Humanity
From The Beginning
To whom it may concern, I'm not sure what to say. I don't really know where to begin. I would start at the beginning, but that part is a bit blurry. I wish I could remember everything clearly. Alas, my memory fails me. No matter what the beginning is, there are things that must be said. There are things that I must get off my chest. I have a story that I need to tell. Something that I should have shared a long time ago. I wasn't sure if I wanted to share my story at first. However, I felt that in order for me to move on, I needed to get it out. I need someone to hear it. I need someone who is actually willing to listen. I will admit that I never thought that I would ever do something like this. Please keep an open mind. Try not to judge me too harshly. I was very young when these things first happened. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to process the trauma. I still don't. It's consumed me for long enough. I want to be free from this burden. I'm tired of feeling guilty for what was done to me. It’s not something I wish on anyone. All I ask is that you try and understand. There were things that happened when I was young. Things I wish I could take back. Things that should have never happened. They did however and it can never be undone. The pain can never be unfelt. The betrayal and guilt will follow me for my entire life. Even if it wasn't my fault. It’s haunted me most of my life. I wish that I could take it back. Sadly, it’s stuck with me for all of eternity. I wonder what would have been different if these things had never happened. I thought it was my fault for a while. Like I had done something wrong. It took me years to realize that I had done nothing wrong. Nothing that I had done made it my fault. This is my life and I deserve to be heard. I deserve some peace. I'm sick of hiding what happened. I don't want to keep it a secret anymore. I want to be free from this burden. I want to be truly and fully happy. I will no longer let my trauma define me. I will no longer protect those who have hurt me. I am a broken shell of a once happy girl. I'm going to change that. I am going to take back the control that was stolen from me. I will no longer live in the shadows of other people's mistakes. I have done nothing to be treated like that. I'm starting to notice more and more how many people that I don't need in my life. The more boundaries I set, the more people leave. The more I stand up for myself, the more people think I'm rude or disrespectful. I'm done letting people think they can walk all over me. I'm done letting people think that just because I don't say anything that means they can disrespect me. I'm becoming myself more and more every day. I'm going to speak my mind. I'm done staying silent so others will feel better. I'm done trying to spare other people's feelings. I'm taking back control of my life. I'm ready to live my life to the fullest. No more letting other people make my decisions for me. Time to get back to being me strong and independent self.
By Jasmine Harris4 years ago in Confessions
Self-Resolutions
Every year when the ball drops, we tell our friends of these new skills we’re going to pick up or what bad habits are behind us in the new year. It’s always something that we think people will like about us. This year let’s not worry about what others think. It’s time for us to focus on ourselves. Bring ourselves some personal joy. Live for our happiness.
By Alys Maeve Amoré4 years ago in Confessions
I'm not going to Hell. And I'm not fat.
Religion: an industry that brought great peace to those dying in their 30s in the Middle Ages. Doctors: medically intrigued and monetarily-driven professionals who brought little comfort or usefulness to those dying in their 30s in the Middle Ages.
By B. Pratt4 years ago in Confessions
Unbecoming
They say love makes you crazy. I can believe that. The thought of losing myself terrified me. It had happened once before, in my twenties and put me off getting involved with anyone again. Then my thirties hit and before I knew it, I had sleepwalked into hell.
By JoJoBonetto4 years ago in Confessions
The Dichotomy of Love
Sometimes I feel that living life is exhasusting. The majority of nights during the week that I look forward to daylight ceasing, and bedtime approaching, is concerning to say the least. I ignore it though. I ignore the blatant shift that is happening in my life. I've been reverting to memories of my past more than daydreaming of my future. I feel nostalgic more than I feel hopeful. I hold in waves of despair and oceans of tears that linger in my body, swelling, with the innate potential of a forceful cascade of salt water behind my eyes. I agree with others to keep the peace. I scoff at romance. I fear that I have lost myself. I can't afford to do that.
By Lauren 4 years ago in Confessions
Between America
What a perverse period of my life. And now there is too much to think about, I’ll never get it done. I’m talking about that time between childhood and adolescence. I can’t imagine I’ll ever again have problems like I did then, but my father probably thought that too.
By Rajiv Sinha4 years ago in Confessions
The End?
April awakened to the incessant buzzing of her cell phone that lay on her nightstand. The bright light of the screen hurt her eyes as she strained to see who was calling her so late. Hello? What time is it, and this it better be good she said. There was no voice of the other end at first just the crackle of static over dead air. Like you used to hear before cell phones. She was about to hang up when she heard a man's voice speaking. April is that you? This is Bob Court, do you remember me? Of course, I do she said. Why are you calling me? It's been what, 37 years and now you call me out of the blue and wake me up? I guess I should be pleasant and ask how you're doing but frankly I'm more confused than anything. What do you want? I'm sorry April and you're right to be angry for getting woken up. I'm not quite sure what time it is. Not too late though, I don't think. I'm honestly not sure what possessed me to call you, other than I really felt like I owed you an apology for what had happened. Huh? What happened? April asked. That weekend back in 1981 when you wanted to come over and I wouldn't let you. I had met a quick fling and obviously didn't want to say anything to you about it. We spent the weekend together, but it meant nothing to me. Unfortunately, though it ended things for us, and I always felt guilty of that. You seemed to get over quite quickly though. I don't think it was two weeks before I was calling you and you wanted nothing to do with me. Found someone new very quickly and it hurt me a lot, but I know I had it coming. I realized how much I must have hurt you and I always felt guilty about that! So then after 30 some odd years you call me to alleviate your guilty feelings, Bob? Well, honestly, I really don't remember it as well as you seem to. So, let's just say then that it was obviously not a big deal, I absolve you of all your guilt. Thank you for calling, now can I go back to sleep? Yes, April thank you and again I apologize for everything. No worries Bob talk to you in another thirty years, click... The phone went dead.
By ADAM GOLDSMITH4 years ago in Confessions
I can see clearly
Am wearing glasses which I never used to never wanted to, they steam up when I wear a mask to cover my nose and mouth, this Covid has caused chaos in the eyes of us spectacle wearers. Today I am on way for an eye test after experiencing little floaters which to my eyes resemble tiny winged insects. I thought I was having an apocalyptic experience right in front of my very eyes.
By Karen Eyo4 years ago in Confessions
