Words Better Left Unsaid

Hey, Mom? I've always kept secrets from you, but they were always small, little, unimportant secrets. Like if I had flossed that night, or that 'no, it was not me who stole the last brownie, it had just magically disappeared.' All things that would be forgotten the next day, or even in the next hour. As I grew older, my secrets grew with me. I went from crying every night from fear of what lies in the dark, to crying miles away in the dead of night, bleeding with no way home.

I believe that was when my first big secret began. The start of it all. Morning of, I was waiting for my very best friend to walk to school with me. The air was warm and wet. I was sticky with sweat and feeling all the weight of my bag. When Lily finally showed up, (you remember her, my best friend at the time.) She seemed far too happy on a boiling Thursday. Lily immediately shoved her phone in my face, and I could see a text message from one of her supposed friends telling her about a party Friday night in the woods. I thought it was a bad idea but she begged and begged. I had to give in eventually. But god, now I wish I was never friends with her in the first place.

Fast forward to Friday. I told you I was sleeping over at Lily's house which at the time wasn't a compete lie. I was lying on her bed, half watching her show off her outfits for the party, and half scrolling through my phone. She had to tell me to look up twice before I actually looked and saw what she was wearing. It was a short, tight, red dress with a very low neckline. She looked far to good to be going to a party in the woods. She asked what I was going to be wearing and was so surprised when I just said whatever. But you know how I am, I never really cared all that much for clothes. Lily dug through her closet and picked out a matching black dress which looked exactly the same save for the color. She dragged me off her bed to try it on, and I also looked fantastic. I made a mental note to look at the brand, which I don't think I ever did.

Lily 'borrowed' her moms car so we could drive to this random party in some random woods. The whole thing seemed off to me, but I went with it. I made her promise she would only have one drink, two at the very most. She reluctantly agreed. I myself planned not to drink at all, or take anything for that matter. When we got there the sun was already setting. There was a short path leading up to the campsite where this party was suppose to be. I was smart and wore my plain sneakers like you always told me to do when in the woods, but Lily decided to go all out and ended up complaining the entire walk how much her feet hurt in her heels. I just kept saying, 'I told you so!" When we finally get there it is almost dark, but the fire and a few lanterns keep the place lit well enough. There were about 20-30 people, all hanging around. People were messing around with the fire, everyone drinking. couples screaming, and couples sneaking off deeper in the woods. Lily is immediately gone from sight, and I am left alone. My dark dress almost blends in with the surroundings, so I was able to lay low. I'm just sitting on my phone with madness around me for about an hour, when I decide its time to go look for Lily. I'm looking around when I spot her, clearly wasted. I start getting up and walking over to her, when someone grabs her arm.

I start sprinting towards Lily. Wanting, Needing to save my friend. When I reach out for her, I get hold on her other arm. That's when some crazy girl starting screaming at us for 'trying to hook up with her boyfriend.' Talk about being saved by the bell. Sort of. Ok not at all. She starts getting really loud. Like, really really loud. Her supposed boyfriend is yelling back at her, just as loud. That is when everything, and I mean absolutely everything, goes south. Sirens are heard in the distance. A boy falls into the fire. Every person there decides to scatter. The crazy girlfriend pulls out a knife.

At this point I start to run, dragging the unnoticeable-at-the-time limp Lily. This crazy bitch with a knife chases after me. I trip over a tree root. The crazy girl falls on top of me. Lily, she's somewhere. It's dark. I can't see. I can feel, though. Something impales my side. I'm reaching to get up. The thing impaling me slides down my leg, leaving a burning red hot trail of pain in its wake. I crawl away, as fast as I possibly can. I have no idea where I am. I crawl and lean against a street lamp, huddled against it. I rip off the sleeves of the dress, and tie them around my leg. Then somehow, fall asleep.

I woke up in a hospital. And the rest after? Long history. So, mom. I did not fall down Lily's broken stairs. I did not try to climb over barbed wires or get scratched by a very aggressive cat or whatever story I told you. That, is how I got the scar from my hip to my knee.

With much love, your beloved daughter.