Lizzy Allen
Bio
When you are at your points in life, is it defeat and failures? Failures are only lessons so you can get to your highest achievements with knowing how to succeed.
Stories (7)
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a cheap vacation
I needed some time away. I am trying to find myself. I lost myself so many years ago trying to make everyone happy but me. So, one late night when I was lying in bed, I decided to drive to Daytona Beach because, hey, I'm off for a couple of days. So I asked my twins, who are teenage girls if they wanted to go. Of course, they wanted to go. Who doesn't want to lie on the beach and take all the troubles off our minds? I don't have lots of money. I'm a single mother of three. This had to be a cheap trip. We decided if we couldn't get a cheap hotel for under 100 dollars, we would spend the day on the beach and sleep in the car for a little bit if we had to. And then head back home. So I was lucky and found a hotel for cheap and it just happened to still be open. We bought all the food we could before we left and took one outfit plus our swimming suits. We headed to the gas station to fill up the car and left out for our carefree days. I drove from 8 that night until 11 that next morning. We arrived at the hotel. We were four hours early, but I had an idea, so we didn't have to pay to spend time on the beach before we checked in. So I walked into the hotel and told the woman. "I know we can't check until three," but I asked if there was any way I could go ahead and park here at the hotel and get to the beach. She explained that you couldn't check in until three o'clock. But since you are going to be staying here, you are more than welcome to park here and head to the beach. We had stopped at a rest area in Georgia and switched our clothing. So we were ready for the sand, sunshine, and the ocean. So we laid and played on and on the beach from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m.This was so much fun with my girls. This was the first time I got to spend alone time and learn about them. Life is always passing us by, but in those two days, I learned more about my children than I had in the previous month. It was all about them and me. We slept that night in the hotel and the next day when we woke up we had pop tarts for breakfast. Then we laid by the pool tanning, went back out to the beach, and played in it before our departure and that evening we left. Just like that. These 2 days were the greatest 2 days I have had in some time. My getaway and the amazing time I had with my girls cost me a total of four hundred dollars. A lot of people think they can't make these trips. I wanted to show anyone how to do things cheaply and in a fun way. The only painful thing was me driving the whole 12 hours. I did make it down without any rest time. I stopped at every other rest area. It was refreshing for me and my girls. I lay on the beach for hours and got to think about life and what can make me and my family happy. The hotel was only 78 dollars and it was not a bad hotel at all. So I do give Sea escape so much credit. It was clean and very friendly. From the outside, it looked a little rough and it was very old, but I wasn't there to be in the hotel and when I did approach our room and opened the door, it was very clean and smelled great. I was there to lay on the beach anyways and clear my mind and enjoy my children. That's exactly what we got to do and enjoy family time.
By Lizzy Allen5 years ago in Families
Dinner
Being young and getting with an alcoholic you don't realize all the challenges you're going to experience. I was a popular girl, with many friends, a cheerleading squad, pep band, and many other activities. That all changed around the age of 17. I became sheltered with no friends, focused on the one and only alcoholic. I think after you put up with so much, you become weaker and weaker, you become brainwashed. You believe all those things he has told you for so many years you begin to believe you are worthless and can't do anything correctly, and no one else would want you, and you are a complete failure. I thought this was okay though because this was with the person I believed I loved. At that time in my life, I thought that was important. There was a night that he and I decided to go out have a dinner date. This was a very embarrassing night. I had no idea it was going to be like this. I still think about him from time to time. we were in a restaurant, we were actually enjoying our time together. I was happy and excited, I need a good night with him. Then an argument started, I had opened my mouth about his drinking and asked him to stop. I regretted saying something the moment the words came out of my mouth. In the middle of the restaurant full of people, he started screaming and yelling telling me I was a worthless bitch, a fat bitch that he couldn't stand. People were watching his every move, I was crying. He proceeded by throwing his drink across the restaurant. As he stood up he flipped the table, I had jumped out of the way, he was headed for the door. I was behind his trying to calm him down, apologizing for my actions and now regretting bringing up anything. As he got close to the car he speeded up jumped in, and locked the doors fast. I was knocking on the glass begging for him to let me in. Thinking no way he was going to drive off. Then off he went left me there standing in the middle of the parking lot. He left me there, an hour drive away from home no cell phones at the time. I started walking I was crying nowhere to go or anyone to call. My mother and I at the time didn't talk, because she disliked him very much, and no money. I walked for hours and hours, finally got some change from someone at the gas station so I could make a call from a payphone. my sister-in-law answered the phone. I told her what had happened and ask her to come to get me. I told her I would continue walking until I met up with her. she finally arrived, we talked on the way home but nowhere to go. I had to go right back to him. When I got home, I walked in the door and he was laying on the couch and started laughing ask me how I got my fat ass home. He said I thought I finally got rid of your fat ass. I continued to cry, he wouldn't let me leave him but, tormented me at the same time. It was embarrassing and heartbreaking that the person I thought I loved would do this. I forgave him once again. All because I was a kid in love, or what I thought was love. I thought about leaving him so many times but, when I did he would make my life a living hell.
