Word of the Day: 笑え合う

Back when I was still in my teens-20's I used to very obsessively translate for Youtube freely of any and all Japanese Pop/Rock because I felt like I was doing my community a service.

I recognized my language learning skills at a young age and felt like helping people all the time. Unfortunately now I am not working in that field currently due to lack of qualifications and also Ai taking over many fields and the bulk of menial tasks.

BUT since I now am utilizing this platform as my personal blog, I figured,

" Why not stick my toes back into that again? "

Especially since I sort of casually made a comment in this video and the uploader decided to pin it to the top~ *squee*

Unfortunately though, the format of the site is not kind to non-Romanized languages which creates a barrier to article writing here so I can't write directly in the language and will have to transliterate it into roman text.

I thought of perhaps making a secondary blog on the Japanese website Note but I'd prefer to keep only one blog as I have art projects and other things I am working on so... Vocal, wake up! People speak more than English on here. Make some more sections and some coding corrections to allow for more languages.

I am still using this as a free write place because I need a place to do that but I have contemplated something more structured and orderly so people can actually learn something from me or learn together.

I guess I am wanting to focus more on these kind of things rather than my love life. I do like listening to tarot cards but it is either doom and gloom or love readings so, I feel like there is nothing for me there anymore to gain from them.

I kind of watch them out of nostalgia or just to be connected with the people but that is some weird para-social attachment stuff.

I want to just be normal but I think I am not out of the woods just yet so, I think I need to just wait until after this month to actually make some plans on what I want to do.

I have another appointment on the 7th with a group of people so I am hoping by then I will be able to figure out what I want but the more I feel like this is sort of a shitty situation right now. I mean, it is better than being in jail but not by much.

I also have these medical bills that came in because when I was in jail my insurance got taken off... I got to handle that today at human services.

I am so tired already and my prescriber was saying that I should watch my sleep patterns for inconsistences. I just said I was sleeping ok but it is a little low.

I am not worried about that even though I woke up at 2 am. I don't have a purpose. That's the problem. I don't have something I am living for at the moment to direct all this energy. I want to get a job, but I wonder if I am too broken to handle it. I am already 35 with only gig work behind me. But, I guess I won't know if I don't try.

Also the question would be where to work. I live in a small town so I don't have many prospects and my reputation is probably to shit when people would figure out I have been to jail. I don't know, I guess I just need a bit more confidence.