Humanity
The Tao of Entropy
Quite recently, two extremely tragic events separated only by seven miles, happened within 24 hours of each other, and while I didn’t personally know any of the people involved, both situations have had a powerful emotional and spiritual impact on me. This is pretty normal for me. I am deeply affected by every school shooting, every disaster, every act of hate, violence, war, or terrorism that comes into my awareness. I don’t always talk about it, but it’s there and it usually requires a lot of work to keep myself from spiraling back into deep depression like I used to.
By Brijit Reed3 years ago in Confessions
Into The Pits and Out of the Light
PREFACE Pit *High pitched ring* it is happening again, that ring. *High pitched ring slowly comes to a long-lasting ring* She slips into the darkness of the high vibrational frequency of silent noise, the consciousness and unconsciousness meeting into the grey area of our minds. Within this process, both sides of the brains connect into one form of electrically vibrational frequency that finally reunites as one. She starts to realize that she is awakening again……*She is now I and I have awaken* My eyes are starting to see light again, it is time for me to open my eyes again, *Her eyelids start to slowly open and through the blurred vision, her eyes adjust to her surrounding area. I have awoken with a bright sting of pure color from the bright sun. As my eyes adjust to the unknown brightness, I notice in front of me light green flickering patches that stretched to the entrance of a forest, "wow, what a beautiful green scenery," *I breathe into my nose and out of my mouth* I say to myself; “Even the breeze smells so fresh here”. As I continue to be within my surroundings, my ego of her starts to rise and think "I seem to know this surrounding…but how? I do not think I have walked through these paths before, but I somehow feel driven to move forward, through this forest of familiarity"…. As she slowly resides back into the depths of unknown, I start to walk past the thick, sturdy, tall oak trees, and through the meadow of bright green grass, as i sense the textures and colors of the forest i noticed the change of green to golden yellow wheat meadow. I come to think how bizarre it was to change from green forest grass to golden yellow wheat meadow, and then she realizes that she is thinking, from thinking it turns into the knowing of I am, and now it is more than just her. I come to a halt, I look to what seems like the right and left side of my upper and lower physical body, and as I accept that the body is no longer in a physical plane, my gaze quickly rises. At first it seemed hard to tell but a beautiful pinewood bridge had started to form from the pieces of the golden wheat field and revealed to me a diamond field full of bright colored stars. As my look settles onto each star, I come to realize that each individual light is as unique and different as the other, as I settle into emotion of awe, this magnetic feeling from this beautiful field caused my true self to be pulled out from inside of her, my physical ego. She no longer had control, and as I look below myself, I see what used to be my physical self on one side of the bridge, while my true self started to cross the bridge to the beginning of the bright diamond field. I looked around my surrounding area, that feeling of familiarity is accepted within my true form, I can't help but be in love of what I know to be myself, and as I started to consciously understand where I am, another scenery grabbed my attention. Below the bridge, I had known to be a river was more than what I had first anticipated, shadows of unspeakable description lurked with the darkest and dimmest of colors, the sense of cold ran up my being and as they sense my gaze onto them, they rose from the river, as their tall figures revealed themselves as a version of what I used to be, they looked at me and opened a channel to speak to me telepathically. "Choose wisely: through temptation comes misery, through misery comes understanding, and understanding comes acceptance. Choose" As their words buzzed around my mind, she quietly comes back into view “Choose? Must I choose a temptation to understand the acceptance, or would I need the acceptance to understand the wisely decision of avoiding misery?” as she continues to think to myself, the I am presence of my true being felt the unsettling ease of not trying to think through this decision and just follow the knowing of truth without the nagging need of her: the ego coming into my decision. Yet, she still persists to pops up again and ask “Would I even escape the misery that comes with deciding or does the misery come after the decision? Must I choose regardless? Even if I do not want to follow to avoid misery? What is this, why put me here?” I was having trouble being in one with my true self, as she took over with anxiety, self-doubt, and awareness of a split between choosing the wrong jewel through her sense of egotistical logic, and the jewel I knew that is me through the I am of my own intuitive spirit. As my true being struggles with the Dis-attachment of what I thought used to be me, deeper colors of dark blue and black had come over us again, it’s familiarity of exhaustion being the reality, “Could I understand what it is like to pick one jewel to spend misery with? Or would life no longer be miserable? What is my purpose to find this jewel if it will