Zaya Hodges
Bio
Hello! I’m just a human being.
Stories (2)
Filter by community
Daily Struggles & Depression
The closer it gets to my birthday, it always feels like there are things that are too hard to get away from. Constantly fighting with bills, making sure my child is ready for school, worrying about friendships and relationships that I care about the most, and just trying to live as peacefully as possible. Honestly, I've wanted to sit back and just cry. Sit in a meadow, take in the breeze and just hope for the best right? I know it's not as simple as wishing on a shooting star and suddenly, you get everything you need, however, you have to put in the work. Some people would say "but at what cost", which I can feel that on so many levels, but I can say I just what a better future for me and my family. I wouldn't want my family to have to take on all of the pressure that I have to constantly deal with on a daily basis. Depression makes things go in slow motion for me. I overanalyze everything in one set of times, which makes my brain want to explode most of the time, and I can't find anything easier for myself, or a way to cope with everything that is thrown at me all at once. Something that happened to me personally today, really made me realize how messed up things can be, especially when people are just doing their jobs. It's just hard to have to be understanding, but also me having to hate myself for putting myself in that position in the first place. I don't want to be angry at the wrong people but at myself of course.
By Zaya Hodges4 years ago in Confessions
Toxicity
For many years, I've never realized the meaning of living in a toxic household until I've seen many people on the YouTube platform explain it. I used to think I was living in a household, that was loving and caring and certain things they have said, was to just toughen me up. However, as I grew older, and actually paid close attention to the signs, I've realized that's not how a family is supposed to talk to their family members. Of course, I know we have to learn things differently because of our background, as black individuals in a black community. The issue with that is, that is why there are so many problems when it comes to family support. There are many things I was forced to withhold from certain family members because of their "views", which sucks because I always want to be open about a lot of things without feeling like I would be completely judged.
By Zaya Hodges4 years ago in Families
