MY CHILDHOOD MISTAKES

I was about ten years old when i began to think of why my mother and my father used to say they did not have money. As a little child i was worried and confused with my parents incessant complaints about lack of enough money to take care of us in the family.To me then,i was not aware money could only come from work.But when i was enlightened about this,i still blamed my two parents for not working hard so as to get enough money to take care of us.

One day as i was preparing to go to school, i asked my mum to give me my school fees so that i would not be sent out of the classroom any more,but my mum insisted that there was no money, that i should be patient till the following week.i said 'no' and i started crying,because i knew i would be flogged by my teacher if i did not go with the money.

I called my mum and told her i would like to have a little discussion with her.She was curious to know what i wanted to say. So she sat me down and said that she was listening to me.

I asked ''mum,do you know that all my friends Akin,Tola,Bunmi have all paid thier shool fees, and thier parents used to come and pick them with cars during closing time.But why are you so wicked to me that you would not pay my school fess in time and i trekked to school and come back with my bear feet?'' My mum laughed a little and said because all fingers are not equal,that my friend's parents were richer than her and my father''.

All these responses from my mum accellerated my cry.Out of curiousity, i then asked ''is it not the same God that created my friends' parents that created you,or you do not pray to God the way they pray to Him.?'' Athough that very day,my mum beat me the more i asked questions,i determined to talk to my teacher when i got to school that day.

On getting to school, i went straight to meet my English teacher Mr Adebimpe.I asked him 'WHY ARE MY PARENTS POOR'? Mr Adebimpe smiled and consoled me that they were not poor so far that they can feed me days and nights.He said that i should look at my fingers and i would see that there were not of the same sizes. I said i have heard the same thing from my mum but why God should do it that way. MY TEACHER SAID FINALLY THAT ''ONLY GOD KNOWS WHY...........''

I lived with this theory of ''All fingers are not equal'' till i finished my secondary school.But when i got into the university, the theory started to have more weights over me.

As a university student i mingled with friends from different backgrounds.Many of them were from rich family .They have their own cars bought for them by thier parents.I from an average family or should i call it poor family,had none.But my conviction was that i would not end up poor like my parents.I started following the footsteps of my rich friends.

There was a day i was discursing with these my friends about how to make money and be rich for life.Kola a friend ,laughed and said that to be rich is very simple,only if i could join thier group called ''BIG BOYS ON CAMPUS''.

Desperately, i said i was ready to join their group so far they assure me of getting rich.So i joined the 'BIG BOYS ON CAMPUS',the happening guys!

I mingled with these guys to the extent that i used to go and spend my holidays in their parents house.I rarely went home to visit my parent anymore since i knew i would be given 'peanut' when i wanted to return to school.

On the 15th June 1998,an incident happened that made me regretted my relationship with this gang.

An opposition cult group had misunderstanding with our group called 'Aye'.Fight started between us and two of those cult group were killed by our group.The school authority took over the case and we were apprehended.We were all in the police custody like for more thanthree months.

All my friends' parents came and my friends were granted bail.I the poor boy,could not be granted bail because nobody stood for me.I could not dare inform my parent of what happened. Two months,three months went bye, i was still there.The school authority threatened to take the case up if by the following month nobody came for my bail.

On that fateful day,i was inside the police cell lamenting why i joined this group. I began to ask myself ''why nobody came to grant my bail while all my friends have been granted bail?''Is it because thier parents are rich and i came from poor family?Is it now true that my long term nursing theory "All fingers are not equal'' is becoming practical?

On that morning,I heard my name shouted by a constable to come out of the the cell.I was scared but a little bit happy to be free from the ills and bitterness inside the cell. As i went out i saw my uncle and my dad crying profusely.

Thank God they have granted my bail.They held my two arms and carried me home.

At home,my mum started recollecting the old theory; ''All fingers are not equal'' into my memories.She said that right from childhood she had been noticing me that i did not want to believe in the adage that says "Remember the son of whom you are''

Athough i realised that my mum was right about her theory ''All fingers are not equal'',i feel bitter any time i remember the incident because i learnt my leason the hard way.