Word of the Day: 待ち合わせ

So basically I am being inundated by birthdays this month. A lot of my family members are born in February and that brings on he pressure of being more around the family.

A part of me sort of wants to go to these family dinners/parties and sort out some of the misunderstandings around why I went to jail. The thing is, it isn't my job to do damage control of my reputation.

It would be a waste of my energy going to there and just getting upset. It also isn't fair to my brother, aunt, grandma and grand nephew to make their birthdays about me.

I am just needing to take a break and recover mentally from everything that happened. I also got a positive on a blood test or... well really I can't read the results but it is kind of scary that I might possibly have a STD. I haven't had a chance to contact my doctor about it and I haven't told anyone else because I want to be sure rather than go off of my poor interpretation of the paper.

Hopefully it just meant my disease is susceptible to that particular thing so I can just include a preventative vaccine to my routine health check ups.

The last person I was intimate with was Drew and it fits the amount of incubation time for it. I also want to confirm with my doctor before telling him in particular too.

My mom and I agreed to doing a chore list sort of thing for my "rent" so, completing chores is the condition of me living with her again. I don't mind doing that since I already do that.

Also for my typical daily entries I am just doing to do word of the day for each one. I'll make "factoid" my next word of the day for tomorrow. It is Mameshiki but I'll explain a bit in the beginning so people can understand how it is interesting.

I am stuck cleaning mostly and it kind of is getting overwhelming because I only have a limited amount of energy in the day and she wants me to do some deep down cleaning. She'll complain if something is not finished by the time she gets home even though what I need to do requires several hours to complete. Also I am home with a puppy that needs attention and to be played with and taken out to pee every 30 minutes so, it is hectic.

I am working on my Patreon in the meantime which I am not sure will ever kick off completely. I am defaulting back to old habits and websites but I feel like this isn't the way I need to be going. The problem is, I don't have a good grasp on what I need to do going forward so I am almost doing these things because I don't have a better idea right now.

Kind of the upside of cleaning this dirty house and living with my mom is that there are plenty of things I don't need to pay for. I just found some foot cream and 2 dollars in change. Since we have the same size feet, we can share shoes and stuff like that.

While I am thinking that, my funds are slowly going down, making me feel anxious about next month. They'll go back up by the end of March but, I worry about the 30 days in between. It is making me want to use marijuana again to just numb out this crap..

I guess I can discuss these things with my therapist..