JENNIFER MADDOX
Bio
Writing stories is one of my greatest passions. It allows me to be unapologetically me. I can be creative, inspiring, silly, suspenseful, and or deep. There are no boundaries when I decide. Writing creates a special kind of freedom.
Stories (2)
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Losing Him
Jade do this. Jade do that. Jade, did you remember to? It just goes on and on, person after person. I feel the need to escape from this place I used to call home. It has only been three days, and I barely can stand it. Perhaps I am just used to being in my own apartment, where there is a lot less people and noise. I used to dream of having a big family, but I think a husband and a cute dog will do. Now I do understand that I may just be on edge because all of the changes that happening right now. I am used to things going a certain way and being a certain way. Why does so much have to change so fast? Just last week I was living my best life. I mean I was on my own, employed full time, enjoying the warm Florida climate, enjoying my cozy apartment where I live alone, working out daily, and indulging in food and wine with my friends on the weekend. Now I am surrounded in cold Michigan with all of my closest family members in a home that is too small to fit us all comfortably. Now I love my family, every last one of them. But we each have our own lives going on and our own personalities, that we sometimes crash when we have too much of each other. Day one of this trip was not bad at all. I think I was just so happy to hug my loved ones, that nothing else mattered. I just needed to know they were alright. We had not been around each other long enough to be bothered by anyone. Day two was when reality set in: we are all together to mourn the death of my grandfather. Everyone just seemed sad on day two. We talked to one another, but not in any great length. It was just a day that kind of dragged, but everyone was respectful to one another. Now it’s day three and no one is biting their tongue. People are fighting for bathroom time, debating over what to cook, not cleaning up after one’s self, and just talking over one another. We are all still sad, but I think rather angry too. Although my grandpa lived a long life, it still doesn’t seem fair that he is not here anymore. I looked forward to our weekly hour discussions on the phone. I could talk to Grandpa just about anything. It did not matter if I wanted to talk about my life or the moon, he always listened. He had a way of making anyone feel comfortable. He was kind, wise, and had the best sense of humor. Him and I were so close. I feel like he belonged to me more than anyone else. That is rather selfish of me, because I know him and my grandmother was really close. I really haven’t even really checked on her. She is here with everyone else, but I feel like I am purposely avoiding her. Maybe I do not want to see her sadness. Maybe I do not want to think about how devastating this must be to her. They have been married over fifty years! How do you just say bye to someone who you’ve grown to love so much? Poor grandma. I’m thinking poor me, but really Grandma probably is in worse shape. I know my mother is in bad shape: that is mostly why she keeps calling for me. She needs my help with mostly everything. My two older brothers James and Jayden have not been called at all. I wonder if my mother remembers that they are here too. James even has his wife and children with him: they could be a help to my mother. But no, she doesn’t request anyone but me. I should have had a sister so she could help me. I don’t think my mother expects as much from her sons. They are spoiled rotten. I’m the baby: that was supposed to me. Instead, I was the one my mom was much harder on. She takes the role of being a woman to another level. My mother has taught me to be very independent, as well as very virtuous. She wants me to be do well professionally but just as well when it comes to one’s household and taking care of others. I cannot lie: my mother is a modern-day Martha Stewart mixed with Kamala Harris. I’m like mom, can I just be 23? She cracks me up sometimes with her ambition, kindness, and drive to see me succeed.
By JENNIFER MADDOX5 years ago in Families
UNAPOLOGETICALLY ME
This year I am choosing to fall in love with myself. I am choosing to start this journey of loving me today; not waiting to evolve into the best version of myself. I am not going to wait until I have it all together. I am not waiting until all the quarantine weight falls off. I am not waiting until I’ve healed from all the pain I have endured over many years. I am not going to insist on meeting goals and objectives first. I am not waiting on others to encourage or support me. For the first time in life: I am choosing me. I have abandoned her and neglected her while trying to help any and everyone. My compassion is a blessing, but it has also been my weakness. I have compromised so much of me, that sometimes I’ve felt like I no longer mattered. Although I knew I was suffering inside, I felt others were more deserving of mercy. I’d be willing to starve so others could eat. I’d overwork so others could rest. I’d carry the burden so no one else had to experience the heaviness. I’d dim my light so someone else could shine. In doing these things I hoped to make humanity better. I knew that I alone couldn’t a huge difference in the world, but I tried to make a difference. I encouraged, uplifted, and supported others: it did not matter if they were family or a stranger. I just wanted to do my part.
By JENNIFER MADDOX5 years ago in Motivation
