Dating in the 21st Century

Dating in the 21st Century is quite interesting to say the least, not having an adequate understanding of the lingo can definitely prove determintal to oneself. Self doubt and insecurities will stumble some from venturing out into this society because of fear of embarrassing oneself. Myself a chocolate girl living in a big city, where EY SHAWWTY is a normal call, makes stepping out, a bit more frightening. Learning to step out of my comfort zone and date outside my race is something I’ve also, found quite challenging. In this day and age, we live amongst a creative mixture of people. This is definitely no longer our Grandmother/GrandFather ways of dating! Everything has changed and it’s important to be able to adapt to the changes around us. Myself brought up with a Southern background. I have always been taught that a man is suppose to approach the woman, take her out on dates and be the one to foot the bill for the activities decided on attending for the night.

Let me be the first to tell you, if you haven’t already noticed, things have definitely evolved. Women are sending drinks to men, paying for dates, stepping to men they find attractive and having one night stands on the regular. Understanding all of this makes dating intimidating, however, once you have mustered the courage to ask out your unsuspecting victim, now comes the investigation part. Dating this person and getting to know if he/she has the potential to be in a lasting relationship, or a short term fling, a one night stand, or maybe even a friends with benefits situation. In order to find out which category your new found relationship falls under there are a series of questions and test one must ask and undertake to understand what category y’all may end up in.

When starting a new situationsip(what we will call it for now) we should ask questions that get straight to the point and leave nothing unturned. Do you have any children, if so, how many? Are you married? Do you live with anyone? Are you in, or does anyone consider to be in a relationship with you? What is your Birthdate, Birth Place and Birth Time? Are you looking to get into something serious? Have you taken a recent STD test? Are you HIV negative/positive? Are you finacially stable right now? Are you Bisexual? Now with just those few questions you can determine what type of situation you will be dealing with and if you would like to move forward with the relationship.

Once it has been decided you have found this individual likable enough to hangout with, now comes the part of deciding if this is a person to take home to meet the parents, or if it’s just a short term fling. Determining this comes with a series of test that have to be administered. The goal is to have a better understanding of the character of this person to comprehend who you ‘re actually dealing with. I’ve always enjoyed offering to drive on a first date and placing $40 in a cup on the passenger side door. Nobody wants to date a thief! I also like leaving money scattered around in the glove box. The test is at the end of the night if all money is accounted for then you have the understanding you are dating a somewhat, trustworthy person!

Another test that I’ve always found interesting is bringing your date around a group of friends, that already understand the assignment. Which gives you the opportunity to see how your unsuspecting date handles themselves. If he/she is overly friendly and ends up passing out his/her number to one of your friends, just know this is not someone you should take seriously. I’ve also found the movie date test to be a nice start. This is a chance to see if your dating a cheapskate and gives you insight on what type of dinner date you can expect. The movie date test goes a little something like this: you take your date to the movies and order at least $60 worth of junk food if he doesn’t complain and pays, he/she is somebody you shouldn’t mind splitting the bills with for dinner. A guy/girl that doesn’t sweat the small stuff is definitely a keeper. One more test which allows you to see if your dealing with a gentlemen is the Valet test. Once you arrive at the restaurant you pull straight into Valet. If he offers to pay, you know he is a gentlemen. It also gives you a preview of how to order once inside the restaurant.

Nowadays these tactics may seem like you’re doing a little to much, however, I would rather understand what I’m dealing with now, instead of being depressed and sorry later. I understand that not everything is as it seems but at least giving yourself a little insight while out here dating, allows you to keep ur mind and heart in check. Properly prepared and having a good understanding beforehand of what one may be jumping into is the new norm for dating! Take my advice and thank me later, Au revoir.