I'm Starting To Worry About This Black Box of Doom

I read about six to eight books a year. A paltry sum for anyone with a desire to write their own book someday. All the writer advice out there says when I’m not writing, I should be reading, traveling, and living out loud! I can’t afford to travel much. I’ve also got a nine to five and a kid to take care of. That leaves reading.

Unfortunately, my doom scrolling through social media, passively getting my news and entertainment in 30 second nonsensical bursts, has usurped most of the time I should have spent consuming real books with an editor and a plot. Which brings me to the subject of my review, I'm Starting to Worry About This Black Box of Doom, by Jason Pargin.

The story begins when Abbott Coburn, an anxious Twitch streamer / Lyft driver is offered $200K to transport a strange woman with a large ominous looking black box from Los Angeles to Washington DC for the Fourth of July.

The mysterious woman, Ether (also known as ‘Green Sunglasses Girl’ on account of her disguise) has a few rules for Abbott.

• He can’t look inside the box or ask any questions.

• He can’t tell anybody what he’s doing.

• He has to leave his devices (phone, laptop, etc.) at home.

Sound suspicious? A colorful cast of characters including internet friends and foes have their theories about what they might be transporting including, but not limited to, a nuclear bomb!

Leaving his phone at home, Abbott is forced to engage with the world around him. Being ‘unplugged’ also makes this box toting odd couple comically unaware of the viral campaign to stop them. They don’t even realize they are being chased!

Coincidentally, reading this 400-page book also got me away from social media to focus on real life for a while. At first it was tough because my attention span is completely shot. I found my mind wandering every few pages, but with persistence I was able to read for longer stretches. To those of you currently suffering with this problem, I promise it gets easier with a little momentum.

This is the first book I have read by this author. He is best known for his John Dies at the End series. He was also the chief editor of Cracked.com under the pseudonym, David Wong.

For the uninitiated, Cracked.com is a humor website known for popularizing the listicle (a short and punchy article presented in the form of a list). The site reached the height of its popularity in the early aughts. They covered topics from pop culture and lifestyle to science and history.

Some may argue that a few of the characters in this book speak in witty yet informative lists of surprising facts typical of the Cracked lists that made Pargin famous. Yes, that may be true. But, so what? In the context of this story, it makes sense for the characters to fuel their arguments with the kind of ‘infotainment’ one might find in a Cracked list.

One thing that struck me was something the author said in the afterword which begins with the standard, ‘this is a work of fiction and any similarities to real people or events is coincidental,’ spiel. He goes on to say…

“This book was not the work of an expert, unless two decades as a professional storyteller has made me an expert in that particular field. Even then, it’s not like you have to take a test or get a license. I’m only here because in the late 90’s, I realized they basically let anybody do it.”

Pargin recently expressed his thoughts on self-proclaimed ‘experts.’ It’s better to admit you don’t have enough information on a subject than to commit to a knee jerk reaction because of something you saw online. We live in a world of rampant misinformation. Perhaps all this pontificating without all the facts is what seals us into our own ‘box of doom.’

Here is a link to Pargin's original post if you’d like to check it out.