Michelle King
Bio
I write from the heart
Stories (23)
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Who else is digging lock down
I am what you call an introvert, always loved my own company and always wondered why some people just loved being around other people. Lock down for some is a nightmare, missing their loved ones and worrying about the dire strate the world is in since COVID 19. It's 2021 I am sure I am not the only one to have underestimated how long this was going to last. Nothing seems to be stopping for now and who knows how long it will continue. I empathise with the ones out there affected by lock down it must be very difficult not seeing family members. I on the otherhand love this about lock down it keeps my family at bay, a bit extreme some might say but you haven't met my family. Remember the TV show back in 2004 called Shameless, about a single dad on benefits with loads of kids trying to scam a living anyway they could. Well... thats my family no way are they having my address so they can show me up on my own door step. No my neighbours need saved from that believe me!! My brother said once, "Shell we should take mum on Jeremy Kyle and expose her" I was like "No way thats my worst fear" he was all for it even tried wasting his breath on trying to persuade me to change my mind. I was a nurse, can you imagine all my patients faces as I stood at their bedside to hand them their morning medication to look at me to then realise thats the person on TV. Nope thank you very not I will save my dignity and keep my life to myself not broadcast it to the world. My brother huffed and puffed and tried to blow my house down but he failed miserably. He felt hard done by and wanted payment for his suffering and was assessing all avenues available to him. I mean all avenues even if it meant he made a fool of himself in front of a full audience. I am not saying that's what people did on the show it was a fact I knew about my brother. He is something else. He saw he was getting no where with that idea and gave up asking, his next one was "Shell let's take mum to the newspapers" I was like "Not this again" my ears instantly wanted to close down any hint of his agenda against my mother. I chose to rise above that hence why I lived in an unknown location at an unknown address, only a very select few know where I live and it is staying like that. If I want to see my family I would visit them which was rarely to be honest. I am different from them in every way so its nice to do normal stuff but know lock down disbales them of the feel sorry for me phrase they normally use on me, they know its against guidelines so they can't say nothing and don't I know it. Hence why I am loving lock down no one can come to my door and not being able to visit my mum suits me fine I can chill at home blissfully and wouldn't change it for the world. I wasn't always so anti social it just gradually grew as I chopped toxic people from my life, it left me how I love it, on my own except for my partner that is. See someone might look at me and feel sad or think I may get lonely through having no friends it doesn't bother me at all. In fact I am faced with less drama, I have found in my experience that the more people in my life the more drama it causes. I am too old for that shit, no my life is much better with less people hence why I am digging the lock down rules I'm like "YEAH" "you can't get me" say that and imagine someone doing the Carlton Dance from Fresh Prince of Bellair then you will know the vibe I'm feeling. I am taking full advantage of the lock down and staying inside, even shut all the blinds except all the back windows google Falkland Hill and you will see why, stunning and many hours of entertainment for me during lock down. Events like this make you look at the world and appreciate what you have around you and how lucky you really are. That is how I feel anyway when I look outside, I breath it in. I do understand why people don't like being alone like I do, must be scary being stuck in your own household with no contact from family or friends from outside. It is important we try keep eachother safe, I am doing my bit without even trying as I prefer it, if it was the other way I am not sure my opinion would remain the same. My best friend prefers company, she gets anxious on her own and more than a week her mentle health starts to deteriorate, thank the lord for ipads and video call apps at least you can still see people even if you can't be around them. I often wonder about poorer regions that don't have this kind of technology it must be hard for them. I am just doing what I normally do and go about my day with minimum contact from people. My best friend understands why I am the way I am and never makes me feel bad for months with no contact its who I am and she is fine with that. I know she has good friends and supportive family around her at her end so know she is cared for. She has her partner I am grateful to him as if he was not there I am not sure how she would cope with lock down. I want COVID 19 to end like everyone else but not because I am struggling with lock down I want it to end to protect human life, it seems though that is not on the cards yet, who knows what the future holds it will end one day, until then I will enjoy my peace as I know that too can't last forever.
