The Interview. Content Warning.
Interviewer: What is a courtesy kill?
Respondent: A favor
I: why is it called a favor?
R: It stops the suffering
I: So, A favor ends one's sickness?
R: Something like that.
I: Can you be more specific?
R: We stop the suffering for good.
I: Suffering is a vague form of pain. Your results end the pain of the person suffering then.
R: See, you do understand. So tell me then, what suffering are you experiencing?
I: Actually I don't suffer.
R:Bullshit. I call fucking Bullshit!
I: Look, this interview is about you, not me.
R: I guess you're right, sorry about that. You cause the suffering you little maggot! You see, most people don't see the big fucking picture, like you.
I: Hot damn, you're a problem solver for those willing to pay big bucks!
R:Problem Solver is a different pay grade, get your interview back inline, with the contract I signed mother fucker!
I:I, I apologize for my variance, I'm sorry.
R:Fuck sakes man, your causing me some acid reflux shit again. Damn. You see, it's this kind of communication that really passes me off.
I: Do you need a moment or a glass of water? I can assure you it won't happen again. I promise you that. In my life that is.
R: Hmm, (clears throat, stands, opens his black pinstripe suit, removes a hanky, Wipes his brow, reinserts the hanky,). You know, I might just hold you to your last comment.
I: Wow, (jokingly remarks), I made a killer uncomfortable! Lol.
R: (Pulls out a glock, 9mm, from the shoulder holster. Quickly unloads five rounds into the Interviewers Chest. The light reflecting from the dark shades he wore showed the Interviewer convulsing from the entries).
I: gurgled(slumped over,).
R: Now that's a Mother Fuckin Courtesy kill. This stopped my suffering, through this fucking interview for a "Cold Blooded Killer."
Producer interjection: And that's a cut! Stop rolling! (Producer falls slowly to the floor shaking like a petit Mal seizure).
R: For fuck sakes man. You requested this reality interview thingy. Did you not think shit might just go sideways? Reality sells better when life is unscripted. You asshole producers are always wanting drama. Now you got your drama and your shaking like a fucking epileptic. Unbelievable.
Did you also not think my identity needed to be protected too? Wait, don't fucking answer that question. I'll answer for you. This set was completely staged by the organization. No live feeds, no live mics, no live interviewer, bahaha. Now your allowed to shake Mr
Producer. Hmm, what reality will unfold for you?
P:Please, please I have a wife, two children and retire in 2 years!! Please man, don't kill me, I'm begging you. (Crying, sobbing, and groveling).
R:Hey, good fucking news for you today. No harm will come to you. We have your information, your wife's information not to mention your entire family tree for fuck sakes. So, think very carefully as I exit this interview. The only staff involved in this little charade of an interview was the Interviewer, and you. The cameraman as well as the other staff are all employed by the organization. Therefore you are a loose end with only your life to gain by keeping your mouth fucking shut.
Got it?
P:Got it. (Solemnly acknowledged).
R:Done.