Books That Changed Me: Tears of a Tiger

When I started one of my grammar elective classes in the sixth grade we read a lot of great books and stories. Early on we started reading a series of books called the Hazelwood High series by Sharon M. Draper. The second book in the series was actually the first book we read called “Forged by Fire”. That book absolutely blew me away and became one of my favorite stories ever and it made Sharon Draper one of my favorite authors. Eventually we backtracked and read the first book in the series “Tears of a Tiger” and this book would not only traumatize me, but changed me as well.

Tears of a Tiger tells the story of a 17 year old Black male named Andy Jackson and how he was in an accident that changed his life. One night Andy went out drinking with his friends and while drunk driving he got into a wrecked that killed one of his friends, Robbie Washington. From here the rest of his story is told through a lens of grief and guilt. I’m the aftermath of Robbie’s death and the accident, Andy stays close with his girlfriend Keisha who he leans on for support, while living in denial about his true feelings and hiding them from the rest of the people in his life.

Eventually Keisha grows weary of Andy’s deception and she becomes exhausted with being his emotional crutch and breaks up with him on a very bitter, causing Andy to peak in his depression. Overwhelmed by the pain and guilt of Robbie’s death and feeling like he has nothing left, Andy commits suicide by shooting himself in the head with his father’s gun. His death has a massive impact on the lives of everyone around him. Andy’s friends are saddened and angry by his death. His girlfriend Keisha now feels sorrow and guilt, seeing herself as a trigger for his suicidal actions. His parents eventually split up over the strain of his death and his little brother Monty is now left without his hero who he looked up to so much.

This story absolutely traumatized me and at the same time, it is one of my favorite stories ever that has inspired me not only as a writer, but also how I go about my daily life. With this story, author Sharon Draper not only gave me a visual of what Andy was going through, but she made me feel what he felt. Every ounce of unbearable pain, grief and despair that Andy felt in his guilt, I felt it too. I visualized myself in Andy’s shoes and begged the question, what if that was me? What if I had to go through the pain of a friend’s death and even worse, what if I was the one who caused it? How could I live with myself? What would I do?

The scene of the story that puts together Andy’s death is the absolute worse. It’s just so haunting because I imagine that his final words with his father’s gun in hand is the conversation that most suicidal people have with themselves before they seal their fateful fate. Furthermore, the reactions of everyone around him who loved him are so heart wrenching. It does a great job at showcasing the ripple effect that suicide has beyond the grave. People are angry at you because your self inflicted death caused them heartache, many feel as though you abandoned them and others feel guilt at not being able to save you before you ended yourself. Andy’s little brother Monty’s final words that end the story are the words that resonate the most as a testament to Andy’s pain: “It’s ok to put tears on a Tiger.”

How exactly did this story change me? Well for starters, it was the touchy subject of suicide. As a little kid I never thought much on what drove anyone to take their own life. With this story I was presented to the factors of guilt and living despair which serve as big inspirations behind suicide. To go even deeper into the suicidal discussion, it opened my eyes to the unspoken traumas of mental health and suicide in the Black community. Mental health and suicide are just as much an issue in the Black community as they are anywhere else, but it isn’t something that we as a people talk about much. Because of Tears of a Tiger I want to use my talents as a writer to tell stories that shed light on mental illness and the impact of suicide in the Black community in a way that will make everyone listen.

With Tears of a Tiger I have also learned how important it is to pay closer attention to people who are in pain. Many suffer in silence and lie to the world in the form of a smiling or unbothered face just like Andy Jackson did, but underneath that face is a a broken heart that is ready to give way. I have found that it is important to look around for that broken heart. Many are sitting right next to us on a daily basis and we never realize they are there. Reach out to them because you might be the one who saves their lives.

Above all else I learned from this story that it is okay to say “I’m not okay” and if someone is not ok don’t patronize them or make them feel ashamed of not being okay, but instead, help them to get better. They may push you sometimes, they may be draining, so you’ll go through some tough times, but maybe if you learn to be patient you will learn how to save a life and I think Sharon M. Draper for this life changing lesson.