By Lizzy Allen5 years ago in Confessions
DVD
We were young and didn't have any children yet, so we always let his sister and brother come over to stay the night. We would play video games, watch movies, and ate popcorn and we made the most out of the night. Just fun nights. One night I rented a DVD from blockbuster for us as we usually did, It was to be returned within the next two days. I went out for work that morning and I had forgotten to grab the DVD, no big deal, I thought. Oh, how wrong I was about that! I came home from work that night, his sister seen me come home and ran across the street to my house wanting to hang out. I was the cool sister-in-law, and I liked the company, Plus he was already drinking and he was already drunk. His sister and I were sitting on the couch, she was telling me about her day and we were laughing and giggling, he heard us. He couldn't stand seeing me happy it was like he would hit me on purpose so my laughing would immediately turn it into crying. He was walking toward the living room and he had seen the DVD and started yelling, I said "I'll take it back tomorrow" he immediately started swinging at me and grabbed me by the neck, choking me. DVD in one hand and my neck in the other, the DVD case went across my face while he was still choking me, I begged and pleaded for him to stop, and by this time I was crying the DVD going across my face over and over again. It felt like the last time he did it as hard as he possibly could, by this time my face felt numb. So numb I started to not be able to feel what was happening at the time. I had thought that it was almost over but then I realized that this is just the beginning of my suffering. Keep it in mind that his sister was still there watching us, she was crying as suspected, because she didn't know what to do or what was happening at the moment. I do remember her asking for him to stop, it was just a DVD, as this happened he just began to get angrier. He still had his hand gripping my throat, he slammed my head into the wall so hard and my head busted through the wall and I was begging him to stop, I couldn't breathe. I was so cautious of what might happen next "I said take back the DVD!" he said, at this moment his sister was so scared she took off running home. I thought to myself that she might have run to go get help, Thank my lucky stars! My head in the wall, his hand around my neck choking me, I was thinking that she finally ran to go get help. He finally took the DVD case and slammed it to the wall 2 inches away from my head, he released my neck and said "Take back the DVD now." It was finally over and come to find out his sister had run across the street into the room because she was so scared to tell anyone including her parents of what happened and what he was doing. I was heartbroken but understood at the same time. She was just a child and for a child that would be a lot to handle and comprehend what happened. I thought someone finally seeing his true personality and seeing his true colors was going to help me. The next day his sister walked up to me and looked me in the eyes and said "I am sorry, I was so scared and I didn't know what to do, I'm so sorry".
By Lizzy Allen5 years ago in Confessions
Family
I was driving as a job, actually loved this experience because I met so many different variations of people. One night I picked up this man, as I was picking him up I said to him, "You can ride up in the front if you would like. He replied, "Yes I would like that." I had picked up so many men, not a thought crossed my mind about it. As we were chatting on this 15-minute drive to his destination, I was amazed at how much chemistry we had. He had such a great sense of humor, I had not laughed with happiness in so long. It felt great. As I looked at the GPS the ride was coming to an end, I didn't want it to end but I was not brave enough to say anything either. We continued laughing as I was pulling up to his house my mind was racing through ideas to see him again. I had it, once we said our goodbyes before I ended the Uber. I sent a message saying "Phone number"?Hoping he got it. I went home and told my children that I had met an amazing man tonight that caught my attention. I told them "This is my guy". He is who I want. I had an incredible feeling about this. I wait for hours for a phone call. But received nothing that night. The next morning I will never forget 8 a.m. The phone was ringing, I never answered my phone in the morning or when I was half asleep. I answered It was him I was so excited. I woke my children up to tell them he called. I had a date and this felt so incredible, this was my guy, I never have felt this way. They say when you know; you just know. Two months into this relationship we were sitting outside on the front porch. He told me many of the obstacles that were in front of him. I took a deep breath wondering if I was strong enough for those obstacles. We went to bed that night and that was all I could think about. Can I handle this? I decided yes, I cared for him as I have never cared for anyone before. We had challenges for the next year, but I always said "We get the bad out of the way and the rest would be a breeze" Little did I know the following year was going to be my hardest, As I felt everything was finally coming together when we were sitting in the bedroom one night after all the obstacles we made it through, he was my best friend, love, my hope, and my happiness. He said to me "I need to go and I need to be by myself for a while, My own place". accepted all of these challenges, and I still stand beside him and respect his choice. I have no regrets. I hope he sees all of the things I have accepted and how much I love him. He gave not only me but my children the best two years we could ask for, I wait for this to be another obstacle to overcome. As we all sit here patiently and wait for him to come back home. Through all of these drawbacks and problems, I still see how much he has helped me and my family progress and we see how important he is and how he has helped us all become better people. We want him to overcome this obstacle and so we can be a family and finally see how much we have impacted each other's lives and how important one another is to each other. Throughout all of these drawbacks, I see how important he is to us and how he has shaped our family into the people we are today. How that has made us better people and in the end, I have no regrets. We want him to come back after this and finish what we started together.
