Word of the Day：出来上がり

I am writing another story today because I can't leave the house without a reason according to my mom. I need to throw away my weed bag stealthily. I usually pack it in my backpack then dump it at the trash can in the park.

In order to get to the park, I need to leave the house. To leave the house means I have to run into my mom in the living room who will eventually ask me why I am leaving and I don't want to say " I just want to get out of the house or something like that because she'll become curious about shit and I rather her think I am just boring. Until I get out on my own I can't really do things as I like.

What do I even want to do anymore? I am starting to forget. I am degrading back to when I was studying Japanese so long ago and I feel like my friend who lives with her mom also, where she sort of went back to avidly reading. I guess we all look for our escapes.

I have a tablet on the floor. When I get tired of standing and writing I switch to writing while laying down.

I just vacuumed the room so I don't mind being on the floor but the fact that nothing is saved in the browser makes it difficult. Luckily I found a work around where I write in the app for Google docs.

The extra step seems excessive but until I think of a different thing to write about, I am going to keep my workflow up this way.

I love seeing the word count go up in the corner, especially when I feel I haven't written that much and turn to that just to see I've gone over the 600 requirement.

I am listening to so many old kpop songs lately. I unfortunately forgot or don't know how to embed videos into the story.

I ordered some Cactus Cooler because that is a soda only sold in California as far as I know, and it is orange-pineapple flavored. I am hoping it tastes as good as I remember it.

Whenever I don't feel good, a walk really helps me feel better. I think seeing the vastness of the sky outside helps to create space in the mind.

Being stressed about apartment searching is wearing me down. I can't help but feel like, " I wish Jahon wasn't crazy and we could've done this together. Or if I had anyone to offer me emotional support who wants to build with me.. "

I am out of weed so I feel a bit snappy at my mom but it is just stress really. I will get some weed tomorrow in the evening. I am just going to say I need a walk or something, I don't think she suspects anything.

It is a bit more dangerous with her being in the house all the time due to her sprained ankle. The better solution, though not the preferred, is to just buy mike's harder lemonade and deal with things using that until she goes back to work on Wednesday.

I am really frustrated not being able to do what I want when I want here. I mean, I would probably feel like inviting people over or something like that at this time but I can't.

The idea of a dinner party or even watching a movie with friends feels so foreign and out of my grasp. I don't know if this is just the way the world is now or if I am truly missing out.