only bring me misery?” The longer she questions the more I struggle to show her the true self of being. "Is misery not the reality I must figure out?” "What is the purpose of this life? Do I even exist in it?" I continue to struggle, no longer wanting to push out, I start to sink into the void of meaninglessness. Just as I was starting to lose strength in fighting the ego of herself, a bright purple, pink, orange flame comes from the end of the field. I no longer felt the push and pull of her and myself, I have suddenly felt complete in my true self without her entering the silence to interfere what I know must happen, this allowed me to move forward to the other side of the bridge. Weightless and full of knowing, I followed the bright color show with excitement and child-like curiosity through the diamond field. The diamonds moving aside as if it had its own will, to give my being space to walk through, as I notice the colors rise from the ashes of the fallen trees that surrounded this jewel, it floated above my being. As I stared at the beautiful bright lights that were now only a few feet away from me, it started to downwardly shift onto the diamond field. I continue to stare at the beautiful colors, and as I am being within the moment of awe it started to give shape to you. I have not seen someone here in this field for as long as I could remember, this person must be the guide that will help me seek the diamond that I am searching for. The colors did not move, so i questioned loudly “Where do you come from stranger? I was told to pick a diamond, can you direct me to the diamond I am searching for?” oddly enough I knew this was a silly question for I knew the diamond, and as i recognize this, the shape of the stranger laughed and said to me “Don’t you recognize me my love?” the stranger was no longer a stranger. Your wavy curly hair finally shows through the orange flames of your head , the purple and pink settles around your tall figure, and as your long legs move forward to touch the beautiful bright field, the diamonds that were laid in front of us separate into a clear path for you, and with each heavy-light stride you took towards me, diamonds would crack, and then shatter…Colors filled the sky around you, as you move closer to me, the colorful sky engulfs me into the space of creation, the more my senses understands how long it truly had been since I’ve seen you, the more I am drawn to you like a magnet drawn to its opposite. As my cognitive mind separates and my heart comes into my foresight of my true being, it shows me this knowing and accepting with ease your important existence within my life. My vision clears, now you are so close to me, my anxiety settles, and the understanding of who you are comes to my consciousness, you’ve never left. “It has been a long life, why did you leave me behind to fend for myself?” he wraps the beautiful purple and pink around me, and as we embrace, the colorful sky of green, white, blue, pink, and grey collided into a spark of a lifetime of explosions, and with each explosive color, the smoke would settle and create a sky full of lucid rainbows. He whispers to me “I’ve never left you, but this path is only yours to follow. I’ve waited for you and will wait until you see where you truly blossom my beautiful being. You are love, you are hate, you are envy, and you are praise, and when you finally understand your own miseries, we will meet each other again.” As he slowly fades into the darkness of the colors, I am left alone once again in the depths of my own darkness. That same dark feeling starts to creep into my mind, I am no longer I, she comes back as the commanding being. Let me sink into the unknown forever, I no longer want to live without you, but before I could sink into the loneliness of my own consciousness, its energetic life pulls me forward with the brightest gold and yellow I’ve seen, and once again I am back to the physical plane of humanity. My eye lids of my 3 dimensional being open and close, and as my vision settles, I look around the small room of existence that I have come to know as my life. I said to myself "It was only a dream", and as the vividness of you and me come to mind, those never-ending tears start to fall from my cheeks again and the questions start all over. "How long will it be until I see you? When will I see you again? What can I do to see you again?" Maybe that’s not the question or questions I must be asking myself. Maybe the question is "When will I stop feeling self-pity and self-doubt to move forward?" Maybe, it is, "What is it that I can do for myself to stop feeling so lonely in my own consciousness?" As I continue to slip back into my mind of what i think is my existence I continue on, "Maybe, it’s not meant for me to see you again until I understand my own miseries of self"," Maybe me and you would never meet again in this life, even if I do fix the toxicity of what I call my own demons". With these endless amounts of maybes that run through my frontal cortex, I start to wonder if there is even an exact answer for all my questions. I sit there in the dim lit room and then ask myself, what even is the exact? The exact is, following myself into the depths of my own darkness to know myself. Then, I can understand what it is that I must surpass to be fully one again, but is it really that straightforward or do i tell myself this to find comfort that I am the only one really feeling this depth of pain over you?
