Closet Of Shame

Coming of the closet is the most dreaded day every gay person has to deal with once or more in their life. After realizing I'm gay in high school, the only comfort I received was from watching "Coming out" videos on the internet. I heard numerous stories about how their coming out went better than they expected but most of them were sad and scary. But mine is embarrassing.

It started on a Saturday evening. I was sitting in the living room surfing through the great World Wide Web as usual when suddenly, my body was getting hot and bothered so I stood up went to my room, and laid down. As I typing the site I usually go to, I received a message saying that my cellular data has exceeded its limit, "Really? right now!" I said annoyingly. I stood up again and went to the kitchen where my mother was. I found her slicing a green type of vegetable for dinner and I asked her if I could use her phone for a moment and she said yes. I don't really use my parent's mobile to do stuff like this but I had no choice I just needed it to be over. Again, I typed the site and took my time watching two guys making love but right in the middle of the video I accidentally pressed the side button and turned off the phone. I pressed the button again and the phone was asking for a passcode!

"Oh crap!" I whisper

Different kinds of emotions went through me as I slowly panicked. I tried guessing the passcode starting with her birthday but it failed. I tried putting the most commonly used passcode, one, two, three, four, and surprise, surprise, it did not work. After having six failed passcode attempts automatically, I was locked out of the phone. I was having a full-blown panic as I anxiously paced around my room waiting for the phone to open again. Just as the phone opened I heard my mother calling my name.

"Five minutes!" I shouted back

Five minutes later she called out my name again and angrily asking for her phone.

"Well, this is it. My life is over." I said

I walked from my bedroom to the kitchen like a chicken walking into a fast-food chain, ready to be slaughtered and be cooked. I stood behind a little island and fearfully asked for her password but she said no and asked why. I gave her the reason that I need to exit out my social media account but she said, "My hands are busy, stand by my side and use the face ID."

I said in my head, "Oh god, help.

I planned to quickly flip the phone down when it opens but that did not happen. When the phone opened, a deep manly moan blasted in our faces. My mother saw everything that was happening on screen! A great shame covered my entire body! At that moment, I was wishing for the earth to just open up and swallow me alive.

I looked at her expecting to be disgusted but to my surprise, she was laughing. "I already know you're gay, your iPhone is synced to my iPad, I know the stuff you watch and I know the type of guys you like, with beards right?" she said while laughing.

Everything turned out well that night and the weight on my shoulder surely was gone. I can't thank the universe enough for letting that happened and for giving me a great mother. I know, not every gay person will receive the kind of support I have right now but I know things will get better.

I am still embarrassed by this story but I have no regrets.