By Lizzy Allen5 years ago in Confessions
Being Strong
I had come home one evening to a very abusive alcoholic, I had just finished working a total of sixteen hours. I had always worked two jobs since I was very young, because he could not hold a job down nor did he want to. We had three children together and I had to be able to support my family and was going to do whatever was needed to do just that. As I walked through the front door, I took my shoes off and went to sit in the recliner. This was a routine for me, from being on my feet all day. My three children ran over giving hugs and loving's to me as they had missed me throughout the day. Their father walks past me and looks at me as he's walking down the hallway nothing out of the ordinary. It was a hot night that night. As I looked at their father he had a sweatshirt on with shorts, I found it odd being such a hot evening but said nothing, just thought that it was weird, but honestly not another thought came to my head about it. Their dad was walking back up the hallway toward me, I could see him out of the corner of my eye. As he started walking toward me again, he was smooth I didn't even know what was about to happen. He got right in front of me like he was going to walk passed me, then all of a sudden swung around and grabbed a fist full of my hair. In front of our three children he began to punch me over and over again. I had lifted my arm trying to protect my face, I was only hit in the face hard one time. I could feel the blood running from my nose to my lip down my chin. My cheek was throbbing and a huge knot on the side of my head. All of this was instantly, I didn't even know what was going on. I was crying, fighting his every move trying to figure out what was my next move. My children and I had this routine where if any fights broke out they would get my keys and go to the car, lock the doors until they saw me coming. Once I could get free I would be there and we would leave. This night was a rough one, after he quit hitting me repeatedly, he wrapped his hands around my hair and was pulling me down the hallway, I was crying and he said to me face to face, not scared to hurt me. Their dad said I have this long-sleeve shirt on because I filled the bathtub up full of water to drown you and with this long sleeve on you will not be able to scratch me or my arms. Then I started screaming and fighting to get free, but it wasn't enough. I was scared, scared I was going to get drowned in the bathtub. I was tired of hurting and struggling with this pain, so many times I wanted it to end I thought this was it. As he pushed my head under water he was cussing and yelling. he pushed my head under the water again and he was so close to me, I could hear his words as my head was under the water it was very muffled but I could hear him. As he went to lift my head again, I was close enough I slammed my head back against his and busted his nose. His hands went up to his face, this was my moment to run. I ran to toward the back door opened it as fast as I could and ran for the car. My son had it the unlock as he saw me running toward him. I jumped in the car and started it and we left. Knowing this time I wasn't coming back this was my final drawl. I would take my chances of letting him track us down. We did drive by a week later and he had taken all our personal belongings or anything of ours and lit it on fire right there in my front yard. As hurt as I was to see our belonging burnt. It was the easiest move I could do. So we turned around, not knowing where we were headed it was the beginning of happiness.