By Michelle King5 years ago in Families
Meant to be
We have all heard the saying that people come into your life for a reason and I am firm believer in this. I have not had much luck when it comes to relationships I seem to pick the guys that like to beat and abuse woman. I knew there must be more to life than just being abused all the time. I decided I was going to try and find a guy that treated me like the human being that I am. I went on the dating app Plenty of Fish (POF) and began chatting to a couple of guys but lost interest, I was a nurse at the time working 12.5 hour nightshift so didn't have much time to socialise outside work. One night at work whilst on break I went onto POF to check my messages when I saw a name that I knew... Mark Taylor. Me and Mark are from the same town and we attended the same primary school, so you could say we were kind of childhood friends. I moved away when I was 11 and Mark thought I had passed away as there was another girl with the same name who passed away and Mark had gotten mixed up. I must admit I had seen Mark when I was in my early 20's he was walking into a shop and he caught my eye, he is hot I thought to myself and that was it I hadn't seen him for years and now he has messaged me, the funny bit is he had no idea who I was. I replied to his message Mark Taylor... I got a reply "how do you know my name"? and then it dawned on him, Michelle King your alive. We got chatting, I had a sense of comfort with Mark right from the start I could'nt believe my luck to be honest I was well punching and I was well happy a nice guy for a change. We arranged to meet up in person, I was nervous as the door went, I opened it and he was there smiling "long time no see stranger" I had an instant connection with him and wanted him so bad. We sat and talked about old times and how we came across each others path. I had moved back to my home town I had been there for over 2 years and Mark had no idea I was even there. That was it me and Mark became unseperatable when I was not at work I was with him, we went out cycling, walking, swimming all the things I loved to do another bonus. Me and Mark had similar back grounds, we both moved out of our house aged 16 and moved in with someone 8 years our senior. We both had problems in our relationship and we were both brought together for a reason. Mark realised my life had been pretty crap until that point and I was pleased to see he was nothing like my ex's. My dog Buddy loved him and that was a good sign for me. As time went by me and Mark got to know one another better and decided we wanted to start a relationship together my heart was bursting with joy I felt so happy. We moved in with eachother quite quickly but I knew deep down this was the guy for me I felt it in my bones. We have bought our first dog together and are trying for a baby. We have been together almost 4 years and we continue to grow stronger, this man has taught me true love and kindness, he has healed me from a very traumatic past. He understands me like no one on earth including my own family, he is the only man that makes me feel safe and for once in my life I am content. He has taken on my son as his own even when my son has meltdowns Mark is still here and that says a lot. I can truly say god brought me my soulmate, my twin flame and I stand strong because of him. He is my Hero and I will eternally love him and remain loyal to him until my last breath. I want to thank POF as if it weren't for that app who knows what might of happened, Mark feels god brought him to us and I am so thankful he did. We are together forever now, we are building the life we both deserve and wow happiness is an awesome emotion. Life works in mysterious ways, I have a connection with Mark a connection I have never ever had with anyone else. We have our issues like everyone else, I love this man with my whole being and I will do whatever I can to make him happy he deserves it. We are building a strong unit and he is teaching me how to be a better person inside and out. He casts no judgement on me, he accepts me for me like I accept him for being him. He has shown me happiness and now the world is our oyster, adventures to be had and memories to be made and to be honest I wouldn't change it for anything in this world. Mark I love you from the bottom of my heart thank you, you are my hero.
