Secrets
This Is Me
I came out on my Tumblr Blog and only a handful of people know my sexual orientation. I always knew I wasn't straight. I first noticed in High School, I was attracted to some of the girls, some I knew, some I didn't know. I'm afraid to tell my family because I know that not all of them are supportive of the LGBTQIAP+ community. I never gave much thought to dating, male or female or anyone else, mainly because I just wasn't interested. After I left High School I kind of pushed my sexuality to the side. I started rethinking what my sexuality was. Was I Gay? Was I Bisexual? I actually thought I went both ways in my early 20s. Even though I was more attracted to women, I still liked guys.
By Diamond Gossett4 years ago in Confessions
Housemate nightmare
Names are changed to protect people's privacy I sent a email Sam , you are an f******g b****.You betrayed me for telling lies to my mother and the NCAT. You never asked me to my face to pay you $190 dollars for 3 hour tarot readings. That’s a load of crap. I remember you told me to do some housework in exchange for you readings. A narcissist playing the victim. You are a narcissist. You made me cry and angry because of your betrayal.
By Brandi Dexter4 years ago in Confessions
That old feeling
For a long time, I’ve desired to be seen, be felt and experience a world of affection and love. For so long, I longed for these sure to have that exact feeling and experience to trample into my reality. I found that. A love so rare and forbidden! It started when we were girls, remembering the way she looked at me, the way her eyes would taunt me because she saw me. It was pure, it was innocent because we did not know what we were doing or what we felt other than love. She was my first kiss, my first yearn, just my first. Many women can say that their first love was some young boy from grade school or high school, the complete fairy tale that most young girls desire. The desire to meet the perfect boy and someday marrying that boy and having a family with that now man. But for some, love either existed or didn’t, and it just so happen that my first experience with love was with my then best friend. We grew up in Christian households so it was not an experience we had the freedom to discuss. We lived out our youth trying to understand what we felt and why and if it even made a difference because what we felt, well we didn’t see it as wrong, because it involved good emotions, like love and compassion, we tried understanding that it was ok. One day it came to a halt when my family moved out of the state. But no matter what, she saw me. She felt me from miles away she yearned for me just as much as I yearned for her. While living in another state and still communicating with her, we planned to graduate and be together despite what our families would think or feel but again we were presented with a stop. I went many years with us not speaking because she had then become a mother, and well for me, I was devastated. Motherhood was always a beautiful experience to me, so I couldn’t find it in myself to see it any other way and let her live. I went a few years not speaking to her which had become very hard to do. It was the only love I had experienced and wanted. Nothing compared and no one compared. I tried the meeting new people game and met a guy named Frank. We were just friends but he liked me a lot and wanted me to be his girlfriend. He too lived back home where she lived. I met him one summer visiting and hit it off. Frank was easy on the eyes, really tall and a gentleman. In my mind, I started to wonder if being with him was my opportunity to finally let go of the past. I forced myself to know more about him, to bury my emotions and heartbreak from the past but it always crept back. One day I learned Frank was from the same town her and i grew up in, and while learning more about him, I got excited. Was this a chance to find her and rekindle things or just see if she’s ok? I tried really hard not to ask him if he knew her or her brother, but one day he stopped by my grandparents home to hang out after a game of basketball. After hanging out a while, he asked so what are your plans for today and I said I’m trying to find my old friends and mentioned the town we grew up in to spark his interest and I took that opportunity to ask if he knew them...I asked did he know them since we were all from the same town and ironically he did. I immediately said, take me to them. And without question he did! It had been 4 years since we spoke or even saw each other so of course I was nervous and afraid that she moved on and forgot about me, but my heart wouldn’t let go. I remember my siblings and a cousin tagging along when they learned that he was taking me to visit some old friends and learning who the friends were. When we pulled up to their home, I felt sick. I knew that she was there without seeing her or speaking to her. I felt her there! Coincidentally, she had a cousin we grew up with, somewhat of the towns bully who had grown into such a beautiful being. I kept watching through the cracked car window as her and Frank spoke. They apparently knew one another! As he mingled amongst the other guests, I mentioned how the young girl looked familiar and said her name. I attracted her attention and she stood at the window asking who is in the car that knows her because she heard her name mentioned. I then opened the door and in shock she started to cry and hug us all. She ran to get Deb but she never came out. She never mentioned that I was outside for her either. I started to feel sicker and sad. I asked, well is she here and her cousin told me yes she’s inside, she doesn’t know you’re here but she’s getting ready. I was there for over an hour and losing hope. As I started to open the car door to get in and leave, someone put their hands over my eyes and when I turned around, I felt whole. She smiled, she said to not leave and hugged me. Inside I was trembling. She had so many questions about Frank and I, she immediately grabbed me away from everyone into this place we called the waterfall. I had been back home visiting for a month and not for good, but I really didn’t plan on seeing her during my visit. I felt like I was sleep walking as we walked down the path to the waterfall. She was talking a mile a minute as I just stared away in emotion. I wanted to tell her that I loved her and missed her but I couldn’t in fear of being rejected. She asked, so do you have a girlfriend? And I said no, how can I have that if I’m talking to Frank? I then asked her, what took so long