The Implicit Value of Chopping Logs of Wood Like a Goddam Lumberjack

Every man was at one point a boy, and every boy has dreamed about doing something cool when he grows up. Take, for instance, the time honored traditions of policeman, fireman, astronaut, and cowboy. Very cool. But one oft overlooked activity offers just as much coolness factor as the others, while being simultaneously more safe and more achievable (for the most part). I’m talking of course about chopping, lopping, lighting, biting, splitting, hitting, spitting, and sometimes sitting on logs of wood.

When I was a growing lad, I spent many mornings and evenings chopping firewood that we didn’t necessarily need, just for the sake of it. I hoped to receive an ax, maul, or hatchet for Christmas or birthdays the same way other boys hoped for a toy car or videogame. I was completely engrossed in the act of cleanly wedging chunks of tree in half and subsequently into quarters (sometimes eighths if I got a little overzealous or the log was still too big to fit in the wood stove). I would put off doing homework to chop for a little while longer, it was my favorite pastime, especially in the fall.

I learned much through splitting logs, including the different types of logs there are to split. Sometimes I’d get a lovely truckload of pink ivory logs that were bigger around than I was, but split easily with one or two swings. More often than not it was a lot of normal oak or maple logs. Other times I was stuck with a batch of gnarled pine logs, sap oozing out of the pores. Knotted pine logs can be very hard to get through, sometimes I’d manage it with just an ax or maul, but more often than not I’d get stuck in the wood and turn to wedges and hammers.

There was also the sometimes helpful technique of turning the stuck ax on its head, raising the entire log above and behind you, and bringing it down on the base like a hammer in a very vicious game of Whack-a-mole, making a wedge of the ax and a hammer out of the earth. That was tiring. Pine doesn’t even burn well, so we just set the wood aside. I chopped for the intrinsic benefits of chopping, rather than any pragmatic reward.

Chopping wood, either by hand with an ax, or with some ancient 2 ton log splitter that intrigues you with its ability to easily take your arm off, offers many benefits, both mental and physical. For me, splitting wood was a kind of meditation, a way to get into the zone, doing something that I didn’t have to think about. On stressful days of school or work, I looked forward to my half finished pile of wood. It was my entertainment and my stress relief. Not everyone has the time or patience to zen out and meditate like a yogi. But that’s not the only way to achieve a more peaceful state of mind. After chopping for a while, I always felt significantly more prepared for whatever challenges I would have to face coming back inside.

It also strengthened me physically. Archery was a hobby I’d been into since before any serious lumberjacking, and at the beginning I was too week to pull some of the heavier strung compound bows, let alone a recurve. Upon returning to the hobby a couple years and a couple thousand logs later, I was suddenly able to pull with ease the same bows I’d had trouble with before. A hobby that is not only enjoyable but also makes you stronger is a blessing unlike any other. I attribute a significant amount of my success with football and in the weight room to chopping wood like a mad man whenever I got the chance.

The physical benefits are definitely worth while, but my underaged psyche extensively romanticized it as well. If you’ve read as many martial arts manga and watched as many Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan movies as I have, you know that unconventional exercises that at first seem like chores are one of the staples of a good martial arts training regime. Drunken Master and The Karate Kid come to mind. Ax on, Ax off. Hajime no Ippo is another great example, the protagonist gains a lot of his punching power from exercises like chopping wood and hammering log posts. Every time I went out there, I felt like my favorite martial arts heroes, sometimes I even wore a bandana. My Crane Kick could use some work though.

And, although it may sound silly, hours and hours of this stuff is definitely good for building confidence. Increased strength, regular exercise, and mental fortitude translated to better grades and improved social performance. Some girls actually liked that I smelled like wood all the time, though I just played it off as some brand of Old Spice body wash I was using. I liked feeling like a lumberjack, in school and at home.

All in all, chopping wood for lengths of time that border on obsessive certainly has its benefits; but what if you don’t have access to that kind of activity? You’d certainly get complaints if you set up a chopping in your third floor apartment and started whacking away, though that is kind of badass in and of itself. Here are some alternatives for my city slicking friends: Climb trees in your local park; Volunteer at your local soup kitchen or Co-op; Or spend an inordinate amount of time on the jungle gym. Being away from home for college, I’ve had to satisfy myself with alternatives like these. I’m starting to miss my maul.

The value of physical activities that are also fun cannot be overstated. I love the gym, don’t get me wrong, but I’m only there a couple hours of the day, any longer and I’d probably die of boredom. A physical hobby that you can do forever and ever is ideal. When I was young I also used to strip down strange devices for copper wire to give to my grandpa. Ripping those machines apart certainly had me working up a sweat, cooped up in our suffocating shed. But the sense of accomplishment when I came out, shirt drenched, was unparalleled.

In conclusion, the fact that most men in this day and age have given up on having cool, manly hobbies (writing doesn’t count) is a little disheartening to me. I hope this article inspires you to find something you like to do, that’s also good for you. You don’t necessarily need to pick up a maul and start whacking away, although I’ll never stop espousing the benefits of lumberjacking. It makes me feel like a real cool guy when I’ve been chopping a while, I strip out of my lumberjack flannel top to just my undershirt, and feel the cool morning air instantly chill my heated body as steam wafts steadily away with the breeze. Or when I cracked a log but didn’t quite split it and was able to rip the log in half like Captain America. The point is, everyone should have a hobby they can be a little obsessive over. For me, that was splitting wood. For you, it could be anything, though I strongly recommend splitting wood.