A Dim Light In A Broken Sun

Man it's been a minute since I spoke to you face book. Life has surprises you wouldn't expect to be a blessing even if it hurts to understand. Misunderstood or understood missed really takes a toll on the true intentions a deep spirit has for the whole band. Lights stuck flickering in the restroom when you realize theirs no room to rest. You have to get up and go do much more than your best, you have family that counts on you to bring back the bag. This life is much smoother when your not stuck up in the past. Left to make a future with a different vision wishing you could paint the mission in the sky.

I had a dream as well something like martin Luther, the difference is it's 2021 where the tech is what took over the future. Interaction with others is awkward Corona done took over the year. The stress on the vessels popping out next to my pupil doesn't mean I'm stressed to the one I once saw as my blessing , my rest, my key to it all my Queen. So i thought yet deceived in multiple ways, multiple times to deliever what she believed have yet to be received her message of wrath in her shine. Dragging a king through her roller coaster ride down resentment like it hasn't been clear enough multiple times yet I chose her. Multiple times I chose her not just cause of what/who we shared, been through, and done together. I chose her to represent apart of me I could count on. Until the pain we shared in a apartment 25 spilled out onto the public, on to her cousins messages, on to her mom, on to anyone willing to see the victim and not the suspect in her that made us done forever.

Love bug?

I could see all respect was gone, loyalty burned cause she looked for comfort in a home of another man's approach. In her mind he was just a friend and nothing more. He was a gentalman so she didnt mind friending him, but kept it from the same person she once considered her king the best part. How did we end up back here funny thing cause e.n.d was the initals in her name no cliche or coincidence. Blessed with the heart of a sheep the soul of a lion I gave up my love up for hers to be shot from behind and in the face. Brutaly stabbed in the chest and told I'm out of line and out of time. That it was too late she was stuck in her new ways. Sworn she was never understood for a long time (7 was going on 8) to be exact. I'm more than what was left of me thanks to time.

What was left wasn't enough to change the perspective in her eyes. The comfort was gone. Left to see what options are available cause her reality is the fantasy that came to an end from the beginning. All the hate and pain flared from within em. Us not realizing that it was over before and way too late now. The only one to live with the fact that the effort made to be the change wanted to be seen was way beyond the reach at that point. The bills left her with no peace or room to listen to needs or wants cause hers wasn't being met. Claim she needed time to adapt just a month. when what she really ment was your forever in her debt aint no fixing this sun.

Life poured right into the sink and I'm the one to blame not them. I shined a dim light at the wrong sun. The one she blames for her new ways of being has permanetly set the tone to the olds. Needless to say that the perfect way given was a dim light in a broken son.