By Michelle King5 years ago in Humans
Love at first sight
I have owned dogs my entire life, the breed I was most used to was the Staffordshire Bull Terrier. These dogs have a bad rep but in my opinion they are looking at the wrong end of the lead. I came across an ad once for an American Bulldog, I had never owned this breed before. I did a bit of reading on their breed and decided to go pick this dog up. I arrived at the door and was welcomed in. As I walked into the living room I saw the dog I had seen so many times but only in picture form, he approached me and instantly the owner told the dog off he went as flat as a pancake, this dog was scared he also looked underweight for his size. The woman wanted £1000 but I offerred her £600 due to his condition. I attached the lead handed over the money and left. Once outside the dog was jumping around like an excited deer, it was evident he had, had no previous training. Once I got home I introduced him to my female Staffordhire Bull Terrier called Roxy, it was like love at first sight. I called the vet and made an appointment for him to be seen, his name was Geo but I changed it to Buddy as I felt it was more suited to his sweet nature. At the vet it was found Buddy had 14 injuries including a fractured tooth along with his weight it was clear he hadn't had the best start in life, he also had muscle wastage in his hind legs consistent with being sat down a lot. The vet looked at me with a concerned look and said this dog has been abused. This saddened me, as I took his big bear head in my hands I looked at him and made him a promise, his life of abuse was over. Buddy had no seperation anxiety he loved it with me and would shower me in licks and cuddles it was like he was saying thank you. He had weekly visits at the vets to be weighed he put on 2kg in a 2 week period, the vet was pleased. He was booked in to be nuetered and settled in to his new life. Buddy fitted right in and passed all tests with flying colours, he was great with kids and other dogs. Buddy is nearing his 9th birthday the thought of life without him is just too much to bare. I made the choice to get another American Bulldog the search was on, I came across a post on facebook of a female American Bulldog and she was in labour. I typed the name into my messenger and enquired about the puppies. I was the first to message so was given pick of the litter, we chose a boy with a red patch around his eye and some patches on his back, we named him Kano. Kano was in Newcastle and we lived in Scotland, an 8 hour journey from us. I was super excited so off we set for Newcastle to pick up the new addition. When we arrived we were welcomed and taken to the living room, and there sitting on the lady's knee was Kano and he was stunning. He did ever so well on the drive back up sleeping most of the way, he had a little car sickness but apart from that it was a successful journey. Now to see if the big boy liked him, as soon as Buddy saw Kano his tail was wagging he wanted to play and before long they were cuddled up together sound asleep, Success!! I thought to myself. I stayed in contact with the family sending them pictures and videos of Kano as he grew, they were glad he went to good home. I remain close friends with the family and we talk on social media a lot. I got a message one day to say that their bitch was pregnant again this was not planned and they had no choice but to deal with it. The puppies were just too tempting I booked another one this time a little girl called Bonnie, she is pure white except from one red patch on her back. I then picked another one this time a boy his name is Bronson and he is pure white, I know you probably think I am insane but the way I see it is I can't make a difference for every dog in the world but I can make a difference to mine. I have always wanted a pack of dogs, we love the outdoors so American Bulldogs are well suited to us and our life style and I have the time and patience to look after them. It will be hard work no doubt about that but by the end we will have a pack of Bulldogs that are happy and fulfilled. Bonnie and Bronson are 4 weeks old now and due to be picked up soon, another road trip to Newcastle. The couple are glad 2 more of their babies come join us in Scotland to have the time of their life.
By Michelle King5 years ago in Petlife
Little Black Book
Anna had just been made reduntant from her job, with her head in her hands she wept tears of worry. "How will I support my family" she thought to herself. Anna was a single mum to two young kids, her ex partner was not in the kids lives so they really only had her to rely on. "It will be okay it will be okay" she recited in her head. Anna had worked since she was 16 years old, even when she had her kids she didn't stop as she wanted her kids to have the life she never had. Loosing her job felt like a kick to the teeth. Anna had to claim welfare benefits something that she had never done before, when her first payment went into the bank she thought wow this is half of what we are used to having, it was time to take care of the pennies. Anna found this transition hard, all the treats she had been able to buy the kids previously had to stop, she was faced with tears and temper tantrums. Anna had to be firm, "We can't afford it" she'd simply say as the kids