saw Diego glaring at me as though to unsettle me. As he bets, he does not take his eyes from me.

I had met Diego sometime last year; he was an unusual man with his ragged clothes and tanned skin. He was a refugee from down south, Mexico maybe. His native-like knitted wear and his tangled up hair made him an outsider round these parts. He didn’t have a wife or any kids that we knew about.

Anna’s diary seemed to pulse in my coat pocket.

Dear diary:

I arose early today, waking up to a snowy morning and looking outside to the thick mist blanketing the frosty sunrise. My scars from the night before were still fresh and they were still hurting.

Writing this is all that keeps me from telling ma. I need to get away from him. Tomorrow morning.

That is all xx

A

Nick slammed black chips on the table and Diego hesitantly matched this. The game was on. When Seb’s turn came he folded. There was now a pot of 20 black chips. I had found money with Anna’s diary after she had gone to bed and now it was bringing me luck and I was feeling good no matter what that diary said. Nick turned his cards over. He had been bluffing. Diego looked away. I had won.

Anna walked away from the bedroom slowly towards the front door and twisted the handle until it fell open. The diary was gone. The sun was up but the fog stifled everything. Muted light and muffled sound made the morning feel strangely dead. Anna looked down the hill towards the sleeping town and up the hill where the last houses wound away to the countryside. Saint Lazare was cold and still as she walked into town.

I decided to cash out. Nick was unhappy; he had lost a lot today. In anger, Diego stood up, said nothing, and left. Seb hung around for a bit and we shared a couple brandies.

Seb was good fun to be around; he was never a sore loser and he was always drinking. His tailored suit and his refined accent made him a city boy but his drinking habits changed that.

Marginally drunk I stumbled out the doorway and onto the dimly lit street. The sun was coming up.

On the way home, my thoughts reluctantly turned to Anna. I could not believe the words in the diary this morning. Maybe I should treat her better.

Anna reached the station, pausing before going in to make sure no one was following, pushed the heavy double doors and walked in. Men in blue suits and lawmen hats were continuously walking up and down the long depressing hallway. As Anna delved further and further in, the ceiling started crushing her with every step, drowning her as the walls caved in, she started stumbling, deeper and deeper, her chest began seizing up. Anna felt breathless and cried out only to be cut off by silence. Darkness surrounded her and Anna’s eyes closed a final time.

Her life flashes before her eyes; countless days of abuse, his face, pushing and shoving and Anna laying here still. Countless people tending and shouting for help. Anna lay motionless knowing that the diary is not in sympathetic hands.

A week later I was told of Anna’s heart attack and how all her inheritance is left to me. I was now owed $20 000 and I was living the life, forever.

Seb had found a wife and moved up north, Diego had a job at the local bank, Nick had joined the police force and me, little old me, I had everything I possibly needed.