Tyler Thompson
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Stories (4)
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Yes, that is the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy in my front pocket.
Ever since I was a young boy, I’ve had big pants and bigger pockets. The goal of every big pocketed boy is to find stuff to put in them. I often carried home anything cool I found out on my adventures. Rocks, pliers, screw drivers, the Percy Jackson series.
By Tyler Thompson3 years ago in Journal
Why do girls stop flirting with you after you puke on yourself?
Almost every guy out there can relate to this situation. You’re talking to a girl, or a few of them. It’s going well, you’re making them laugh, casual style. They really like the gag where you imbibe a prodigious amount of liquid within yourself in a short period of time. But then, something happens. As your body begins to reject the copious amount of fluid and propel it, along with a healthy amount of bile, onto the front of your cartoon-themed T-shirt (the natural conclusion to aforementioned gag), you start seeing strange expression on the faces of the women who just moments ago received your advances so well. Fear? Disgust? Dread? Loathing? What could this mean? As they turn away, you feel the shame seep in, much like the vomit has begun seeping into your jeans. Something similar to this has happened to almost every guy out there, guaranteed.
By Tyler Thompson3 years ago in Journal
The Implicit Value of Chopping Logs of Wood Like a Goddam Lumberjack
Every man was at one point a boy, and every boy has dreamed about doing something cool when he grows up. Take, for instance, the time honored traditions of policeman, fireman, astronaut, and cowboy. Very cool. But one oft overlooked activity offers just as much coolness factor as the others, while being simultaneously more safe and more achievable (for the most part). I’m talking of course about chopping, lopping, lighting, biting, splitting, hitting, spitting, and sometimes sitting on logs of wood.
By Tyler Thompson3 years ago in Journal
Spanish Candy
While visiting Spain one summer during Corpus Christi, I found myself alone and lost in Granada. I love to explore, so this situation would normally be ideal, however most of Spain was in an enormous heatwave at the time, bringing the temps to a sweltering 110 degrees Fahrenheit, and I was without water or Google Maps to guide me.
By Tyler Thompson3 years ago in Journal