had a melt down at another no to treats they were so much used to. Once the kids were in bed Anna would sit and ponder "how can I make a little bit extra cash" she felt guilty that she couldn't afford the treats her kids so desperatley wanted. One day when the kids were at school Anna went for a walk along the beach, as the waves crashed beside her Anna looked over the horizon I wish I wish I can have financial abundance she thought, "ach well" she thought what is meant for you won't go by you and on that note she headed for home. Anna went the long way as she wanted to nip into the shop to buy something for tea before she went home, as she packed her shopping her hand came across a small black book, she put it in the bag thinking to herself "I can't remember picking this up" she packed it anyway and headed home. After tea Anna headed to bed she took with her the little black book. As Anna lay in bed she picked the book up and opened it, blank pages. She put the book back down turned off her lamp and went to sleep. One day as she was cleaning her room she picked the black book up once more this book has a purpose but she just didn't know what that was, what she did know though was each time she picked that book up a feeling took over her entire body. She picked up a pen and scribbled the words "I wish I was rich" on one of the pages, closed it and then put it in her drawer. Life continued to be a struggle for Anna financially and she found herself wishing wealth upon herself at every given opportunity but to no avail. "its okay to dream" she thought. Each time Anna had a thought like this she would get her little black book and write her thoughts down and then put it away in her drawer. Before long the little black book gave itself a purpose it was filled with positive affirmations for wealth and prosperity. During this time Anna began to meditate it was through meditation she came across a 30 day challenge and all she had to do was write down her daily affirmations and recite the words "I am happy and grateful for the money I recieve in increasing amounts from various sources" according to the meditation if she did this for 30 days she could be richer beyond her wildest dreams. Each day Anna wrote down a positive affirmation "I am rich I am abundant" "I am thankful for all the wonderful abundance I already have" each day she would write something new in her little black book. One day Anna opened a letter it was a cheque for £500 a tax rebate, Anna thought to herself its working. Later that day she put the lottery on she won £9.00 better than nothing she thought. She bought scratch cards and each time she would win most of the time it was only £1 but it was better than nothing. Her little black book began to give her hope, each week Anna would buy a scratch card or put on the lottery any opportunity she would grab it with both hands in the hope it would bring financial freedom. One day Anna was in the shop she saw a new lottery game it was called set for life, where you could win £10,000 per month for the next 30 years. That will do me nicely she thought she picked her numbers and bought her ticket. As she checked the ticket against the numbers she scrumpled the paper, another no win she thought to herself. The next day Anna wrote in her little black book a series of numbers "these number will be picked for the lottery" she wrote, she also began using other money mantras for example she would say each morning "for the good of all and harm to none abundance is on its way to me, it belongs to me and will be spent however I choose, I focus on the abundance I already have and thank the universe in advance for the abundance on its way to me and so it is" It wasn't long before the little black book was filled with positive affirmations, as Anna closed the book she thought to herself and then placed it in her drawer were it remained for years. Anna's kids were now in their teens and life continued on until Anna began to feel unwell, a visit to the GP confirmed she had breast cancer, treatment and therapy prolonged her life but it was too late for Anna her cancer had spread to her liver and bones. Anna lost her battle with cancer when her daughter was 18 and her son 16 years old. The kids went to live with their Aunt in Whales. When the hosue was being packed up Anna's daughter came across the little black book she flipped through it and then placed it in her pocket, once the house was packed up it was time to go start a new life in Whales. Later that night Anna's daughter Sammy was getting ready for bed, as she took off her hoody the small black book fell to the floor, Sammy picked it up "Why did my mother have this" she thought as she opened it as she began to read through all the positive comments a warm feeling filled her body. "My mum wanted me to have this she thought" she read through some more pages and then decided that was enough for the night, she closed the book and turned out her light. Sammy was sat in her room the next day when her Aunt came in to see how she was getting on "You okay love" she said "Yeah" Sammy replied "just thinking about mum" her Aunt cupped her face and said "your mother loved you very much" and then kissed Sammy's forehead. As she turned to walk out something fell on the floor "what's this love" as she picked up the small black