By Katherine Orellana3 years ago in Confessions
Quiet life
Yesterday and a few college classmates small gathering, watching the scenery of the students exchange glasses, I still like the university as quietly sitting in their corner. The difference is that my face has more calm and relaxed, smiling and feeling their pleasure, feeling the deep love of fellow students. I think I will always belong to the quiet people sitting in the corner, and will never be the focus and the main character. But after so many years of baptism, my heart more calms, I smile at my son and classmates' children playing together, and faint happiness lingers in my heart.
By Fayhath Dyagran3 years ago in Confessions
No negotiations required
Like everything else, your job post had a strange aura. You are looking for qualities that are systematically eradicated from our personality in the institutions we work, after hours and hours of useless working (just because we need a job). Morals and ethics are thrown out of the windows when you are asked to be quiet just because the management wants you to be.
By Ahmad Zubair3 years ago in Confessions
If you can quietly listen to the years, the light and time stay fragrant
When I sat quietly against the balcony, the wind outside the window was sweeping away the stuffy air in a horizontal manner. Looking at the empty night sky, at that moment I learned what it means to have a cool night like water, and what it means to return to nature. Night, indeed, is a spiritual angel, it can bring people to enjoy comfort and leisure. Yes, the night has always been soft and beautiful, but I never knew that the original can fade away the colors of the day, life left blank black is also a breezy blessing.
By Charles W Wheaton3 years ago in Confessions
Ego judges, awareness watches, insight liberates
Ego-centered behaviors An urge to judge A desire to be right Fear of the unknown Attachment to an identity Attachment to objects or people Feeling insecure when attacked Feelings of superiority or inferiority Tendency to never let go or surrender
By Rudina 3 years ago in Confessions
7 Ways I Changed My Life
After the death of the old man I knew I had to act fast to get out of that toxic situation. A situation I was always in, a life I knew no better on. Writing this blog entry is the most hardest thing I ever wrote. Proceeded in death was the loyalty I ever had for my ex family.
By Emily Curry (Rising Phoenix)3 years ago in Confessions
I Got Revenge and I Don't Regret It: The Story of the Troll
I did the wrong thing today And I don’t regret it. I did the childish thing. I wasn’t the bigger person. I made the wrong choice. I stooped down so many levels. I stopped listening to the voice in my head that told me to knock it off.
By Abigail Pollard3 years ago in Confessions
Starr Theory
Nobody can hear a scream in the vacuum of space, or so they say. Well I am one to disagree personally; when you realize what space is you will be rushed with the feeling of euphoria beyond belief. I’ve had much fear of death recently after hardship and loss, and I went to the deepest and darkest depths of my soul. I was lost in this world and I think we all feel the same. The yearning for more, the need for validation, the desire for love, the list could go on for years. We all feel it and we all receive these gifts differently. However, it’s not just gifts we receive, and sometimes we feel hopeless. We kill ourselves slowly with cigarettes or quickly with a bullet to the dome. These experiences are all fully necessary in life as they are all different. They are all unique paths with unique stories to tell and they should be shared.
By Connor starr3 years ago in Confessions
Jesus is Real
Any person who says, “I don’t have to do what my parents say, I’m eighteen,” has probably never had their mother utilize her sandal as a tool of public humiliation in the middle of a low-priced grocery store. I grew up in a mixed-race household that fulfilled the stereotype for both Mexicans and Irish individuals. It began as Catholic and became non-denominational Christian, which meant that while we attended normal church and experienced communion, we did not have ‘Mass’. Because of the nature of my family, hearing sentences like “my mom will totally beat my ass,” always held different connotations than what most people would think. The saying doesn’t mean “I am a victim of abuse” as much as it means “my parents weren’t afraid to spank me as a child.” With all of this said, there was a moment in my life in which I was sure my mother was going to beat my ass in front of all my friends—the time I dropped the communion juice in Church. Through this disaster of an event, I came to realize that Jesus was real, and he saved me from an ass whooping.
By Kai Jeffreys3 years ago in Confessions
