The Right Friend

Friendship. If someone were to ask you what true friendship looks like, what would be your answer? There are many ways to answer that question, so be inclusive when examining who is the right kind of friend.

I learned a long time ago that “friend” is one of the most powerful words in the human language, but people use it so frequently that most don’t realize the potential of its power. Who is a friend? Or better yet, who is the right friend?

Journey mate. Ever heard the term “life mate”? Of course you have, but I prefer to use the term “Journey Mate”. The right friend isn’t just there with you for the duration of your life, but a supportive being as you travel through your journey. The right friend will be aware of the challenges you face on your life’s journey and will do whatever is in their power to see you through those obstacles. Though the right friend should help where they can it’s also important to remember that the right friend is human and can only do but so much, so whatever the right friend cos unable to do should never be held against them.

Unconditional love. The right friend will see everything about you there is to see and will still love you through all your imperfections. It means you don’t have to agree on everything and see life This doesn’t mean they agree with you on everything or see life as you see it, but when the differences come about the love is the same even when the viewpoint is not. This also factors in your personal history.

We all have a past. Maybe we did some not so likeable things or we were a not so likeable person. Whatever the historical flaw may be, the right friend will not look at you in a negative light or judge you based on your past. Instead, the right friend will show you grace and will focus on being understanding of why you did the things you did and why you were the way you were. If anything the right friend will examine these factors if they still effect your present day behavior and will work to help you overcome these demons.

The human diary and a safe space. The diary is the place where we bare our souls. It is the safe space where we divulge our dreams, aspirations, hopes and fears. Whatever speaks to our souls is what we speak to our diaries. The right friend is the human diary who we can bare our souls to and even when our hearts and minds are a complicated puzzle to understand, the human diary known as the right friend will do their best.

It’s also important to be mindful of that human diary’s emotional battery. As much as our lives can be a drag for us to bare, they can also be a drag for someone to listen to if you’re constantly overloading them with a drama fest. Express yourself, but don’t become the energy vampire that drains the life out of a healthy relationship.

Another big key to understanding who is the right friend is understanding who is the wrong friend. Weeding out the wrong friend can be difficult because they often appear as the right person, but understand this, if this friend is being two faced and telling your personal business with other that you shared with them in confidence, then they are the wrong friend. If they always want you to be there for them, but they’re never there for you, then they are the wrong friend. If they only come around when they need something from you, then they are the wrong friend. If they are a constituent who uses your good qualities to build up their narcissistic supply, but is a fair weather person afterwards, then they are the wrong friend.

How many of us can say we have the right friend? As a matter of fact a lot of us can. Sometime we don’t recognize them, sometimes we do. Whatever the case may be, if you have the right friend make sure to love them, treasure them, take care of them and be thankful for them always.