I’m pregnant, mom

Growing up, there’s nothing a child wants to do more than to make their parents proud. Duh. At some point I thought it would be me to do so. I have 3 other siblings, my brother has the kindest soul serving for our country, my sister is a real estate beauty, and my little sister is the epitome of beauty and brains. Me? The hardest thing I had to do was crush my mother’s image of me. Of who she wanted me to be. I kept hidden for 4 months that I was pregnant, still in high school, at 18 years old, with no plans, no future. She cried to me about my options but I was already attached to my baby. In one of our biggest fights, I said everything and anything but I forgot to tell you one thing. When I found out I was going to be a mother, it took me back to the days where you gave up your food for me and my siblings. When you had to sleep on the floor so we can sleep on the mattress. Or when you made the extra effort to buy us something we wanted even though the price was a little on the higher end. Being a mother means to be selfless and yes I am scared. I’m scared I won’t be a mother like you, there’s no one in this world I want to be like more than you. I know the news was hard for you, it took you a while to come around. I’m glad that you did. I wanted your support more than anything in this world because I know you can make me feel okay. Like I’m a little baby again. As I get older, as YOU get older, all I want to do is make you happy, give you everything you deserve, and pay you back for being the best mother. Talking to you about my feelings hasn’t been the easiest after the news about the baby. I hope we can continue to grow our relationship, now that we will both be mothers.

This is also the time to confess that I will be choosing the name you like for my baby’s middle name. I have teased you so much about it but I wanted to honor you. We will soon welcome to this world.. Kai Liam Montiel. You will find out the day of but for now, it’s a secret between me and the community. This will for sure make you happy xx. I love you and I hope that one day, I can accomplish the dreams you had for me. Thank you for being here. I love you mommy.

List of things I kept in secret too

- The guy who came out of our house in which I said I didn’t know was actually my boyfriend at the time (still is)

- I was the one who broke your blush pallet. Sorry.

- Lied about the stray newborn kitten only staying at our home until I find owners (made up in my head that we were keeping him). But now thanks to me you love Tommy.

- There were definitely some days I said I was working but lied to hang out with my boyfriend which you didn’t know about at the time.

- May have lied about a big bug in my room so I can sleep in your queen sized bed.

- Would drink your wine at random times then act like I don’t who was finishing your bottle.

- Kissed you on your forehead whenever I would wake up first.