The Perfect Path

I did everything right.

I completed societies path. I graduated high school, led school clubs, participated in functions, I was in the honor society, I volunteered. I did everything right.

I went to college, got my bachelors, had a relationship, got involved in extracurriculars, interned during the summer. I did everything right.

I graduated, with honors, I got a job. I was focused, worked hard, got THE job, my "dream" job. I climbed the ladder, got a new apartment, went to work, cooked my meals. I did everything right.

I walked on the path.

I walked on the path everyone said would take me to success. The path everyone said would make my life better, the path that would take me to wealth and stability.

Then I continued to build it. I followed the map, read all of the instructions. I kept my head down, only looked at the ground while building my path. Meticulously making each stone symmetrical, setting it in the perfect way. Anything outside of the path scared me, so I made nothing outside the path to exist. I wore goggles to block the view and earphones to block the sounds.

But life intervened.

Life decided to throw a curve ball. Life showed me that I could aspire to more when it came to love. I didn’t have to settle. Life showed me that I could take out the path. Fix the path if there were cracks. So I walked back to re-do those steps.

Then, life decided that the place I had transformed into a home, wouldn’t provide me with the space I needed to grow. But life knew, life knew I loved that place, I loved the home I had created. Life knew that I would never willingly leave. So life decided that it would force me out, it would make it so there was no way I could stay. Life threw a landslide in the steps where mere seconds ago I was standing. The path I had so carefully and meticulously built with the given instructions was… broken, shattered into a million peaces. Life broke not only my “perfect” path, life broke me.

Life broke my path

It’s difficult to think you worked so hard on something just for it to be destroyed. Like a sand castle just taken by the waves. It’s difficult to stay positive when you’ve been swimming for years out into the ocean just to have a wave take you back to shore when you saw your destination. It’s heartbreaking having to take a step back to leave all you have worked toward...

I have since learned that taking a step back doesn’t mean failure. Sometimes we need to regroup and reconvine. It might not be comfortable, but it can bring things into perspective. Not focusing on the path opened my view to the beautiful world that was around the path. I saw there were trees and rivers, and waterfalls, and dancing, and singing, and just... existing. It showed places I could create a new path. One that wasn't so linear. A path that branched out, had dead ends, paths that brought me joy. It showed me that I am much more than a worker bee. That I should prioritize living first and work second.

Writing this it sounds like I have figured everything out, but this could be farther from the truth. I constantly feel lost, trying and failing, then trying again. I still might not know where I’m headed, but actually living is better than building the “perfect path”.

Life broke my path, but taught me to create a new one.