Dinner

Being young and getting with an alcoholic you don't realize all the challenges you're going to experience. I was a popular girl, with many friends, a cheerleading squad, pep band, and many other activities. That all changed around the age of 17. I became sheltered with no friends, focused on the one and only alcoholic. I think after you put up with so much, you become weaker and weaker, you become brainwashed. You believe all those things he has told you for so many years you begin to believe you are worthless and can't do anything correctly, and no one else would want you, and you are a complete failure. I thought this was okay though because this was with the person I believed I loved. At that time in my life, I thought that was important. There was a night that he and I decided to go out have a dinner date. This was a very embarrassing night. I had no idea it was going to be like this. I still think about him from time to time. we were in a restaurant, we were actually enjoying our time together. I was happy and excited, I need a good night with him. Then an argument started, I had opened my mouth about his drinking and asked him to stop. I regretted saying something the moment the words came out of my mouth. In the middle of the restaurant full of people, he started screaming and yelling telling me I was a worthless bitch, a fat bitch that he couldn't stand. People were watching his every move, I was crying. He proceeded by throwing his drink across the restaurant. As he stood up he flipped the table, I had jumped out of the way, he was headed for the door. I was behind his trying to calm him down, apologizing for my actions and now regretting bringing up anything. As he got close to the car he speeded up jumped in, and locked the doors fast. I was knocking on the glass begging for him to let me in. Thinking no way he was going to drive off. Then off he went left me there standing in the middle of the parking lot. He left me there, an hour drive away from home no cell phones at the time. I started walking I was crying nowhere to go or anyone to call. My mother and I at the time didn't talk, because she disliked him very much, and no money. I walked for hours and hours, finally got some change from someone at the gas station so I could make a call from a payphone. my sister-in-law answered the phone. I told her what had happened and ask her to come to get me. I told her I would continue walking until I met up with her. she finally arrived, we talked on the way home but nowhere to go. I had to go right back to him. When I got home, I walked in the door and he was laying on the couch and started laughing ask me how I got my fat ass home. He said I thought I finally got rid of your fat ass. I continued to cry, he wouldn't let me leave him but, tormented me at the same time. It was embarrassing and heartbreaking that the person I thought I loved would do this. I forgave him once again. All because I was a kid in love, or what I thought was love. I thought about leaving him so many times but, when I did he would make my life a living hell.