for her to come out. And she told me, she felt me there so she wanted to look her best. It gave me hope that she even thought to look her best for me. Someone who felt invisible to the world, to family and friends. Someone who was aching for that experience,I was recileiving it and I enjoyed it. I knew she saw me wether it was in the moment or not, I felt seen and she heard me. Without speaking she heard my heart and I needed that. No one else cared to ask how was I doing? What I needed? Or if I were ok? And I wasn’t. I was heartbroken and carried the pain for four years. In that moment, the world stopped just for us and that was enough for me. While talking she looked at me, and I can remember her scent and touch. She hugged me saying how much she missed me but wanted me to kiss her so that she can get me out of her system. I suddenly let go and said no. I wasn’t doing such thing! She pleaded for a kiss and I refused. In my mind, I thought, how could she say that when I know she loves me and I eventually agreed. Nervously, We began to get closer, I can tell she had more experience than me. She was the only I had experience kissing. Our lips touched and we shared a passionate kiss. Everything rushed back in full force. I started to pull away and she pulled me back saying how she still loves me and misses me. She started to cry from emotion and kissed me again. I stopped and had to tell her that I’m not there to stay for good and that I’m just visiting. She hesitantly grabbed my hands and said it’s ok. In that moment, she was all I saw and wanted. This time I kissed her, as we heard the others running through the path to find us. We started to laugh and run in a different direction. Night had fallen and I had forgotten al about Frank. I scurried to get my things as she asked me if I were leaving. I explained that I had forgotten about Frank, and she stopped and asked, what about him? While we walked back she wanted me to tell her if I loved Frank and I didn’t but I couldn’t just hurt him. I never did that and didn’t know how. In the midst of us talking Frank was approaching us as we approached her home, he hugged me and asked if I were ok, I told him yes and said I’m staying over but to come back tomorrow. He said, I want you to have fun with your friends so I can come back tomorrow. I knew she’d be happy to know that I wasn’t leaving for the night. At this time, everyone has come back but she couldn’t stop staring at me and I couldn’t stop staring at her. She then came and whispered something in my ear for us to run off away from the crowd again. This time we hid away in her brothers car. We started to kiss again but more passionately and more touching. It was hard to let go of the moment but I felt so whole the entire time. We shared a beautiful moment and experience with one another. We laid beside each other and went up in smoke! At the time we were 18 and 19, but the love was there. Feeling seen and she told me how she felt seen and complete. I’ve never had a burst of those emotions again neither have I ever experienced a love that passionate again. We are both in our 30s and we still share the same passion for one another. I guess now we love each other from a distance or are we becoming distant memories. I really can’t answer. In a crowd of not knowing one another’s existence, we feel the same feelings and share the same heartbeat. But now we live in differently worlds with different lives. I haven’t been seen since, but I can’t say if she has. For us Bering seen is not someone seeing our beauty but for our hearts to be seen and heard. You only experience that once is what I’ve come to conclude it as. My heart is yearning that passion and love just to seen and heard. I’m sure she knows it, but she will always have a place in my heart.
By Anonymously Speaking 4 years ago in Confessions
Why You Should Stop Listening To The Internet
The other day I had an epiphany. I normally don't have these, and I also normally cut straight to the chase when explaining myself (as I'm not doing so far for this article, sorry just give me a second) but I had the feeling that danger is everywhere, if not for all species- then for all of humanity. It's like we are cursed, every year a new problem arises to no surprise, yet we keep somehow understanding more about the good of the world? That doesn't add up, and yes these points are somewhat unrelated, but shouldn't everything be connected: particullarly if it is related to something similar. Now this mentality is needless and I could question the universe and nature forever like everyone, but what I'm getting at is that we don't need to rely on things like the internet when there's already this many people on Earth. Now that I mention that, it seems this article is useless right, and everyone knows we don't need the internet right?
By Peter Miller4 years ago in Confessions
Back Stabbed
“The cabin in the woods had been abandoned for years, but for one night, a candle burned in the window”. The campfire crackled and sparked. The camping group huddled next to each other, their eyes wide, frozen in place while their marshmallows charred and smoked. Everyone knew about the abandoned cabin at the end of the road, the one with the caution tape crossed over the front door and the ‘for sale’ sign still staked in the front lawn with its overgrown weeds and brown grass. A bit of an urban legend; kids spent the night in the forgotten cabin as a dare. No one ever lit a match, for fear of bringing HIM back; the infamous serial killer of our decade, the Back-Stabbing Killer, everyone’s worst nightmare. The tale says that “whomever conjures light within these walls will suffer the same fate as his victims”.
By Holly Homan4 years ago in Confessions
Self-esteem
I could tell you that talking about you in terms of bad luck is wrong, that the attitude to have is the opposite: being a winner even when no one takes you into consideration, sell yourself well, sell smoke. But I believe in the truth, in being oneself, which does not mean not seeing one’s flaws and not trying to improve, but rather being aware of one’s weaknesses and strengths. That would be self-esteem, if one had it. You must strive to have it, beyond and despite the social anxiety.
By Patrizia Poli4 years ago in Confessions
Chills
"The cabin in the woods had been abandoned for years, but one night, a candle burned in the window." David started, setting the mood for the rest of his colleagues around him. As they all leaned in, he waited for them to signal him to continue once more.
By Thavien Yliaster4 years ago in Confessions