book. "aww that is a book mum had in her drawer, I am not sure what it says or why" Sammy's aunt began to flip through the pages "I know what this is, I remember your mother telling me about it" "this book was supposed to make your mother rich beyond her wildest dreams" "rich?" Sammy replied "Yes" said her Aunt "it was a 30 day challenge it didn't work for your mother, maybe it will work for you" as she placed the small black book on the bedside table. Sammy wanted to be rich so she decided to look more into this 30 day challenge. She flipped through the last page of the book and on there was a sequence of numbers that had the words "these numbers are going to win the lottery" Sammy decided upon herself to start playing the lottery she did not agree with gambling but thought no harm paying £1 per week if it was going to get her rich, she began meditating just like her mother did. Each day she would read a page out of the little black book and pray to herself "I will win the lottery" each week Sammy would check the numbers "nope" "not this week" she said quietly to herself. One day as she was checking her weekly ticket she almost fell off her chair "yep" "yep" she would say as she marked the numbers of one by one until BINGO! Sammy gave herself a shake she said "this can't be right" but it was she had only gone and got each and every number correct, she had the winning ticket "I've won" she said "IVE WON" now to see how much she was going to get £1.2 million, Sammy checked the numbers again just to see if her eyes were decieiving her. They were all there, the very numbers her own mother had written in the small black book were now the winning numbers for the lottery, and it was Sammy who won it "we did it mum" Sammy said as she looked up at the sky "we did it" "your numbers came in" Sammy cried both tears of loss and joy, as she took the ticket to the shop the man behind the counter confirmed it was the winning ticket "congratulations Miss your a winner" it would be another 6 weeks before the money went into Sammy's bank account seeing it there made it even more real. "what would my mother want me to spend this on" she thought hard. Sammy knew her mothers biggest fear was her kids going without so Sammy bought her and her brother their very own house and car. Once security was sorted it was time to have some fun the siblings went on a safari in Africa, they went back packing in Thialand for 3 months and they went to Florida in America a place their mother always wanted to take them. Thanks to their mums little black book the siblings had a life full of abundance, Sammy spent her money wisely and put some away in an account for her brothers 21st birthday. Sammy kept the little black book, even passed it down to her own daughter when she was 16, Anna worked hard to give her kids everything they needed and with the help of her little black book that was made possible. Anna always said "if you can hold it in your head you can hold it in your hands" and so it is.
By Michelle King5 years ago in Families
50 Cent
I think it is evidant the reason why I have chosen Curtis 50 Cent Jackson AKA 5o Cent. He went from being in one of the toughest area's and one of the toughest Environments to becoming a renound Rapper, Entrepreneur, actor, Director of film, and TV also has his own novels. I think its safe to say that 50 Cent has probably come across and done every trick in the book and dipped his toe in all avenues of struggles that life can throw at one person, despite all this though he is a worldwide role model for his inspirational speeches to his well known roasting escapades with fellow rappers. 50 grew up in Queens New York, his mother was a drug dealer so 50 was exposed to hard life and hard times right from the start. When he was 8 years old his mother was killed and his father was unknown to him so he went to live with his Paternal Grandma. 50 had to sleep in the basement of his Gran Ma's house. Age 12 he began to sell drugs on one of the toughest places in the world to grow up the streets of South Side Jamaica in Queens. There was a crack pandemic so plenty opportunity for a young keen kid trying to survive the only way he knew how. He had the hustlers ambition and was a very street wise kid with a no fear approach. This is where 50 started his journey on making money and making the best of every opportunity that came his way. Although 50 sold drugs he never touched the stuff he preferred to build abundance for himself. By the time 50 was sixteen he entered the world of hip hop and began to rap this is where he met Jam master Jay a fellow rapper, he taught 50 how to write his own raps. Soon after this he met Eminem and that was it 50 went from being a day time hustler to an International rapper. His first record deal was Get Rich or Die Trying with Shady Records and was one of the biggest hip hop album of that time. Through Eminem he met Dr Dre and this was when 50 was signed a 1 Million Dollar Record Deal. He was 28 year's old. I take my hat of to the man he knew what he wanted and he went out and grabbed it with both hands not only that he grew and became more creative building an empire for himself. His I don't give a F@%K attitude, I mean the guy was shot 9 times and to look at him you couldn't tell, to overcome that it takes a strong mind. He had this business man