An End of Gods & Dust: ACT V

“Courage is the strength in the face of knowledge of what is to be feared or hoped. Wisdom is prudent strength.” - Atul Gawande

They returned with the water intact, but there was no relief to be had.

Once inside the cave Kokuo was immediately drawn to where Selene lay, her short silver hair plastered to her paling skin. Like every other apostle in their group, Selene carried an otherworldly appearance - bright colored hair, glittering skin, and eyes with a soft, inner light.

In Selene’s gray eyes, however, that light was very, very dim.

“Selene, how are you feeling?” Kokuo asked, walking to the end of the cave and kneeling next to her makeshift mattress of old, tattered clothes and dried plants.

Her eyes were half-closed, and she looked weak, but at least she didn’t seem to be in pain anymore. Her arms, chest, waist, and one leg were entirely wrapped with cloth and plastered with medicinal herbs to help keep infection away. Most of her golden blood was cleaned up, but there were still some dried blotches on the bandages and the sandy cave floor.

Selene smiled slightly at Kokuo’s voice. “Better. Ourania is truly a miracle worker.”

Kokuo returned the smile - impossible to resist with Selene’s sing-song voice. She had always been the most gentle among them, despite her apostle status. Even her power, which Kokuo had only ever seen once, manifested itself like a dance; her golden blood weaving around her like a ribbon undulating in the wind.

Selene alone had changed Kokuo’s perspective on apostles, who - while favored by the gods - had been notorious for abusing their divine powers to force non-believers into their fold. Because of her, Kokuo now knew that most apostles were as they were always meant to be: protectors of humankind.

It had always been the smallest, loudest groups that made the most change in perception, much to Kokuo’s disappointment.

“Can I get you anything? We brought the water back, so you can quench your thirst if needed,” he offered.

Selene’s eyes moved beyond Kokuo’s shoulder. “You risked yourself for this?”

Kokuo turned to see Karra standing a bit behind, arms crossed, her clothes caked in dust and sand. She kept her facial expression under tight control, but at Selene’s question, her sharp brow softened a bit upon her dark skin. “I…couldn't let your hard work go to waste.”

Selene’s smile grew. “Crazy…or perhaps the bravest among us?”

Karra let out an exasperated snort and turned her gaze away from Selene’s.

Selene returned her attention to Kokuo. “Yes, actually…there is someone you can get me. I need to see Leto. Do your best not to wake the others.”

It only took a few moments for Kokuo to rouse the young Leto from his nap. The apostle-in-training never seemed to sleep deeply. His green eyes were still haunted from what they had seen outside, but he gave Selene rapt attention as he took Kokuo’s spot next to where she lay.

Kokuo stood to his left, while Karra sat down against the cave wall, leaning her arms on her knees.

“Leto…” Selene reached out with a shaking hand, which Leto took readily. “Has your golden blood manifested yet?”

Leto shook his head. “Still red as a cherry, Ms. Selene.”

Selene patted the top of his hand with her fingers. “Then it is not too late to stop this training…to remain human.”

Leto looked wide-eyed at her, then over his shoulder at Kokuo, before responding. “I - why would I stop? Humanity needs apostles more than ever before. That’s what you said.”

“I did, but opinions change. Apostles…cannot bear children. We age in accordance with the stars, not the sun nor the moon. It is a price I know you accepted when you became my student…but with the state of the world -”

“What are you trying to say, Selene?” Leto sounded truly bewildered. Afraid.

Selene’s smile dropped from her face, and the glow that was waning from her eyes flared just enough to depict the light of a silvery, setting sun. “I’m saying that this world is still worth fighting for…even as a mortal.”

“But mortals need -”

“Don’t…need our protection,” Selene interrupted, her expression one of stout seriousness - something Kokuo had never seen upon her generally gentle and kind face. “What they need now is hope amidst this Chaos, and the apostles cannot inspire hope like humans need.

Go forth, live, fall in love, have children - show them that this world of dust, gold and blood can still be beautiful. Teach them how to survive, how to thrive, how to grow things in the darkness.”

Leto covered Selene’s hand with both of his, tugging it closer to his chest. “Why - why are you talking like this? These wounds - apostles can recover from these. You’re talking like you're dying!”

Selene’s serene smile returned. “That’s because I am, Leto, I’m dying.”

Kokuo’s entire frame locked up at the apostles' admission. From the corner of his eye, he saw Karra quickly standing up; shock written plain as day over her face.

“That’s not possible,” Karra said, her tone sharp and almost accusatory.

“I can feel it,” Selene insisted, not taking her eyes off of Leto. “Whatever attacked us out there…it was of the gods. Or perhaps of those below. Whatever it was, it has taken my vitality, my ability to heal. I am…mortal.”

Leto let out a strangled sob. “No! No - I refuse to believe you!”

Kokuo laid a hand on Leto’s shoulder, his own eyesight blurring. He had no argument, for he knew what Selene was saying had to be true, despite the sheer impossibility of it. She would not say anything otherwise if she thought she was going to recover.

“Is there…anything we can do to make you more comfortable?” Kokuo could barely get the words out, but he refused to give into despair, or the fear that was crawling up his legs. Regardless of Selene’s change in opinion on the need of apostles, one less apostle in their group was going to be a heavy blow to their ability to survive.

Selene closed her eyes for a brief moment, then replied. “An offering - a shrine for Order, for I will be joining him soon.”

Karra breathed in deep, turning her whole body away from Selene, Kokuo, and Leto.

“I-I can make that happen, I think.” Kokuo looked to Leto, but knew no help or advice would come from the young man in his shock and grief.

When it came to the gods, Kokuo only knew the basics. He was aware of Chaos, the first god to exist, and Order, the first god to die. Yet he did not know what a worthy shrine would entail for such a figure, especially with their meager supplies.

A familiar voice chimed in, raspy from sleep. “Do not fret, Kokuo. I can handle the shrine.” It was Ourania, sitting up in her makeshift bed across the cave, her steady voice carrying as a slight echo in the space.

Kokuo nodded, relieved. He stepped back, taking his hand from Leto’s shoulder. The young man needed space and time with his mentor, so Kokuo turned to Karra instead, who still had her back turned to the group.

“Are you okay, Karra?” Kokuo asked, keeping his voice low so the others wouldn’t hear.

Karra’s shoulders stiffened at his voice, but she did not turn to face him. “Fine. Just…need a moment.”

Karra wasn’t one to take moments, but Kokuo wasn’t about to invade the new wall she had thrown up. Instead he stood by her side as her unsteady breaths slowly corrected themselves, and her shoulders smoothed down like the sand dunes outside.

It took several minutes, but Kokuo remained in silent vigil to this rare moment of vulnerability from his friend.

Finally, she turned, her eyes as hard as stone. “She shouldn’t have told him that.” She looked at Leto's back and Selene’s still form. Around them, Ourania was meticulously stacking smooth, sandblasted rocks into neat, orderly towers.

Kokuo tilted his head, looking from them to Karra. “What do you mean? About what Selene said?”

“The immortal is mortal. The godly are human. And the world…” Karra paused, lowering her gaze to the sandy cave floor. “The world is dead. Whatever was worth fighting for has long since turned to dust.”

_____ . . . _____

We have officially reached the halfway point! 5 more acts to go!!

As you might be able to tell, this isn't exactly an action-packed adventure. It's a bit more introspective. A slow, steady burn to the climax ( which I hope to pay off with an epic & satisfying end ). For those that have made it this far, thank you! Don't forget to share this story with others! <3

ACT VI

New here? Check out ACT I below!