Reed Alexander
Bio
I'm a horror author and foulmouthed critic of all things horror. New reviews posted every Sunday.
@ReedsHorror on TikTok, Blue Sky, Instagram, YouTube, and Mastodon.
Check out my books at reedshorror.com
Stories (317)
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Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Mom and Dad' (2017)
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! Could they have made the teenage protagonist any more of a sanctimonious bitch? Is this really how teenage girls behave? I mean, I get rebellion. I get not jiving with your parents. Hell, I even understand needing to grow apart and get space. But this girl is just down right cruel. The shit she gets away with saying to her mother would have gotten my head knocked around like a bocce ball when I was her age. This girl and her friend smack of the mean popular girls that picked on kids in my high school. I had a strict policy of never hitting women, so I just made friends with bigger meaner girls and had them as a personal hit squad when the popular girls fucked with people. Needless to say, we didn't really have a lot of mean girls in my high school after that, so I'm not very familiar with the behavior. Are they really this awful?
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'The Hallow (2015)'
Eh, there was a lot about this movie I actually liked but I'm not sure I can call it good horror or give it a pass. It was a lot like Hybrid, in that they tried to shoehorn too much into a fairly simple concept. They tried to go with a "scientifically plausible" explanation for fairies while still trying to stick with the lore. I can appreciate the attempt and it's not like they went full "Scooby-Doo Effect" on the movie. I don't know, they didn't really need to put in all the unnecessary effort. Sometimes doing too much can sort of throw off the pace of the movie. Do we really need an explanation for how the fairies work? It came off as very "telly" as appose to "showy." Aren’t evil fairies enough? Do they need to be plausible?
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Creature Lake' (2015)
I want to remind you that I grade on a curve when it comes to a film’s production level. When it's student quality films like this, I automatically consider everything in a higher light than it really deserves. This is to respect the fact that production is running on zero budget.
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Piranha 3D (2010)'
This makes me think I should watch the originals again and review them as well. I loved the Piranha franchise when I was young but to be honest, I don’t much think of it any more. I wonder if it holds up to the test of time like so many other classics I’ve reviewed.
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of "Puppetmaster (1989)"
What is it about this movie that makes it so good? If you really think about it, this movie is actually shit. Just plain shit. There isn't a single redeeming factor about it other than the damn puppets, and yet, it's an undeniable classic.
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Child's Play (1988)'
Anyone who says this franchise is crap can fuck right the hell off. Yeah, the latter installments are silly as all hell. Yeah, Curse of Chucky was a complete pile of crap. Yeah, there was a lot about the first one that was problematic. But all things considered, this is one of the best franchises in horror. Chucky is iconic, and it's no mistake.
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Blood Hunter' (2016)
This is one of my earliest reviews of a movie from that plucky little film studio Gravitas. This movie was one of the first that got Gravitas on my radar as a movie that was going to start turning out trash horror. As a connoisseur of trash horror, I really learned to love Gravitas with little gems like this. Not everything they put out is a gem, and everything they put out needed WAY more editing, but we are talking about a shoe string budget here.
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of John Carpenter's 'The Thing' (1982)
What is it about this movie that makes it so perfect? I mean, let's be honest, John Carpenter wasn't exactly heading into the 80s with a background in horror gems. I mean, we are talking about the man who was responsible for Dark Star and The Fog. In fact, in his early years we would come to expect he'd be producing a lot more good-bad movies than timeless horror classics.
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'The Cloverfield Paradox (2018)'
A boring and uninspired prequel... I could write a better fucking origin story than this. Fuck, I DID write a better origin story than this. I mean, I had to clean it up so I didn't get sued, but if you read through it, you can kinda figure out what inspired it. Check it out in my notes in the link attached.
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'The Ritual' (2017)
Alright. I'm going to tell you right now that you should watch this. IF FOR NOTHING ELSE, for the neat beastie with a well-developed mythos. But honestly, it was actually quite good, if even a little simple and formulaic. But remember, simple and formulaic is sometimes a good thing.
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Pumpkinhead' (1988)
God, I love this movie. First off, Pumpkinhead is one of the all-time greatest rubber monsters ever created. The practical effects are what this movie is all about. I mean, yeah they can be a little hokey, but that's why they used the setting and filters they did. Using the atmosphere by layering it over the practical effects really made this movie. It’s just a damn cool monster.
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