type way of thinking and he soared and excelled in everything he did. 50 gives out just as much as he recieves, as his name soared he gave opportunities for others for example look at G Unit. He built an entire enterprise that has generated over $100 Million in retail sales that is pneomanal. He has generated Billions in record sales and built a successful brand that continues to do well. He has recently taken a back seat from his rapping career to concentrate on his Tv shows such as Power and BMF. He once rapped the lyrics money makers rule the world and he has proven that time and time again. He is enjoying the royalties of his life and he does not care what anyone says about it. His brutal honesty has earned him a tough reputation, he's looked up at as an idol similar to Micheal Jackson if not more. He has a mutual respect for eveything and always remains humble as he never forgets where he came from, he knows what hard times are he lived it. To go from a young kid aged 8 selling drugs to now having a net worth of $30 million at 45 years old, it used be $200 million but 50 made the descision to move assets around and his net worth dropped. Still not a bad pay cheque if you ask me, he is living the life he sought out to live. Just goes to show it don't matter where you come from if you believe in yourself and fight for what you believe in and grab it with both hands anything is possible. In my opinion 50 has done exceptionally well for himself and has the right attitude, his rewards of all his hard work is evident to see and it continues to grow and inspire generations of people. If my son came to me and said I want to be like 50 cent I would be okay with that, he currently follows the law. he inspires to do well and executes it to a T... yeah I'd be okay with that. 5o cent has done so much its impossible to list them all, one thing for sure he knows what he's doing and does it well anyone learning from him are privilidged he has a lot to teach. I chose 50 Cent because he is everywhere and shares similar views to myself I wished I had his business head always wanted a ferrari. He gives back and helps charities even supplying meals for African people, helping to keep young boys off the street by providing opportunities for them the list goes on. He is living proof that hard times does not neccessary mean a hard life, it is what you make it and with sheer determination, will power and a business man attitude you have the foundation to build something spectacilar. I think 50 Cent was a perfect choice for this challenge as 50 proves you always have to challenge yourself and try and make a difference anyway he can, he is a positive role model and has a strong presence everywhere he goes. His story is inspirational and interesting, it is nice to see people go out and live their best life he deserves it. Stay safe my friends. Peace.
By Michelle King5 years ago in Beat
PTSD
I was diagnosed with PTSD back in 2002 due to a childhood full of abuse and relationships with domestic voilence. I have also cared for numerous patients who have this condition. I remember when I was a student nurse my first encounter with a patient who suffered PTSD was an old man in his 80's he had been a soldier in WW1 and WW2. This man came in to us with a urine infection that had been left untreated due to this he had become delirious and confused. I was in charge of this mans care, one day when I was doing my routine observations I heard a commotion within the bay this man was placed, he was on the floor sheilding his head and shouting. I tried to get close to him to see what was wrong but he started throwing items from his table and they came hurdling my way. He believed the nurses were German soldiers and would not let anyone close to him. I had to think fast as this man was in distress, I went and took my nurse uniform off and put on a plain hoody in the hope he would let me close to him and it worked, I crouched down beside him and asked what was wrong he told me he was in the war and the German soldiers were trying to take us captive, I reassured him and told him the war was now over and congratualted him on his service, I went on to tell him that he was now in the hospital and all the people he saw were nurses and doctors here to help him. I was able to coax him back into bed and gave him a sedative that he was prescribed for moments like this. PTSD can be debilitating for the people who live with it, I know first hand just how debilitating it can be. I remember my first flash back, I was a little girl again and I was back in that room with him, my eyes wide with fear I would try and back away from everything and everyone around me. These flash backs can be triggerred by smell, touch, words, a noise, tv show anything really. I was commenced on anti depressants that had a sedative effect and went for hypno therapy. Hypno therapy is expensive at £60 per session but worth it in my case anyway, I would reccomend it. Hypno therapy enabled me to cope with my memories better, taught me control and even erased some memories that were particularly traumatic. My partner is my god send during flash backs he knows what to do, he will tell me I am safe, where I am for exmaple if I am laying in bed or out and about. He will tell me the day, the time and just be there for me reassuring me constantly.