By Lizzy Allen5 years ago in Motivation
Today
As I woke up this morning heart broken and sad, I tell myself I am the only person to change how I feel. Life has thrown so many challenges at me and so far I have crawled out of every deep dark hole I've been in. They say only the strong can survive sometimes I don't feel strong at all I feel weak, I feel so venerable but, I'm still standing so I got to be strong right. As look in the mirror and see my reflection, I say today is going to be a different, I'm going to let the heartbreak go and let go of the sadness and build happiness with my children. I don't want them to see negativity. I want them to learn the same as I am trying to learn, I want them to turn negatives into positives as well. This is for their future, for any mother out there we never want to see our children suffer with sadness. As I'm looking into my reflection I know other women are out there suffering the same as I have, I have conquered my past of abuse, mentally, physically, and verbally. It has taken me a long time to become who I have become. I lost myself many years ago thinking I had to stay for my children. But I am here to encourage and help anyone I can man or woman. I have learned how to delete any negatives out of my life, this can conclude people and social media. Anytime a negative person, quote, and comment is said to me I try I delete it right away, that saying in one ear out the other. That's right, I pretend I didn't even hear it. If there is a negative around it will automatically have you thinking negative and change your mood. Delete the comment or even the person. To be happy, you have to hang around happy people that have similar goals as you. Rewire your brain or redirect your thinking, these will be benefits to your life and bring positivity and happiness. We all fall down but with just a couple of the right people around we have the support and strength to get right back up. In today's world people fall and that's it, they failed and can't move forward. you have to look at failure as a lesson learned. Its like a log in the road you have to move it to continue driving, we get up, get out and we move it and then we continue our journey. Nothing is going to stop us from happiness. So, today as you read this set yourself a goal of two weeks of blocking out negativity, Do whatever you got to do to steer clear of negative people, thoughts, comments and social media See how you feel after two weeks of nothing but, happy people laughter and happy thoughts. It changes your perspective on so many valuable things in life. One last thing before I end this today. My daughter came to me a week ago and said mom I know how I want to dress but no one dresses like that, I said delete your social media and quit looking at these women you want to dress like, because you are not shaped like them, you do not look like these models or these girls your age. Later that night I was out driving and she had text me and said guess what mom, I said what is it darling, she said I deleted my social media because I want to be me. I'm going to dress like I want to dress and listen to the music I like and I'm going to be happy how I want to be happy. This made me smile, she has now recently dressed how she wants and seems happier not competing with the girls and women on social media. This was her first sign of happiness. Being herself.
By Lizzy Allen5 years ago in Families
Despair
First, when I tell these stories I don't do it for sympathy, I have made bad choice in my life. I tell these stories to help anyone who thinks they can't escape their situations. One night I came home from work and he was watching the kids, which I believe the kids kind of watch themselves to be honest. Sad but true. Again drunk he had this thing where he would tell me to come here. He would do this to hurt me and not in front of our kids I always knew what I was walking into but it would be worse if I didn't just go in there, I can't even tell you how this started, the fight escalated so fast sometimes I didn't even know what was going on. Somehow he had got me down on the floor and was on top of me choking me I believe this is the one true time I thought that I was going to die, I thought for a moment I was gasping for my last breath I thought for sure it was. I really am dying, going out like this. Life really does pass through your mind when you think you are about to die, I was laying there thinking about my babies I had a son that was about five at this time, and my twin girls about three, I was begging for help, as sad as it sounds I had written letters out to my children months before telling them I was sorry if I wasn't strong enough to make it through one of these rough times. I had thought about these notes and was thankful I wrote them. Then I believe I was heard begging for help. I took a deep breathe for air and couldn't get it with my eyes closed and said "I love you" with all my heart, about that time my son busted through the door and seen his daddy hurting m.He jumped on his back hitting him, my son repeating himself "Quit hurting my Mommy" I could see his little hand swinging back and forth hitting his dad with all of his might, trying to protect me. That was enough to make his dad turn around and push my son off, I leaned up as far as I could open my mouth and bit his dad so hard on the chest, I could taste the blood in my mouth. I then turned to tell my son to run as fast as he could. I got free because he was worried about his chest and I grabbed my daughters and ran. When I got to the car my son kept saying "Mommy go! Mommy go!" and continues to say "I got your keys, I did good right?". I put them in the car and said "Yes baby, You did good.". Still today as I write this, I cry wishing I didn't put my kids through this. I had always thought of these of negative experiences, but this was building up strength for me to leave and prove that we would be happy and successful. I was going to work ten times harder to prove to my kids we could be happy, and show them that life is better than I was providing for them at this time. The things my children went through made them grow up so much faster than children there age. This hurts from time to time, but my children are happy then they have ever been. The best thing about the obstacles we went through my children never look at failure just little defeats. So they push themselves for those extra achievements, the don't ever judge anyone because they know behind those smiles may be a person seriously hurting but, strong like they had to be.
By Lizzy Allen5 years ago in Families
