I survived the storm

“She’ll never make it” that’s what they said. I just lost my Mammy Bam as God called her Home, a few months before the most horrific accident imaginable. My Mammy was my rock, my hero, my friend. She was always there, she held my hand through it all. I still remember holding her hand telling her it’s okay to let go. It’s okay I’ll be alright. It’s okay to go. She closed her eyes one last time a few hours later and took her last breath. She left this world. My heart was broken.

Things were coming back together going back to normal then …

Then the call came that Wednesday night….

“Something happened to your grandma”(my other grandmother). ….. that’s all I heard. My mom and her went on a bus trip that day. I heard that fear and panic in my moms voice I knew it was bad. I drove as fast as I could. As soon I made the turn to her house it was a scene from a movie. It was fire trucks…ambulance… state police… lights… cars everywhere. From that point. It’s all vague. I parked my car and I remember I was grabbed and told don’t go there. I screamed she’s my grandma she needs me. The medics gave me oxygen. Took me to my mom. There I saw what I wish on no one. A sheet covering a body. I said “let me help I can help her” I insisted I could save her. But she was gone. I stood and vomited. I didn’t believe it. I didn’t even say goodbye. Who the hell has to go through this. What sick person did this to her. “What exactly happened” I screamed.

State police tried to me explain to me she was hit crossing the street and died. When soon the driver of the car approaches and wants to talk. I thought you seriously want to talk. You just killed my grandma ! The coroner wants to know her medical conditions. Everyone looks at me. I’m the only one who knows her history. Soon my Uncle Bill comes he said he knew what happened. Years ago his brother was killed by a baseball just across from where his sister was now killed. The look in his face makes everything just harder. We try to talk to him but he says he will be ok. Slowly the family starts to leave the scene. The coroner asks us to go in the house while he removes the body. We find her shoe, watch and necklace laying. I still think to myself what sick bastard does this. The emergency personnel start to leave and I cannot leave. I still cannot walk away I cannot leave I still think it’s a dream. Finally my brother grabs me and said let’s go.

I wake up the next morning. Nothing has changed. We have to bury her. We have to do a closed coffin. I put her in her red dress. I cannot see her I cannot say goodbye. I screamed and shouted at God why ! You took Mammy and grandma who is gonna help me !

I go to the funeral home to put things out. They are talking about the funeral the injuries I don’t hear it I won’t. I was just hear to bury my Mammy Bam. I refuse to do this all again. I’m being stubborn and angry. I’m mad. When I just feel this breeze I know to calm down. I feel my angel is with me.

The days passed. The funeral ended. We start to tie things up. I felt myself survive the storm. This storm I didn’t think I’d make I made it.

God decided to give me two angels to wither the storm.