By Michelle King5 years ago in Psyche
Putting a bad man away
It was not too long after my sister passed away that my mum met Pete Johnson a soldier from the black watch, he had been friends with my mum previous before he went to the army but got talking again when he was on leave. I don't think my mother was thinking clearly at the time because after a week of being together I was told she was getting married and not only that but we were also moving to Hong Kong. I was 10 at the time. Once the wedding was over my mum began packing up our house and belongings, a week later we were waiting on our plane to take us to Hong Kong. I really did not want to go but as a child I had no choice in the matter. The flight was 10 hours long and when we arrived at Hong Kong it was something I had never experienced the heat coming off the plain was so much hotter than the summers we ever had in Scotland. Once we were in our barracks we were led to our house which was a flat on the 2nd floor. After 2 weeks of being there Pete beat my mother so badly she was unconcious and even the soles of her feet were badly bruised I thought he was going to kill her as I shouted "leave my mum alone" not the kind of life I was expecting to be honest but we were on the other side of the world no one could save us. It didn't take long and the beatings were on me too, I was not used to being beat up by a 27 year old soldier, he really did hurt me even breaking my back one time by kicking me really hard with his army boots that were steel toe cap. The beatings was the first to come the second was the sexual abuse he made me endure during the night when my mother was in bed. I hated him, and I hated my mother for taking me away from everything and everyone I loved, I hated my life and felt suicidal at age 11.
By Michelle King5 years ago in Criminal
Overcoming Loss
I was born in 1981 to a young couple aged 16 and 17, three years later in 1984 my younger sister Mandy was born. When mandy was coming up for her 6th Birthday she began having headaches that became more frequent and more painful. One night we were awoken by a blood curdling scream it was Mandy. We all got up to see what was wrong, she was rolling around in her bed clutching her head complaining of severe pain. Mandy was given Calpol and a warm towel to wrap around her head, she eventually fell back to sleep. The following morning my mum made an emergency appointment at our GP and Mandy was seen, the GP said she has a head cold and that my mum was to give her plenty fluids and rest. My mum was not happy with this advice her gut told her to take my sister to the Accident and Emergency department at the hospital, so she did. When we arrived my mum was asked a number of questions and then we were seated, we were soon called and once the doctor had examined Mandy he wanted to send her for a scan to ensure nothing was going on inside her brain. It was an emergency scan so it was done quite quickly, we were then asked to take a seat and we would be called again once the consultant had gone over her scan. The time came when we were called back, once seated the Consultant turned his chair, took his glasses off and gave a sigh he said "I am very sorry to break this to you but I am afraid your daughter has a brain tumour the size of a small orange located on her brain stem" my mum looked at him with wide eyes he then said "this type of cancer is not operatable im afraid she is terminally ill" he then went on to say that with chemotherapy and radiotherapy it will prolong her life a little and slow the growth of the tumour but thats it. We were given a card and were told to head straight for Edinburgh to the Royal Hospital for Sick Children so Mandy could start her treatment. My mum dropped me off at my Aunts and she headed to the hospital with Mandy. As a young kid myself I was confused at what had just happened but when it was finally explained to me in terms I understood my heart sank. I asked if she would be okay to be told probably not and that it was important I was strong and be there for my sister, I intended to do just that. Mandy was in hopsital for 6 months and my mum and dad would take turns to be there with her, I was allowed to stay on the weekends when I was not at school. My sister looked pail, her long blonde hair was falling out due to the cancer treatment and she was constantly throwing up and felt tired. It saddened me to see my sister this way but I shed my tears when I was alone so she didnt see how upset I was. I looked forward to my visits with Mandy she would always cheer me up and I had the same affect on her. Mandy had her 6th Birthday in the hospital and I must admit they did a very good job holding her a birthday party, some of the kids in the ward also attended it was nice. After 6 months Mandy was allowed home for a month and then she went back in for 2 months and it was like this until Mandy was almost 7 years old. I looked forward to her coming home she always gave me a big hug and a big smile no matter how frail or unwell she was. She had gained a lot of weight due to the steroids she was taking, 11 medicines she took 4 times per day a lot for a small child and she would always complain that they tasted yucky but she took them regardless. When mandy was in doing one of her hospital stays I was told that she was coming home for good, what they meant though was she was coming home to die. We got baloons and banners, cake, sweets, everything that Mandy loved was waiting on her walking through the door. The time came