Humanity
Why Are Boys Forced to Toughen Up?
What is this? Why do boys need to man up and be tough? Nobody likes a sensitive male? Not manly enough? This is what’s wrong with much of our society; man after man has been told that boys don’t cry and to man up. We have angry men. We have testosterone-filled men that are scared and sad and they aren’t given permission to feel either of those things.
By Melissa Steussy4 years ago in Confessions
Trauma Healing
I just watched “The Vow” for the second time though I have absolutely no memory of the first time I know it was the second time. It was kind of like the first time again. And I can’t believe how much I understand. Every brain injury truly is different. And while I wish mine was due to anything else, but domestic violence, I’m just grateful that I’m still here to talk about it. And maybe I won’t be one day, and that’s okay. I’m just tired of being strong today. I need to release this. In this moment, I feel like I have no clue who I am or why I’m here. I know that I use to know. And I used to be so sure and so crazy about my life purpose and mission. Now I just feel perpetually present. And while many would say that’s a good thing and how we’re supposed to be, I just feel small. I constantly feel like an outsider on my own life. Like I’m the one living my life, with myself, by myself, with something and someone divine, watching and waiting for me to do or ask the next thing about me. Like one day I just stopped recording and pressed the playback button, now I’m here. I feel like I go through this over and over again, forgetting that I even have forgotten memories. To be replaced by more pain and hurt and betrayal. Wanting so badly for it to be a dream or a joke. It’s not. I want to get to know myself so I isolate myself, something everyone dislikes me for. They’re all gone now. I just keep going to see what I like, and what I don’t like, and how I respond and even how I react. I’m just studying myself sometimes liking what I find out and other times being disgusted. I don’t expect perfection, and I don’t expect to understand. I feel that I care very deeply for myself. Is it love? I’d like to think so. I just wonder what happened to my compassion. My empathy is different. It’s like I’m more sensitive, but more guarded at the exact same time. Having a human experience, with other humans who have behavior I just don’t comprehend. I have new desires that feel old. I have old goals that feel new. I have clarity where I know I didn’t have it before, but I can’t pinpoint the reason I needed it. This existence is so confusing and it all makes sense. There’s no need for validation or criticism. Did I deserve what happened to me? No. Did I do this to myself? No. Am I totally responsible? Yes. At what point do I stop holding myself accountable to the version of me that used to exist, when all I want to do is go forward in the existence I am now? The only advice I’ve gotten that always applies, is to just keep living. I’m never going to have all the answers. And that’s okay. I just wonder how I existed for so long not feeling much of anything, but being so knowledgeable in so much that was outside of my control. And now, I feel everything, having no control over it, going day by day learning to manage only what’s in my control. Learning to be like water as some say. I don’t know if there’s other people who feel this way. Or if there’s anyone else who understands. I’m just sure about one thing, and that’s the fact that healing is messy. It’s not cute. Its not black and white. It’s not something to gloat about. It’s an arduous, delicate, painful, and beautiful process. A journey. It’s a full time job, that I can only clock out from when God says I can go home. My only hope is that in my final review, someone says well done.
By Chelsie Monet4 years ago in Confessions
Its Not Some Feminist Crap Like "I Don't Need A Man." I JUST DON'T WANT ONE.
Okay so first of, the title isn't meant to offend anyone. I genuinely respect feminism and believe the movement is responsible for a lot of positive changes that society have been through in the last few decades.
By Nazneen Dubash4 years ago in Confessions
Millions of Miles Per Hour
I feel like I am going a million miles per hour, yet I accomplish nothing. I have so much to do with my life, but I feel like I am in a never-ending cycle of events that keep holding me back. I've been trying my hardest to keep a straight face and not let anyone know I struggle. But I can't keep that mask on anymore. I can feel myself breaking, and it's happening more frequently lately. The only thing keeping me sane is that I haven't been genuinely alone; I always have {Someone} around me. But that's how I grew up too. It's all I've known my whole life, never really alone besides for a few hours at a time.
By Bethanee Roberts4 years ago in Confessions
The Job of Acceptance
I needed a job. I really wanted to contribute. I had moved in with my boyfriend. The next step in our plan was to buy a house together. I wanted a job because the majority of the money I would earn would go towards a down payment on a house.
By KJ Aartila4 years ago in Confessions
End of the world
Sometimes it feels like the end of the world, sometimes I feel like I want it to be the end of the world. I've had such a bad feeling about today, so have so many others that I have spoken to about my feelings. I just sit here waiting for something bad to happen and I don't know when or how.
By Lia Rose4 years ago in Confessions
When It's Time To Leave
Change, especially big changes, can be scary. Change means the unknown or unfamiliar. It means stepping away from the comforting and secure, taking a risk that may or may not pay off. Viewed in that light, it's unsurprising that people would stay in bad relationships, toxic work environments and unideal situations until they can no longer ignore the negative effects.
By Natasja Rose4 years ago in Confessions
Mattersome Mind Spatter.
I fucking hate everything. Had my fill of it all. Please don’t take offense, it’s a “me” thing. I’m sure you’re just a peach. Entrenched in my microcosm...I barely even eat anymore. Still, do kindly back off of my biscuits. Who knew fasting brought out latent food aggression? The people who actually have nothing to eat. That’s who.
By C.J. Jaye4 years ago in Confessions
Random Acts of Kindness
My mother, god bless her, always taught me to do nice things for others whenever I can- that’s why I give homeless people “Kind” bars and donate to “Donation Boxes” at various places. Unfortunately, some ideas, like giving Grandma’s computer a “Makeover,” sound better in theory than in actuality. However, last Friday (Friday the 13th, no less!) I did something beautiful for another autism mom that she will never, ever forget.
By Jennifer Rose4 years ago in Confessions
