I'll NEVER BE THE SAME

Sometimes things aren't always what they appear to be. I'll tell you about something that happened to me. This is a part of my life I don't like to look back at, but if you're curious to know I will share with you. I had a best friend way back, that I met when I was a young girl about 6. She was a beautiful girl . Ella was her name. I'll never forget her smile. It was one of them smiles you see still when you close your eyes. Ella and I started school together. I remember our first day in kindergarten. Mrs. Branch our teacher, always smelled like sweet vanilla. Ella and I experienced all of our young years into our early teenage years together. We went to high school together and we had a crush on the same guy. We both lost our virginity on Prom Night. I'll never forget the late nights that we stayed up eating sweets and telling some of the deepest secrets a young beautiful soul has stored away. I loved her like she was my sister. what makes somebody your sister? Because I don't think you could be any closer to a human being than I was with Ella. The sad part of the story is we didn't make it into the same College, and she went off one way and I went the other. We kept in contact with letters and phone calls, but that only kept for so long. And a short 2 years I realized I completely lost contact with her. One night my heart was bleeding ripped wide-open missing her. I was having some problems in life, my new life and I needed her. It absolutely broke my heart that I had no way of reaching her. I'd feel like a fool to call her parents or my parents to try to reconnect. Just as there is a sad part there is the beginning of what one might call the beginning of a fairy tale. I'm met this charming handsome Extraordinary tall drink of water, he went by the name Eleven. When I first laid eyes on him I felt my heart in my throat and I knew I just needed to know his name. After a few drinks I had the courage that my heart forced me to have, and I went and introduced myself. That was the greatest mistake of my life. and just that one conversation I fell in love with this God sending angel. He treated me like royalty. One thing I loved about him was he never had a mask that fell off, he stayed this amazing miracle that he was from the day that I met him. So about a year-and-a-half into our relationship, and we were laying in bed holding each other after having passionate love, working on the Love Child Of Our Lives, he turns me over and holds my face looking deeply in my eyes. And for a strange second it felt too familiar. so familiar it got uncomfortable. Then Eleven asked me if I would always love him no matter what? I just knew by the tone of his voice, I was about to have a ton of bricks fall on me. Eleven then with a single teardrop falling down his cheek, he proceeds to tell me one of his deepest secrets his soul has stored away. After he told me he would love me for the rest of his life as well as mine no matter what, he told me that he is my best friend Ella. E\even said he'd always been in love with me and knowing all of my deepest Secrets Eleven knew girls were not my thing. I don't know if this is the sweetest thing I've ever seen or the most disgusting. With this person that has my heart in the palm of his hand, confessing to deceiving me in the most unthinkable way. I know what I would do if I would have known what this in the beginning, But Eleven has my heart now. Where do I find the strength in me to leave? When the one my heart craves has a river of tears begging me to stay. This is not what I thought it was and I will never be the same.