when she arrived I ran outside to greet her but rather than the smile I was used to I was met with a little girl who barely had the energy to walk up the stairs, she wasnt interested in any of the stuff laid out for her she just wanted to go to her bedroom and lie in her bed, we lay there all day me and her just watching her favourite Walt Disney movies and eating cheese and onion crisp as those were her favourite. Mandy's 7th Birthday was approaching and she wanted a pretty dress so one of my Aunts friends came and measured her and made her, her own pretty dress that she designed herself. December came and Mandy was getting iller by the day, on her birthday the 18th December she had no energy to open presents it took her a week to open everything but even at that she had no interest in playing with them despite encouragement from me. My sister was dying and there was nothing I could do about it, Christmas came and went she didnt open any of her presents she just didnt have the energy. On the 5th of January she took her last breath she had just turned 7 and I was 10 at the time, I was distraught inconsolable I just cried and cried and cried. All her christmas presents were stacked neatly at her feet in her small white coffin, I couldnt believe she was gone. The day of her funeral came and the whole town were at their front doors and gathered in the streets of our town to pay their respects. The whole town was in mourning of this special little girl, the cemetry was so full packed I had never seen as many people in the place before. The whole family had a red rose to throw in as she was being lowered this was too much for me to bare and I tried to jump in after her, my father took hold of me and just cuddled me and cried, I had never felt a pain like it I was alone and she was gone. After the funeral we all went back to my house and people came and payed their respects, I lay on my bed and cried hard into the teddy my sister gave me before she passed, she knew im positive of that she knew she was dying.
By Michelle King5 years ago in Families
Heroin
I was born in 1981 to a mother who took drugs and drank alcohol, it was this very reason I had disowned her from my life from age 16 until my early 20's that was until she had another child a baby boy called Casey. During this time I had been told my Grandfather was dying of lung cancer and my current partner had been caught cheating with a lap dancer. This left me distraught so I had made the decision to try and reconnect with my mother as I believed she was clean of drugs. I went to my mothers and we put the past behind us and started our relationship again, she managed to keep up the act she was clean that was until I caught her burning heroin in the early hours of the morning one day when she was in bed. We had an argument and that was it she was back to taking drugs in front of me again. I was loosing weight and crying constantly with the pain of my Grandfather dying and what my partner was doing with his lap dancer, I really loved this guy and worshipped the ground he walked on and the thought of him with someone else broke me, I have been abused my entire life but this pain was different it cut deep.
By Michelle King5 years ago in Psyche
Spiritual Awakening
As a person who has sufferred 35 years of abuse by various people in my life you can imagine the amount of toxic stress released into my body. As a result of this I suffer from Fibromyalgia and Functional Neurological Disorder, I am 39 years old. I worked as a carer for 17+ years and then went to uni and graduated as a nurse in 2013, unfortunatley I was signed off work in Jun 2020 due to ongoing seizures. It was during this time I realised how much I had neglected my own self-care needs because I was too focused on caring for others. It was then I decided I was going to put myself first for a change, not in a selfish way but in a way that made my own wellness matter especially my emotional health. As a sufferer of PTSD this is very important in order to live a relatively normal life, so I started to meditate. I lit candles, used oil burners that sent the aroma of Laveneder through the house and played music that was aimed at balancing all my chakras. Not knowing what these were I started to study and research so I had all the right information so I could do it right. I also used to be a negative thinker my therapist told me that this was my thoughts and all the negative things I had been told almost my entire life. I am not my thoughts I am not my thoughts I kept telling myself in my head. It was during this time something started to happen to me, I just felt different. I was no longer in an abusive relationship I had finally found a loving man who dotes on me, he has helped me heal immensely. As it was nearing xmas time my stress levels hightened so I started doing 2 meditations per day once in the morning usually aimed at healing and keeping my chakras aligned and the other one I did at night before I fell asleep. I had no idea the amount of guided meditations and music there were there are litarally thousands and thousands. I noticed one on meeting your spirit guides I did this one for 7 days before bed, I had an encounter with spirit my best friend who sadly died but they told me everything was gonna be alright, I felt so calm and warm, after this my intuition got better and my level of conciousness opened up and my third eye opened up for sure, if anyone is interested in meditation I would highly recommend it.
By Michelle King5 years ago in Motivation
